Posts Tagged ‘transitions’

Heading into the Holidays – 5 Ways to Make it Easier

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

I used to shake my head and procrastinate about pulling things together for the “holiday season,” which in my life, extends from October-ish through mid January. A victim of the holiday stress. Okay a little dramatic, but that’s what holiday stress does to some of us.

And then one year, I woke up, after attending a holidays/stress workshop at my local library. New perspective: Manage it instead of  giving up and letting it managing you. Or trying to do everything you normally do and THEN add holidays on top of it all.

So how can you turn this around in your life? Here are my five best suggestions – I don’t know your particular situation, but think about how one or more of these could work for you, even if you have to tailor an idea a bit.  

Realize that this IS more on you at this time of year.

What to do:  We have this magical thinking that despite feeling crazy busy much of the year, we can STILL handle more at the holiday season.

Stop the magical thinking; this is where the stress comes from, the difference between what you expect and what you can realistically handle.

Realizing this IS more and that you don’t have to do it all, especially for everyone else, is a big shift, but the most important one.

Decide what is MOST important.

What to do:

Less is more, right? When you go on vacation and you cram so much into the week that it’s all a blur, what’s that like? When you return somewhere you’ve been before and take the week at a slower pace, what’s that like? Slower. More mindful. More aware of what you really enjoy.

Discuss with your immediate household members – including children and parents who live with you – what they find most beautiful about this time of year.

These become your priorities for where to spend time and money. If you need to, set high/medium/low priorities or some relative measure. This way, if you have extra time, you can go deeper into the list. Or it’ll be easier to know what people said wasn’t really all that important. Maybe that becomes a high priority for next year.

For me, I know it’s: music, family, something meditative or spiritual, and the good and positive energy in the air, the smell of evergreens, the beauty of outdoors.

Use your calendar and planner – more now than ever.

What to do: Those priorities you just discussed – put those first into your calendar. Get them blocked in, before other invitations and “must do” events fill up your time.

It’s fairly predictable in my household that certain weekends are spent away from home. So now I block our events, block those away weekends, and then step back. I have figured out over time that I need one weekend a month at home, ideally two, to feel anchored. Anchored to me means I have my head clear, feel fairly well in control, not scattered – and just anchored to my own home. My head feels organized, so I feel calmer all around. Make sense?

Research shows that stress causes forgetfulness – since we know this, even if you’re not usually a list maker or planner/PDA person, now would be a great time to use both. Even if only for this season.

Organize your days differently.

What to do: I like to grocery shop on the weekends, preferably Sunday.  There are certain household management chores I prefer to do on weekends rather than weeknights. And that’s where I was stuck in my thinking that these were the only good times to handle these chores. That works pretty well for most of the year, but thinking differently at the holidays has been a sanity-saver.

Instead, just for these few months, I look at my calendar each week and get creative (which I like to do, it turns out – because I like variety). Each week the trip may be a different evening/day.

Ask for assistance.

What to do:  Times of stress, of change or overload are the best times – and easiest times – to give yourself and your budget some permission to hire out services.

Hire an organizer coach to help you plot out your season. Hire a personal assistant/errand services company to grocery shop with your list, do gift returns, or ship packages.

 

Are You Ready to Work with an Organizer ?

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

It takes a lot to make a phone call to a professional. How we are raised, our experiences with reaching out, our desire to be successful on our own and practical reasons contribute to a decision. When  you have a good experience – or even a great one! – the next step out is easier. And then you realize that when you do reach out, you gain a new perspective on an old problem.

 

“The thinking it took to get us into this mess is not the same thinking that is going to get us out of it.”

- Attributed to Alfred Einstein

I’ve attached a useful article written by a colleague, Linda Samuels.  She is a fellow member of the Institute for Challenging Disorganization.

She walks us through the stages of change – in her own words…

Initial Rumblings

-Identifying Possibilities

-Reaching Out

-Beyond Talking

-Life Jolts.

 

If you’re not used to reaching out, that doesn’t have to be the case forever.

I reach out when I need: outside expertise or perspective on my life or business; I don’t have a strength or a skill to do what  I know needs to be done; I know how and what, but I need accountability to someone else — that was probably the most difficult for me, but it’s proven so useful personally and professionally.

We can’t be great at all things, so why not choose to be great at what makes us feel good and get some assistance with the other stuff. Nothing wrong with that and it gets us from point A to point B that much faster and more easily.

This, whatever “this” is, just doesn’t need to be such a struggle if there are others with great ideas and talents for it.

So take a look at Linda’s article, and while you’re reading it, think about a specific part of your life you’d  like to finally deal with.

