Choices | Organize for a Fresh Start

Posts Tagged ‘choices’

Coaching for “Big” Decisions – for Me (part 2 of 2)

Monday, June 20th, 2011

Part 2 of 2: On coaching to make big decisions …. If you missed the part 1 post, click here — you’ll read the coaching questions which led me to these answers.

And so here, I share with you my personal list of “filters” –my decision criteria.

After I’ve gone through these, I sit back and reflect, because a checklist is never enough. Thinking and integrating still has to happen. Considering the answers altogether helps me next.

Business — Big decisions filter – when to reach out:

For on the spot decisions requested: slow down the process. “Let’s discuss all angles – what do we need here, all of us?” Or take it away to think about when I have more focused time.
If the dollar amount feels high.
If the commitment may take up personal time (balance).
If it would be a new, regular commitment (long term view of value)
If it is or feels out of my comfort zone — Never done before (or have I !? Sometimes I think I haven’t but I have.)

Decision criteria –Here’s where I start:

Time commitment. Does anything else go away in this time period to allow space for this?
What’s the possible revenue? Or what’s the expense involved (to compare with value)?
If it’s a class or some other learning opportunity, how will I apply what I learn. (I could be a full time student, so I have to watch the balance here.)
Which current or future business goals does this support & how?
Can I use this near term on a specific project? If for the future, can I do it then, closer to when I’ll need it instead?
Does this move the ball down the field? Worth giving up something short term for where I want to end up?
Does this play to my strengths? Can I do my best work, what I’m passionate about?
Can I learn something about myself?
And now, Sue: have you asked for what YOU need? Or are you simply responding to what’s been put in front of you.
Still not ready to decide? Then how could you change the game to get more of what you need.

I hope this will help you, if you get stuck on making big decisions or if you’ve been curious about how the organizer-coaching process could work for you.

Here’s to great decisions – or ones we learn from !

Certified Organizer Coach

Tags: choices, home office, time management
Posted in Change, Habits, Home Office, Inside My World | No Comments »

Coaching for Better “Big” Decisions – for Me

Monday, June 20th, 2011

A client once mentioned that “filters” were a useful way to make big decisions in business. My ears perked up.

I had recently made a couple of big decisions and reversed them after further thought and discussion with someone I trusted.

And then I started the second guessing we’re all familiar with sometimes. I knew I needed a new way to organize my thinking to make these big, uncomfortable, potentially risky decisions.

How could I approach these decisions with a new perspective and with more useful thinking? I turned to an Organizer Coach, not myself, but to a colleague in my advanced class.

I’m using myself as an example for two reasons (1) to illustrate the organizer coaching process without needing to change details to protect a client (2) because people often want to know that organizers are not perfect. (I admit to that readily, but sometimes an example is more believable!)

Our coaching process went something like this.

What made you think these decisions were initially not right? How did you first think about your answers?

*I have too much to do already and might get overwhelmed – then not do a good enough job with everything else.

What do these decisions have in common for you?

*New areas for me. Haven’t done that before. Not sure how to do it. Not sure if I have all the skills for it.

What other big decisions have you made in your life – which you thought turned out well/successfully for you?

*My junior year abroad decision in college. I almost didn’t go (fear) but talked with people who had gone before. I couldn’t pass it up after that.

I did the best I could, jumped and closed my eyes – thinking I could probably figure out what I didn’t know, or rely on friends again.

*Career choices – new jobs/my company. There was always someone gently pushing me to consider the new horizon – someone who believed in me a bit more than I did in myself right then.

*My new book. The publisher approached me based on my blog writing- and yet, for years, several people told me I was a good writer and should do something about that.

How did you approach making those decisions?

*I guess when I think about it, I talked to other people about the idea.

Found someone who believed in me a little more than I did right then in the wake of a big decision.

Talking about it got me comfortable with the parts I was nervous about.

They raised good points and questions to consider, so I had more decision criteria to use.

Became less about the emotions this way.

And with time, I realized that I knew more and had more skills than I’d initially thought.

And so, thinking about these recent decisions, what would have made you comfortable ?

*Talking with someone out loud. *And having some of those decision criteria to practice and use – to take some of the emotion out of the process.

Is changing your mind a positive or not, in your mind?

