Posts Tagged ‘Memories’

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Your Family Recipes – There’s an App for That

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

What do you think? In this New York Times article, “Are Cookbooks Obsolete?” we read that the new tablets have cooking applications on them – which may result in the demise of paper recipes and paper cookbooks.

I find myself more and more relying on my technology gadgets, even though I didn’t grow up with technology (I’m 52). What intrigues me about this?

Next chapters – A early inventor, Bob Huntley, designed his cooking application as he faced retirement!

Memories – Until 100% of us are using tablets (or their then-current incarnation), how do we pass on Meme’s handwritten recipe cards and the many, many family recipes and favorites. Always there’s that gap, but we figure it out. Nook and book. Movie and on-demand. And so forth.

The best part of this idea is that the recipe is presented in ways that make it easier for non-linear thinkers to use and follow the recipe.The example Mr. Huntley used about his own use of recipes is just what happens to me!

I quote the article:

“Mr. Huntley also developed CulinView, a nonverbal way for a more confident cook to follow a recipe. After ingredients are measured and the oven heated, the rest of the process is shown in a flow chart, illustrated with bright images of mixers, whisks, ovens and ingredients. With arrows and color-coding, it sketches out the process for the more confident cook who already knows how to cream butter and sugar, say, but needs to be reminded what to do with the chopped apple and grated fresh ginger. SpinView puts the whole recipe on one page, with the option of scrolling through the steps. Finally, for the traditionalists, there is the Cookbook view, formatted in the old-fashioned way. ”

So what do you think? Will our paper cookbooks and family recipes survive and if so, how? Comment here, or head on over to our Life in Context Facebook page – where we’ve been working on our Food Memories workbook!

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Posted in Interviews and Guest Posts, Papers | 2 Comments »

“No, I Don’t Need Your Stuff.”

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

When she was downsizing her home, my grandmother would bring goodies on her visits. I didn’t know she was downsizing for an eventual move at the time or that would have given me perspective, I’m pretty sure. I was just out of college at the time, so thinking ahead to my own space.

She’d bring me something beautiful I’d remember from my childhood, such as a small pewter cream pitcher. I could remember where that pitcher was placed on her built-in bookcases. Even without touching the pitcher, I could remember it’s cold, metal feel. I remembered the  stories she used to tell about the pewter ware in the family. And my grandmother, a widow at a young age, was at our house a lot as I grew up. Many fond memories.

So of course I took the pewter pitcher. And the little plates. And the candlesticks. And more.

How could I say “no,” to memories, to my heroine, to my persuasive Baba? I didn’t say “no,” for a long time.

At some point, I found the perspective, that, while she loves me very much, at that time, she was downsizing and needed to know if family wanted her stuff. I could have said “no,” and eventually, I did.

 

Saying no is an easy way to keep less, but it’s often difficult for us to do.

Some ways to say “no,” without using the word “no” – and still being clear that you don’t need someone else’s stuff.

You probably have a friend or colleague who has figured out how to say no, with grace. Ask them how they do it.

Or try answering the request this way: “What I CAN do for you is … but not what you asked.” For example, I gave Baba other ideas for where she could give away her things.  And she still loved me even though I said “no” more often than “yes”!

“I already have one of those. How about it you donate it to — your church, Goodwill. Ask your knitting group.” Focus the person on other groups she might enjoy giving her things to.

And questions to ask  yourself, before you say “yes” would be:

How many of these do I have already?

Where exactly will I put this?

Do I love the object? The memory? Or the person giving it to me? If it’s the memory, snap a picture. If it’s the person, find other ways to say “I love you.”

 

Of course, her needlepoint’s another story entirely.

 

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Posted in Downsizing Dilemmas- Solved, Memories | No Comments »

Organizing Memorabilia

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

Before you dive in …

Before you dive in to organize your memorabilia, think about your reasons for wanting to do so. Some typical possibilities are:

  • Connect your present with your past. Honor the past, without getting stuck there.
  • Pass along the key memories, the treasures.
  • Understand which belongings are important to your family history.
  • Understand how your memories fit into your broader community and culture.

Organizing is usually not just about getting things organized. If you reflect a bit on your project, you’ll often find a motivation for organizing your memorabilia. A reason, a theme, or a value – something you stand for.