And if it makes sense, let’s talk.  The article link: Readiness for Change

Organizing & Life Changes: 10 Suggestions for Organizing through Change

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

Their daughter is getting married. Her partner was very ill and is coming home. Her business is in its own next chapter, as it grows into something different. She is looking ahead to surgery with a long rehab phase.

How does organization fit? Here’s what they’d tell you – it’s fairly similar from person to person.

They are organizing to move on – releasing some of their past, to make mental and physical space for an upcoming chapter – even if they don’t know what that chapter will hold for them.

This type of organizing is about mindset and values – what’s important now becomes different, as you move through a life transition. The past is a bit easier to let go of. The future is even more unsettling and unpredictable though.

How Does it Feel?

  • I’ve gained such clarity during this whole time. It’s so clear what I need to do. But there’s so much I want to do now. Where do I start?
  • I need more time to take care of me and it’s hard to find in my life right now.
  • I don’t know how I’ll fit in everything. My unpredictable schedule will be difficult to take in stride, even though I know I’m doing the right thing. How do I focus on “now,” and stay present for the one who needs me.
  • How can we reorganize my schedule, decluttering it so I have more time for what’s become more important.
  • Who can help – at home, at the office? So much I want to do to get the business to the next  level; where do I start?

Ten Suggestions

Changes interrupt our lives. These changes and transitions leave us with homes, belongings, and schedules that no longer work for us. Something is out of alignment, and we’re not sure what. Reorganizing to a new normal way of living (with our time and our ‘stuff’) can make the changes easier to take on, whether we reorganize home, office or schedules.

Your values relate to organizing.  Values help you figure out which belongings you really need in your life. Love to learn? Weed out and reorganize something else, not the books. Keep what you love, what gives you joy for life, what sustains and motivates you.

What is “organized enough” to you? Only you and your household get to be the judges of what is “organized enough” in your home. If you try to organize to someone else’s standards, you will not be as committed. And the systems will be harder to keep up with because they were not designed for you.

Why is getting reorganized important, particularly now? Your organizing systems will work best for you and you’ll be most motivated to declutter stuff or time when you tie organizing to your goals. Inspiring, motivational, and it gets done!

Build on what you know. Don’t ask what’s NOT working w/your organizing or systems. Ask what IS working and what ‘sort of’ works? Build on what’s there. Many systems at a time of life changes will be a ‘draft’ version anyway – temporary, as your life comes together again in new ways.

Be a role model. Organize you and your stuff first. Then help others in your household – you may be surprised at how much they notice and follow!

Time is fluid. What’s important to you now? That’s what to fill your calendar with. Forget about the future for awhile. Too much future thinking is overwhelming. And by the time the future arrives, will it be what we envisioned? Usually not.

Maintenance comes first. Sometimes your organizing system seems perfect …  until you realize how complicated it’s going to be to keep up with. Consider maintenance as you design new ways to stay organized.

It’s about you – remember to take care of yourself.  If you give up what makes you tick as you’re going through a life change, you’ll find your days more of a struggle. Whatever it takes – keep with some level of your exercise, your good eating, your perfect cup of tea, or your reading time when you’re going through a big life change. You may not be able to exercise every single day in the same way; but can you take a quick walk for 10 minutes? That may be all you need, but it IS something.  Find small ways to care for yourself, or ask friends if you can be accountable to them.

Organization, in times of crisis, can be a lifesaver. You can’t organize your way out of everything, but you don’t have to be a victim of circumstances either. Accept quickly that things are changing. Adapt your behavior, change your systems even if it’s temporary, and manage your schedule to some small degree. Doing something will help you feel more in control during these unnerving times … unnerving is due to change, any change, whether it’s a beautiful welcomed change or one foist upon you. Change is change.

 

Life’s Big Changes – Coach on Through to Your Next Chapter

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

Remain coachable. No matter how successful you are, there is always someone who can see what you cannot. -Cynthia Renee Frazie

Life changes … and then, at some  point, we realize we need to get ourselves organized  to move on. This is where coaching supports — organizing your life to move on, create a new chapter,  let go of enough of the past – but not so much you regret it.

Your partner or parent has left or perhaps passed away. Now what? You think you’re ready to move on. Your home needs to be “yours” but you don’t want to dishonor memories or move too fast.

You’ve been a caregiver or very involved in a parent’s illness.  How to use your time  differently now that you have more of it.

You’re divorced or soon to be. You want to make your home your own now. What’ s important? Where to start? How to tackle a whole house and make it your own.

