Posts Tagged ‘choices’

Accountability in Organizing-What Do You Need?

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

A client recently told me “No offense, but I’m much more focused and productive when you visit my home versus coaching by phone. I’m more honest when you’re standing in front of me.” I didn’t take offense; she was being clear and honest and knew herself well enough to know what she needed.

Another client has hit a plateau with organizing; she’s achieved her initial goal, yet isn’t really sure she is done with her project. So here, discussing what does “support” look like at the next stage versus how we started out together is important.

And so is deciding when she is “ready” to go at it again. She needs a new goal to get to the next level where but is not ready until she’s ready. Sometimes, it’s important to be there virtually, just ” be there. ”

At work or at home, when you realize you’re ready for a change, think also about what type of organizer support you would do best with, as these two client examples show us.

Here are some questions to answer for yourself. Each approach has different time commitments, spending commitments and accountability to it.

  1. Maybe you need not hands-on support or coaching, but new ideas, and a fresh perspective from an outsider who has “seen it all” (or at least a lot).
  2. Side by side support to help you as you make tough decisions, not all decisions, but the hardest ones  you have to make. Maybe the rest of your house simplifying has gone pretty well, but you’re down to the toughest, often sentimental decisions. Or the decisions you and your family don’t quite agree on.
  3. Is organization a chronic issue for you? A daily struggle? There are organizing specialists in chronic disorganization. What is “chronic?”  You can listen here to a class by the Institute for Challenging Disorganization all about chronic disorganization, or download this free copy of the clutter-hoarding scale (from normal household’s clutter to a hoarding household). Our web site (I”m a subscriber and volunteer) also has a referral service.
  4. Do you have ADHD or another neurological/brain wiring difference you need to understand so that your organizing systems work better for you? Again, look for a specialist. That could be an organizer with specialized education in ADHD, or a  Certified Organizer Coach (much of our training was in organizing for those with ADHD or other brain-based challenges).
  5. If you were to work by phone with your organizer or coach, how well will you do with action steps to be accomplished in between meetings?
  6. Or are you someone who needs the in-person appointment to ensure you have a deadline?
  7. Do you need to have someone who can understand that’s it not about ‘the stuff,’ but whatever it is you’re going through or have gone through – a big life change, a recent medical or mental health diagnosis? Or do you want someone to do it for you (the latter is sometimes an assistant to an organizer).
  8. Do you need support to get back on track, only for the initial “getting things back into shape?”Something’s happened in life, a big life change, and you’re off kilter – it happens to everyone and impacts us all differently.
  9. Or do you need support to maintain what’s put into place?

So when you’re tired of the pain or the struggle, these questions will help you figure out what type of organizer expertise and way of working with an organizer you’ll need so that you can be at your best. And make a change you’ll be able to stick to.

Also discuss what you can do in between meetings. Your action steps in between meetings have several benefits:

  • You’ll learn even more about collaborating as you define the support you need from your organizer or organizer coach, asking and defining what you need to succeed;
  • You’ll get clear on how to break down your project into smaller steps – a skill which can be used anywhere in your work and home life;
  • You’ll feel more in control and more responsible for progress that’s made! I often ask my clients to brag about what they’ve accomplished, before we begin the new meeting. When was the last time you got to brag?

If your action steps do not end up getting done, a professional organizer will collaborate with you to figure out: Was it the steps we defined? Or how we defined them? Was it a time management issue? Was it a crisis that got in the way? Should the organizer/coach have been more supportive in between meetings? In other words, in our relationship, there is no judgment; it’s all about learning from what’s happened and integrating the learning into our next set of action steps.

Don’t let your organizer get away with not working with you on accountability; he/she owes it to you, as you learn or relearn valuable life skills. It’s part of our professional role.

Bouncing Back with a Butterflies Box

Friday, December 23rd, 2011

Been a grouch or a grinch lately? How do you bounce back from a tough day, a difficult conversation, that feeling we get sometimes as people or business owners that it’s just so … hard, sometimes. Here’s one of my ways. My “butterflies box.”

Each time I receive a compliment from  client, or a testimonial from a workshop host – anything positive – I print the comment, fold it up, and drop it in the box. Down day and I start unfolding and reading those messages.

 

Beautiful and graceful, varied and enchanting,

small but approachable,

butterflies lead you  to the sunny side of life. 

And everyone deserves a little sunshine. 

~Jeffrey Glassberg

 

 

I’m happy to say it is overflowing right now; you don’t see the pieces of paper next to the box due to photo cropping!  Occasionally, I’ve let a client know about this, and next  thing I know, they’ve invented their own version.  I will admit that with Twitter, my compliments organizing system may need some upgrading!

Women Inspiring Women

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Nashua New Hampshire’s Mayor Donnalee Lozeau spoke to Women Inspiring Women recently.  Witty, quick, down-to-earth and inspiring – a great speaker choice.

Below, some of my favorite comments from her talk – she was asked to inspire us with her tips for how she works/lives. Some, not all comments, are related to keeping life under control.

As she was asked to come up to the podium, Leslie thanked the Mayor – because of her busy schedule, to be with us, etc. – Mayor’s response? “We are all busy. Thank YOU.” Liked that a lot. A great start.