*Usually I don’t think of it as a good thing – that once you decide, that should be your commitment.

But here, changing my mind was a really really good thing.

So what criteria might you use? …. Read my next post for my new criteria ! Look for it tomorrow.

Tags: choices, home office, moving on
Posted in Change, Habits, Home Office, Inside My World | No Comments »

Five Ways to Get Back on Your Wagon

Monday, January 10th, 2011

This story is about how to get back on the wagon – my wagon being exercising at the gym. Take these ideas and apply them to get back on track with an important effort in your life – the organizing wagon, eating less or differently, money management, using a time management system that works for you at work. These all require a behavioral or habit change.

I don’t think of myself as athletic or being “in good shape,” which is the value I’ve always associated with the gym and with exercise generally. And that was the problem. Likewise, if you want to get more organized or downsize, what’s the value that this touches for you? Tied to value = greater motivation. My story below.

Sometime around my 50^th birthday, I decided that exercising was more about improving my health, and secondarily maintaining my weight. Although I was born with terrific genes in the health and wellness arena, I began to feel as if the genes might wear out. I’d been lucky the first half of my life. Maybe I’d better start doing something.

There was that and that it nearly killed me to carry in the groceries up the fifteen+ stairs. And the occasional back ache. So off to the gym I went, January 2009. Later in 2009, I fell off and got back on the old wagon.

Key success factors for me have been:

A small goal. I strive for three days a week, not seven or even four. Three. I know myself. Had I said more than three, the first time I fell off the wagon, I’d never get back on. I hope to increase to four, but I’m good with three for now. It’s more than zero.

Cutting myself some slack when life crises hit. My housemate went through knee replacement surgery, one and then the other, last summer. One week after the second one, my father suffered a heart attack and had quadruple bypass surgery. I KNOW that going to the gym would have made me relieve stress. I know my back would have felt less achy; stress goes to the weakest point. I know. I know. But adding one more thing to do to my list would have caused my head to explode. It’s a balance and I know myself best.

Remembering why I was doing this and what it felt like after a workout. How can you keep this in front of yourself? For me, having a housemate who goes daily helped because we would talk about her workout – even when I wasn’t going. I started missing that feeling. Strong motivation.

Putting it on my calendar again, to get myself back to a regular schedule. If I don’t plan for it, it doesn’t become part of my regular day. It ends up being extra. Something that I get to do IF work is done and IF the household’s all set. I try to make the gym (i.e., me/my health) as important as the household and my business. It’s not easy, but as long as the trend heads in the right direction, I’m good with that.

Using an accountability partner. It’s okay to ask for support. My housemate helps because I see what it does for her. A personal trainer when I first started at the gym got me motivated and on the right track in just a few sessions. Doesn’t have to be a long relationship. Sometimes it’s useful to regularly schedule something. Other times, it’s useful just to get a jump start.

The value of money: I am a person who always thinks about the value of something before I purchase. In this case, I counted the number of times I’d been to the gym in one month, and divided that into my monthly fee. Because of the way I think, realizing that each visit had to be “worth” $20 or so dollars was a motivator.

So – you can do it. Back on the wagon. See you there!

Tags: changing habits, choices, getting back on the wagon, Time, transitions
Posted in AD/HD, Habits, Harmony at Home | No Comments »

Less Stress Next Year at Holiday Season

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Want less stress at this time next year for the holidays?

Doesn’t it always happen. You realize you want to change something today, but by this time next year, who can remember what it was.

So we keep doing the same thing.

Try this –

As you move through this holiday season, notice and write down or record answers to the questions below.

Keep a recorder nearby – on your PDA, a small notepad, on your planner, or even your computer.

If you jot down notes as you’re going through the issues this year, then 11 months from now, you’ll remember what you wanted to prevent.

What was really stressful today?

You can’t solve a problem until you know what it is. It’s easy enough to say “Oh, the holidays are so stressful.” However, if you want to reduce stress, where could you start, with such a general comment?

