Posts Tagged ‘Next Chapter’

Update to My Post Yesterday on Life Balance Boards

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

In yesterday’s post, you saw my own life balance board (or as I’ve named it in my PC files, my “balance beam” board. Remember in gymnastics class, how hard it was to balance on the one or two inch wide balance beam?). Today, I’m sharing my terrifically creative sister-in-law’s board; she is a creative design professional. She’s the one who got me started, so here is her own version.

 

If you missed the post that explains all this, go here first.

 

The Life Change Network

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012

I’ve been writing for a few months now for The Life Change Network, with my Organizer Coach hat on. Each month, contributing writers provide articles on a variety of topics related to changes in life – the positive changes and the sorrowful ones. Change is always difficult, even if you decided to make the change.  As John and Deana Ryan, the founders, say:

“We understand that life changes can be difficult. It is our goal to provide you with a community to help you better handle these life changes through education, as well as community that offers mental and emotional support that is practical and helpful.”

They founded the community after experiencing some difficult losses in their lives; they come to this from a place of experience, passion, a desire to pay it forward.

My latest article, Newly Single (Again): Who Deserves A Place in Your Life? offers advice on how to decide who deserves a place in your life, and I use the word “deserves” quite on purpose. Post divorce or after being widowed, there’s a long transition period. At some point in that period, you may find that certain people are not a positive energy for you to be around or they react in difficult ways.

In “6 Steps for Dealing with Difficult People.”  Debbie LaChusa says that their actions are often driven by an emotion such as fear.

” I’ve found that most times when we step back, we find it’s not the person, but the situation that’s difficult.”

Change is difficult. People can appear to be difficult. Look beneath what they’re showing you. Use some of the questions in my article to decide whether they belong in your life, as you move forward.

If you enjoyed these two articles, next month’s theme is “major life changes.” I’m discussing  “Regroup, Remember and Reorganize – The New Three R’s. ” Other upcoming themes are:

June Work-Life Balance
July Choosing Your Path
August Change in Lifestyle / Back-to-School
September Life Lessons
October Overcoming Fears
November Family Dynamics / Holidays
December Holidays / Gratitude

 

So if you’re in need of advice and ideas for dealing with a life change, check out The Life Change Network on Twitter  or Facebook or stop by on the website.

If you haven’t been by my website in awhile, signing up for the newsletter sent every 6 weeks gives you a free copy of  my advice on “Organizing & Life Changes: 10 Suggestions for Organizing through Change.”

 

Turning A Corner – Reorganize to Process Life Changes

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

Life changes and major events interrupt our lives in ways that we cannot imagine.

Whether the changes are joyous (welcoming a family member), unexpected (a job loss, major surgery) or tragic ( loss of a loved one), these changes leave us with homes, belongings, and schedules that no longer meet our needs or help us live our lives. Reorganizing is an important part of processing any life change.

Reorganizing is useful, because you’re changing your schedule, office or home to meet your new ways of living. Systems cannot be static, because life isn’t, and systems are what give you the time to deal with the life change.

Organizing, I often say, is a means to an end. The end is the results you want – to have more time,energy or a modified space to handle the life event.

How  do you know when you’re ready to shift, to change your systems, reorganize your space or declutter your past?

When you feel as if you’re turning a corner.

Turning the Corner – Michigan Forest Land

When you’re more often than contemplating creating physical and mental space for your next chapter – whether you know what it looks like or not. Decluttering your  home, your schedule, and creating the new.

Only you can judge that timing.

Take your time. Live with what you have until it feels like you’re “turning a corner.”  When the “old” truly feels like the past. When you want something new.

You’ll know it or you’ll feel it. You’ll see it clearly if you’re visual.  Listen to your voice and only yours. Because if you don’t, you’ll make decisions you may regret later on.

So wait until you know it’s time. Until you can see that last corner … just before you begin your next chapter in life. And then it’s time to reorganize and create something comfortable but new.

 

Stay tuned for details: On January 6th, I’ll be the guest on my publisher’s webinar “Help Me Organize after a Life Change.”