Four benefits to choosing a reason, theme, or a value

  1. You gain focus. There’s a purpose, a goal, an event, or a theme behind what you’re doing. I like to ask the question this way: “You’re organizing your memorabilia so that …. “
  2. Knowing these answers will motivate you when your inspiration is a little short one day.
  3. As you start your walk down memory lane, you’ll be searching for the treasures which support your reason/theme/value … and spending more time on these memories, rather than on every single item.
  4. It will be clearer what you might let go of, or find another home for.

We are all story tellers to some degree although some of us don’t think of ourselves as “good” story tellers. Some people consider themselves the family historian. Some remember stories well which our earlier generations told us. Some of us take our inherited items and re-purpose them. We write, paint or quilt our stories.  So how we each tell our stories is different and is a personal choice. What IS important is that we record them in some fairly permanent ways to preserve our memories, legacy and personal history.

Melissa-older-pictures-border

What do you have to say and to whom?

Melissa, was about 70 years young, when she decided to start writing her memoirs, potentially a daunting task to some. To start herself, she took a writing course. She told friends what she was doing, enlisting motivational support. She narrowed her focus slightly, to only those stories and memories which mattered to her. This was instead of a chronological recounting of her life. And even then, she got stalled; life got in the way.

Her 50th wedding anniversary was coming up, so instead, she turned her focus  to organizing her photos, writings and memories around this event. She had a goal – the anniversary party – so she could organize her photos with the end goal in mind. The goal was to share photos and memories of their life of 50 years together. A focus, an audience (close family/friends at the party), and a deadline! Instead of  “someday,” she had a real date.

Melissa and her son, a web site marketing professional, designed an easy-to-update web site and he taught her how to add content. This gave her a way to share her memorabilia, as she went through the photos — and I’m sure our comments on the posted memories were inspirational to her. She created a community through her memories. She had focus. She had the support around her she needed.

Today, Melissa has a website with annotated photo albums, poems she’s written, her paintings and some writings. She is a creative sort, an artist, so organizing her memories in this fashion suited her well. Additionally, she is all about family, so having a web site where people could connect and write their own comments – well, imagine how that made her feel about organizing her memorabilia! So at this point, she has recorded many memories,  and if she wants to, she can give away the objects – the writings, the paintings – because they are all permanently recorded for the future viewers and new family members.

Where, how and when will you start … and keep at it?

Consider where you’ll work on your organizing of memories.

  • Do you need a special dedicated space or not?
  • Are you inside or outside?
  • Is it quiet or do you have music or other noise?
  • Are you writing? Recording? At a PC? At an art table?

And consider how and when you’ll organize your stories and memorabilia.

  • To get inspired, choose a time of day when you are most energetic or creative.
  • Think of other projects you’ve started for clues on how to start this effort.
  • Do you like to get into a project and stay focused on it for awhile?
  • Or is it easier to get started for a short period of time?
  • How you start and how you continue may be different.
  • Once you get going, if you find yourself feeling burnt out, take a break. Work on something else or just do nothing for a while. Come back fresh.
  • Decide whether you do or do not want to work on this alone. Some take classes (We are working on a webinar around this). Some work with family or friends in a group. Some prefer working on their own.

Look backward to move forward.  Decide what to keep in your story and what to let go. Think about what you want to carry forward into your next chapter of life.

If you’re interested in putting your life in context, please consider joining our Facebook group, located here

We are  sharing stories around themes, like food memories!

Sharing, so we can get a sense of what’s important to pass along … and therefore, what we can let go of.

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Posted in Memories, Next Chapter | 2 Comments »

Connecting our Values, Our Stuff & Our Family Stories

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

The things we save give shape to our lives and reflect who we are – our interests, our values, our activities, our relationships – to our families, our communities, and to future generations.

Your personal papers, memorabilia, and artifacts are part of a unique individual history.  Today, we document the culture people will read about in decades and centuries to come; history is about us, you and me, not just about famous people who did famous things.

Life in Context: Telling Your Story is a Facebook group dedicated to helping you discover what is important to you. My colleague Melissa Mannon of ArchivesInfo and I  started it as an outgrowth of our workshops together. People wanted to continue to share.

Tell your story, share in a like-minded community, and share your cultural experiences.

By connecting our “stuff” with our stories, we can start to figure out what’s important to keep or not. What’s important to share with cultural institutions, our families or the organizations we belong  to.

What we save takes on a broader meaning and so can be easier to let go.

Or, if we are  the informally elected “family collector,” as we learn the history of the objects, photos and papers we  become clearer about what we need to keep and preserve.