For example, let’s say your notebook or recording tells you that today had too many last minute errands, then you could:

Spread them out over more days;
Start much earlier next year noting this on your calendar for November 2011;
Consider if you typically pack too much into one day; is that a normal pace of life, now made worse at the holidays?
Ask for family support;
Or even hire out to an errand services company, if only for the holiday season;
Drop a few responsibilities completely;
Create a half-hour in your day to relieve stress. It may be reading your favorite book in the morning. Getting ½ hour of quiet time at some point to rejuvenate.
Or making a commitment to keep going to the gym, even with a packed schedule – going, but fewer times a week.

So next year, you’d have at least the problems identified and could solve for them 11 months from now.

Or even more useful could be problem and solutions ideas for next year. Some people can quickly identify what would have made the situation better. Others need processing time. And others on tough questions may need other people’s ideas. Whatever works for you is the right answer.

This is also a great organizing topic for coaching.

Because of this exercise, you may notice your stress came from spending, so then you’d have a different set of solutions.

If we don’t stop and reflect, the whole day becomes one big cloud. And then we can’t figure out how to get out of it.

And the side benefit? You may learn new ideas to use throughout the year.

Other questions to ask yourself: What felt like an obligation and wasn’t enjoyable?

What or who wasted my time today – a precious commodity even more these days?

How much help did others give you today?

So what could you use to record your problems and/or solutions?

Notepad, PDA, sticky note, Organizer Coach time?

Tags: choices, Holidays, stress
Posted in Harmony at Home, Holidays, Time Management | No Comments »

“You just have to…”

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

Recently, I read a life coach’s blog in which most paragraphs started with the phrase “You just have to.”

Like that’s so simple. The phrase really turned me off. I made myself continue to read on in case the tone changed. (No.) I suppose it’s possible this is a marketing approach, that if you can’t “just” do it yourself, you’d call on this person.

But it made me wary of how that relationship would work. I can see the finger shaking, as if I’ve failed already. I wanted to hide.

I can’t imagine speaking to my clients (or anyone in my life, really) in this manner.

You just have to … find a filing system that works for you.

You just have to realize your children will grow up and leave the nest and figure out what to do next with your life.

You just have to realize you won’t make as much selling your house as you would have a few years ago …

You just have to move on after your husband’s death.

You don’t have to do anything at someone else’s pace.

Do it at your own pace. Stand your ground.

If you aren’t ready to go through your adult children’s rooms to clear them out, wait. Wait until you know how else you’d like to use that space. Remember your hobbies and passions before you raised your children. Create your own space in one of their rooms. But in your own time.

Or do it in stages. If someone close to you has died, it will be easier to go through some of their belongings than others. Try the easier stuff first, whenever you’re ready. Wait some time until you’re ready to go through more.

Have patience with yourself.

Grief takes it own time we know, and going through someone’s belongings is a useful but difficult way to process and think through some of your feelings.

Same goes if you are moving. Where you live now is filled with memories. Intellectually, you know you’ll make new ones. But give yourself time to pack and take those memory lane strolls. This is the hardest part, that in between stage where you’re going to have to rest for awhile, even if you want to push ahead to make the new memories.

Notice why you are not moving on or making any change.

It may be emotions you need to work through. It may be procrastination, or worry about taking a risk, or not knowing where you want to head next.

Have you been through this before? How long do you think is reasonable? Are you there yet?

If you’re past that point, take stock of what’s going on. Journal, create, talk to a friend, meditate. Slow down enough to notice why you’re stuck. Much of this about “noticing,” because noticing leads you to understand what the single issue that’s preventing you from moving forward. Often we are in a cloud of reasons. Break it down. Talk it out. Write it down. Sort it out.

And even when you ARE ready

Even when you are ready to go through mom’s things, or make your child’s room into a new space for you, or tackle the paper piles you may want outside support or structure.

If you want to get from point A to point B quickly, that’s a reason to hire experience.

If you have tried on your own and the stuff keeps coming back, that’s a reason to hire experience.

If you need a deadline, some accountability — that could be a friend, or an organizer coach, depending on the other skills you need to support you.

We can all read, anywhere and everywhere it seems, about “how to” get more organized. Tips, tricks and products.

What’s difficult is applying what you read to your specific situation. And it’s often more about how you’re wired and knowing yourself well enough to figure out which of all those organizing systems will work, consistently, for you.

So it’s really not “just” that easy, is it.

Tags: bereavement, choices, moving on, transitions
Posted in AD/HD, Next Chapter | No Comments »