Do Your Surroundings Become You?

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

You can read several meanings into this blog title, can’t you? Do your  surroundings inspire you? Or do they bring you down, with more clutter than you can tolerate? Does the clutter reflect how fast your life is passing by? Do your things bring you comfort or is it more like protection from something else?

If you’ve been through a big life change lately – of your choice or not – then your surroundings really may not become you. Perhaps a parent or spouse passed away. Your relationship splits up. You choose to leave corporate for another career or to go out on your own. You or someone you love is facing major surgery or treatment. You decide you want to move and downsize.

When the dust settles, you may find yourself surrounded by your past—your belongings or home reflect who you were before your transition, but now things have changed. You may be feeling this already – that some of your belongings are no longer  in  sync with the person you are becoming. They really feel  like … clutter.

What to do ?

Approaching life in chapters allows you to close the door on the past (while still honoring it) and fully embrace your present. When you live this way, you give yourself permission to declutter so you’ll be be more comfortable with choices you make. You’ll keep the best or the essence of the past and bring it forward, while  making room for your next chapter’s experiences.

What is “organized enough” to you? Only you and your household members are the judges of what is “organized enough.” If you try to organize to someone else’s standards, the systems will be harder to keep up with because they were not designed for your lifestyle or ways of thinking and remembering. And so the clutter returns in these cases. Find your own answer.

Your values relate to organizing.  Values help you figure out which belongings you really need in your life. Love to learn? Weed out and reorganize something else, not the books. Keep what you love, what gives you joy, sustains and motivates you.

Decluttering and reorganizing systems plays a big part in keeping our calm. If we hold onto the ways we used to manage life and our things, and yet this life change has occurred, it’s harder to accept what is and move on.

Suddenly these systems work against us instead of with us, even if they once fit beautifully into our lives. New systems for new times. Systems do outgrow their owners, especially as we experience life’s changes. A parent moves in, you adopt a child, add a puppy, or are widowed: in each case, your systems need to shift as your circumstances change, so that you keep up (and keep calm!).

Declutter – internally: Internal clutter includes old ideas, attitudes, beliefs and reactions which no longer serve the person you are. They may be hold-overs from how you were raised or from a past relationship -but there’s the point – these are in the past. You may believe what others say about you, just because they’ve always said it (distracted, not creative, not with it). But these gremlins, too, can be decluttered. New chapter, fresh start.  

When we declutter, the mental and physical space we create by letting go of things that belong in our past gives us new energy for our next chapter. Our focus is forward, with respect for what’s behind us— because what’s behind us is a large part of who we have become.



Are You Ready to Work with an Organizer ?

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

It takes a lot to make a phone call to a professional. How we are raised, our experiences with reaching out, our desire to be successful on our own and practical reasons contribute to a decision. When  you have a good experience – or even a great one! – the next step out is easier. And then you realize that when you do reach out, you gain a new perspective on an old problem.

 

“The thinking it took to get us into this mess is not the same thinking that is going to get us out of it.”

- Attributed to Alfred Einstein

I’ve attached a useful article written by a colleague, Linda Samuels.  She is a fellow member of the Institute for Challenging Disorganization.

She walks us through the stages of change – in her own words…

Initial Rumblings

-Identifying Possibilities

-Reaching Out

-Beyond Talking

-Life Jolts.

 

If you’re not used to reaching out, that doesn’t have to be the case forever.

I reach out when I need: outside expertise or perspective on my life or business; I don’t have a strength or a skill to do what  I know needs to be done; I know how and what, but I need accountability to someone else — that was probably the most difficult for me, but it’s proven so useful personally and professionally.

We can’t be great at all things, so why not choose to be great at what makes us feel good and get some assistance with the other stuff. Nothing wrong with that and it gets us from point A to point B that much faster and more easily.

This, whatever “this” is, just doesn’t need to be such a struggle if there are others with great ideas and talents for it.

So take a look at Linda’s article, and while you’re reading it, think about a specific part of your life you’d  like to finally deal with.

And if it makes sense, let’s talk.  The article link: Readiness for Change