Soft skills – increasingly important in our digital economy. Soft skills: ethical behavior, listening, manners, meeting deadlines.

Her favorite three words (“And it’s not ‘I love you,’ she said) — “I am sorry.” It doesn’t mean you’re right. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong either.

We always have options (I call them options or choices – sfw). The key is having the strength to recognize and act on them.

Build great support or make sure you have it around you in your life. Make time to thank them. Good people, whom you admire and in whom you believe.

When  asked how she keeps it all manageable — She’s a list person. Has meltdowns like we all do (just depends on where you have them and with whom — so true!). The lists allow her to get everything out of her head (“keeps me off the ledge”). She also has a poster-sized Post-it note on the back of her office door to capture ideas!

She is aware that she sometimes needs to talk through things out loud to get to a solution. And her team knows this, too so keeps pace with her. (Really important to know about yourself: what’s your best way to process what’s happening. If you know that, you can use this strength to keep life under control.)

“Brain breaks” – important to a productive workday.

Final  words: “Imagine the possibilities.”

What’s The Magic Organizing Number? Two Answers for You.

Friday, July 22nd, 2011

One Rose

I get this question often as you might imagine. People ask it in different ways.

“Is there a magic number for how long to keep my things? A year or something like that?”

There are two ways I can answer: (1) It depends.  (A favorite comment, from a terrific radio show co-host you might listen to, who interviewed me with her co-host.)  And (2) Yes, we can  come up with your own magic number.

It Depends…

On what the items are. Couple of examples to walk you through it.

Clothing: Sure, yes, a season makes sense. If you didn’t wear it last year during this season, do you need it, want it, love it, still like how it fits and  looks? More than a season and it may go out of style – or your style may change, too, especially if your work or lifestyle changes at all.

Toys – kids/grandkids: If they haven’t played with it in a year? Sure that makes sense, unless you have another child who is close to the age for playing with the toy. How about looking at “aging out” of toys.

Store aside the ones which are too old for a younger one coming up the ranks. Keep them, but out of your “everyday space.”

And always, with clothes and toys (and other  items), select your absolutely favorite ones – those which are really full of memories. People have saved: favorite stuffed animal from childhood (clients in their 50′s), clothing from high school/wedding (clients in their 30′s), and so forth. So, not all items are created equally, right? That difference is often what simplifying is all about. Still hard but that is the essence.

Books: A year old? No. It depends. Again, the aging out idea can work here. Certain book topics age out – technology, engineering, medical/health reference, history to some extent – any area which has change as part of its goodness and value to us.

But you know what -  if you love to read, if you are curious, and a learner by nature- why give up what you love most of all? Yes, you can go through the books and see if any of there are any easy decisions you can make.

Think about whether you want to reread a book. Maybe instead, you want to give that one away, and  make space on your shelves for a new interest or new author?

But then … how about simplifying (weeding out) something else in your home, which is not as important to you and who you are instead of the  books?

Come up with Your Own Magic Number …That Works, Too

Some people need this and find it a very useful to limit themselves, in effect to take away some of the decisions by using a number.

Examples:

  • I’ll only fill one drawer with pants. I won’t buy any more than that.
  • I’ll only own two red blouses.
  • I’ll watch one hour of TV at night.
  • I’ll spend 1/2 hour on Face book in the morning.
  • I’ll only have two backup boxes of that kind of pasta.
  • I’ll carry one credit card.
  • Four bookshelves is my number.

See  how it takes away the need to constantly make hard decisions?

So, yes, sometimes there is a magic number – but it’s not my number.

It’s one that you need to feel comfortable with.

Try it  out with a few different  numbers and see how it works for you.

Keep/Toss. Now/Not Now. Buy/Don’t Buy.

Monday, July 11th, 2011

Sometimes, it takes awhile. Our choices in the moment don’t affect us until later.

The focus on now/not now, whether in life or at work, adds up and puts  us in crisis.

We add to our commitments, our shoe closet, our papers or our calendar – without taking out anything else.

We hang onto the past, keeping it all. When what we could do is add one new thing from the new chapter we are creating, and drop one thing from our last chapter. This can help us move forward, one small step at a time.

Each choice is a commitment, and, inadvertently or not, it’s makes that choice a priority.  Even if we didn’t consciously decide this new thing is a priority. It becomes one, nevertheless.

Here’s an article I found useful, about the author’s spending choices: comic books, books or getting out of debt – and how he  did it.

Favorite quotes from this article:

When you spend money on one thing, you’re choosing not to spend it on another.

Sometimes these choices are conscious….. Often, though, the decisions are quiet and subtle. At times, you’re not even aware you’re making them.

You don’t realize you’ve made a trade-off until after the fact.

When you choose to spend on one thing instead of another, the opportunity cost consists of the benefits you could have received by spending on something else.

Your priorities are the things you do, not the things you say you’ll do.

So my questions for you to consider:

When you say ‘yes,’ what are you actually saying ‘no’ to ?

Is  that what you really wanted?

Want or need? What’s the difference for you? Where’s the  line? How does this impact your calendar/spending/stuff accumulation?

Is there something in between “yes” and “no.” Or “now” and “not now.”

Thanks to Sherrill St. Germain, independent financial  planner, for pointing out this article to me.