You always followed someone else’s organizing systems for  bill paying, mail, time, house maintenance. You want to or need to take them on now, but where to begin? How to make them your own?

There’s a new and different energy in the household: children, grandchildren, pets or host children. How do you manage your very different household, all who live there, meals, bills, time, stuff?

You’re pre-empty nest or there now. What’s next for you? Creating a new life chapter but how and where to start.

Finally, you get the explanation, the AD/HD diagnosis: acceptance, new ways of organizing your days, figuring out your version of a life that fits you, organizing in new, organic ways that make sense to you.

Breaking big issues (or projects) into smaller steps. Where to begin. How to start and stay with it. You’re stuck and can’t figure out why or where to head next.

Career change to self-employment: You’re on your own and it’s just too flexible. Keeping your home/office boundaries clear (space and time). Controlling papers, piles, emails.

Self-employment — scaling up - taking next steps to grow your business. Some of us are creators. Some create order out of the chaos created by the creators. And some will maintain. Which are you best at?

Motivation, procrastination, stalling, not getting started or staying stuck – You want  it to change.

Organizing your time and your days differently – for more productivity at work or for better balance/grounding in your personal life.

Not sure how coaching for organizing works  or not sure it’s for you?

Call to explore.  No charge to explore …and no selling.

If it’s a fit, we will both know it.

603 765 9267 or Sue@OrganizeNH.com or simply register to receive blog updates and get to know more.

“Coaches have the ability to view things from afar – in what
some call ‘helicopter vision’ – and to shed new light on
difficult situations. Often they can act as a sounding board
through tough decisions, help sharpen skills, and motivate.”

from CFO Magazine



What’s up for Summertime?

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011


I heard Suze Orman on TV recently at the gym. You may have heard her say: “People first, then money, then things.” Think about that order for a second.

Today,  she talked about our economy since 2008 … that we need to to let it go, the idea that things will return to the way they were. But the good side, she continued, is that we are “returning to basic American values.”

Our values, in a few short words, describe who we are, what we are passionate about, what matters the most. Courage, excellence, learning, self-awareness, creativity,integration, knowledge – all values I’ve heard from coaching conversations.

When we organize our lives based on our values, we are in sync,  in flow, comfortable in our skin – however you feel it, you know it. And we know when something doesn’t fit quite right in our life. “A life that fits” begins with knowing your values and builds from there.

Back to summertime

As we approach summertime, we’ll have a blank slate, or at least a different pace in our lives and for our time. In education, you may not work or you may do something very different. If you’re in a company or at a college, you may work a shorter work week. And if you work for yourself, you can do any of those. Choices, choices.

As the graduations and parties finish up, as we move into our summer schedules, think about what’s important to you. This will help you make those choices.

Haven’t thought about values or what you stand for in awhile? If you’ve recently gone through a major life change, now is a great time to check in with yourself. Your circumstances have changed; have you, perhaps?

Use the list of values below as a start. Add your own, refine or start from scratch. This is where we often start in coaching for organizing.

One of two things happens to us

  1. Our summertime weekends fill up. Our days get packed. It happened so suddenly we think.
  2. Or we don’t see this right off and end up in chaos, in the middle of the  summer, wondering where “all the time went.”

So there’s still time right now!

How would you like to spend your time?

Think about your values and what’s important to you, for summertime.

Priorities may very well be different this time of year; stop, think and acknowledge this, so you can do something .

What’s the “do something?”

  1. Do your values exercise.
  2. Take out your calendar.
  3. Rough estimates: how much time are you spending on what matters to you? No tallying here, just a glance at this week/weekend to see how your time is spent.
  4. What’s getting in the way – who and what are your obstacles to living based on what matters – your obligatory events you don’t really want to attend, the people who take up your time or drag you down, too much grandchild sitting, no babysitter.
  5. Getting rid of and letting go of what gets in the way is, I know, the hard part. How do we blow up the rocks that are in our way? We meet the issue (the rock) head on. Or we look at different perspectives, which offer us choices (go around the rock, under the rock, above the rock). And sometimes, we need to know what’s missing from our path before we can let go of what’s there.

Don’t get stuck staring at the boulder in front of you. How? Become aware of where you are now, what’s important to you and what’s in the way.

Live to your values and a lot will be easier.

Sample values list –

Accountability

Affection

Autonomy

Competency

Courage

Courtesy

Creativity

Discipline

Drive

Excellence

Fairness

Flexibility

Forgiveness

Honesty

Humor

Knowledge

Loyalty

Obedience

Order

Reason

Service

Tolerance

If you’d like support exploring your values, that’s where we start in coaching for organizing.