My latest post is copied below:

Four generations of women: me (the little one), mom, “Baba” (my grandmother who just turned 99), great Grammy Nichols, great Auntie Grace.
The baby? My little brother.
Baba & her mother were both widowed around age 50. And Baba also lost her father at a young age, rumored suicide – victim of the Depression.
We held three generation lunches for about 10 years, from the time I was in my mid-20′s: mom, me, grandmother.
4 generations
And the post which inspired mine:

Melissa Lowenthal Mannon

This is a photo of my grandmother and an unidentified little girl. I was named after this strong woman who escaped from Poland during WWII with my grandfather.
A story I remember mom telling me when I was young is that grandma dressed as a peasant woman and smuggled food and medicine into concentration camps.
I hope that I remember that properly because it has stuck with me for a long time and has affected me deeply.
The little girl in the photo may be my aunt, who did not make it through the War…so many stories are fading into legend through faulty childhood memories and unlabeled photographs.
I think I will celebrate Women’s History Month by working to get the bits of the story mom knows down on paper this month to make sure we document what we know.

Please join us !

Facebook community page: Life in Context: Telling Your Story

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Posted in Downsizing Dilemmas- Solved, Memories, Papers | No Comments »

The House that Mom Built: It’s not about our stuff

Wednesday, February 9th, 2011

The Back Lot

This is the story of how a person’s legacy can live on, in a unique way, though honoring all she stood for. And it’s about a house, too.

It’s a story of how we let go of the past, keeping what is important to bring forward into our next chapter and focus on the values of the person, rather than their stuff.

For six years, Donna’s family has been tied up in court trying to  build a one story home for their mom, who suffered from heart issues, diabetes and a slew of other health issues, even though she was only in her early 70′s.

Notice the past tense. She passed away 3 years ago tomorrow. And today, or perhaps tomorrow, what was to be her new home will be set on its foundation.

That’s the empty lot in the photo, behind where Donna’s father still lives. As he ages, family will be close by to support. The grandchildren will continue to have the special kind of relationship we have with a grandparent. If you’ve been lucky enough to have this special grandparent relationship, you’ll know how important it is. Both give us daily purpose, family history and stories, and help us enjoy family times even more.

I remember the first time a client articulated her fear of getting rid of anything from her favorite relative. Instead of saying what many people had before “How do I decide?” she articulated her feeling more specifically: “How can I get rid of anything of hers, without dishonoring her legacy?” Read that question again as you think about someone close to you who has died. Tough one, isn’t it.

We can say “Keep a memory box,” which we organizers do. We can “Take and keep photos.” We can suggest you think about the essence of the person and save just those items. This story is a beautiful example, albeit larger than life for many of us, of honoring the legacy, of understanding the essence of the person and delivering on it.

My friend Donna’s mother passed away three years ago tomorrow. Today, her mom’s house will be set on its foundation, a modular home. The home was to be mom’s, so that she wouldn’t have to deal with stairs into the house or up to her bedroom. They had become too much for her. This one story house was for her and her husband to move into, and located on the back lot of the family home she’d live in for all of her 70+ years. Doesn’t get better than that for taking care of our aging parents.

As Donna spent time in the hospital with her mom during her last days, a promise was made.

Mom was all about family, about taking care of her husband, her children, her grand kids, siblings and beyond. She exuded family and faith. You’d feel it you met her today.

The promise was related to the essence of who she was, her legacy in fact. The promise was for Donna to take care of her dad, and her brother & family.

The house waiting around the corner

The house waiting around the corner

And so, six years later, Donna’s building them a home, the same one her mom had chosen colors for and wood types for the cabinets.

A family gets a fresh start.

A grandfather gets more time with son and family and support as he inevitably ages.

And Donna delivers on her promise, which is her mom’s legacy. The essence of who she was.

It’s not about the stuff; it’s about who the person was, what their values were, what their priorities, how they lived their life — and how we can pass this along to the next generations.

And don’t think Donna’s mom wasn’t watching over them:

  • The house has been delayed – to the very day before Donna’s mom passed away.
  • Donna’s mom was a very strong woman, strong at her core and full of wisdom and faith. Donna is like her mom in these ways.  And the driver of the truck hauling the house to the site? Yes, a woman.
  • And today, as Donna’s brother and family get a new start, his wife celebrates her 40th birthday. What a gift.

The house will  take awhile before move-in date but as the house is set  today, people are moving on a bit more, beginning to close out a chapter, and bringing the best of that chapter forward.

And that includes honoring mom’s legacy, which is to take care of family. That’s what this all means.

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