It was fantastic and invigorating! With that, we’d love to address the CLARITY portion of our Design Your Days framework today.

Let’s start off  with some comments we often hear …

I am constantly flying around from one thing to another.

I’ll start something, but get sidetracked into a whole different project.

I have three jobs, how do I keep everything straight? I take work from one job to another, and I’m never quite done with anything.

I need to be more organized, more efficient, so I that I can fit more in.

 Do any of these sound familiar?

Continue reading our tips, or listen to our podcast by clicking here>> Design Your Days – with Clarity (May 2013)

As you know by now, we work with our clients to organize themselves around their own priorities- at work, at home, and at life.

Clarity is key.

Clarity is a word that reappears constantly in our work. Once you become clear about what you WANT from your time, it becomes far easier to let go of what you DON’T WANT.

So how do you gain clarity? AWARENESS is the first step.  

Become the expert on YOU.

Our first tip is …

1.  Pay attention to your stress level.

The key here is to get clear on the signals which tell you that you’re BEGINNING to feel stressed. Not that you’re smack in the middle of a meltdown or approaching one. The goal is to figure out earlier when you are headed down the path of stress. Some signals might be: barking at your kids or employees? Not sleeping well? Grabbing a bag of chips or alcohol  or a cigarette to calm down?

What are your OWN signals that you’re starting down the stress path?

And then also think about how you’d like it to be instead.  You might find a quiet place and breathe deeply, letting go of the stress, and thinking about what caused it. Pausing for a moment in the car after a long day often helps, before entering your home. Visualizing or feeling what you want the evening to look and feel like can help.

2. Talk and write, or write and talk.

When my days are full, I (Carol) MUST write down all my thoughts so they stop flying through my head. I use one of the following 2 methods. I write it all down on a blank sheet of paper with no lines. It feels more freeing to write on paper without lines. Or, when I am coming close to overwhelm, I write all thoughts, all projects, step by step (this step by step breakdown is key- task by task) on index cards so I can re-prioritize and re-shuffle as required. I have a pretty box I can then put my index cards into. Some of us prefer to process out loud (talk) to another person. We find clarity that way, and our priorities hit us. I like this method too, but I prefer writing, at least at first. If I choose to verbally process, it also helps if I am moving. Going for a walk with a friend helps with clarity on several levels.

So, what works for YOU to process what’s happening?

3. Try the “What just happened here?” approach. Think about a train going down the tracks. You know how it comes to a fork or a Y? There is actually a person who directs traffic, by flipping a switch; the train will then continue on or go off on that ‘side track.’ But it is on purpose.

YOU are the traffic coordinator of your time: So, find a way to keep track of what happens the minute before you get sidetracked. Become that switch flipper and make a CHOICE about which track to take.

It is in that moment of making your choice, that you will get CLEAR on what you want most: to keep on going or purposefully take that sidetrack.

4. “I’m never quite done with anything.”  Here, you’ll want to become more aware of what “done” really means.

Is a project or task done well enough for now? Did you take on something far bigger than you had time for? If that’s the case, start doing more chunking down of steps. A single step in a project is “done,” even if the project is not done. Is it that you never have the materials for the project you want to work on, where you want to work on it? Or is your awareness that it takes you too long to activate and move to start a task?

See how awareness is important? You need to know where the issue really lies.

5. And in our last example, the person says he/she wants to “fit more in.”

More of what? And is that really what you want, or do you have some decisions to make? About saying “no,” or dropping an activity – or at least sidelining it for awhile until you “free up more time to tackle it.” And THAT is why clarity about what you WANT from your time is so important.

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As a reminder, you are listening and reading our podcast series. We’d love your feedback. 

If you have a question you’d like answered, please visit our new Facebook page called Design Your Days. If you’d like to add yourself to the successful professionals we help go from good to great, contact one of us to get started with personal coaching. We’ll help you become more AWARE, and kick off the transformational process of Designing Your Days.

We are also the co-creators of the Design Your Days framework, which we teach in workshops, so if your group of business owners is ready for us to speak at your group, please contact one of us!

You can find us on Facebook as Design Your Days or contact us individually through websites: 

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.   Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

Carol Williams, another organizing coach and I  just lived this, as we presented our workshop to the Vermont  Women Business Owners’ Network at their Springtime conference.

Their welcome and their support, in my experience, was unparalleled.

Of a different kind, the support we received from two of our clients, who seemed to jump at the chance to be IN our presentation was absolutely precious and honoring. We can’t thank them enough. Nor can the participants in our workshop, for making this so real, tangible and useful – worth it.

“Thanks so much for a great workshop yesterday at Vermont Women Business Owners Network, Sue and Carol! I came away with some good tools to keep getting better organized.  I juggle 4 jobs and lots of volunteer endeavors so I need all of the help I can get….” — Megan Humphrey  Sweet Basil Cards

Carol and I both have workshops/presentations/classes as part of our businesses, so we can share broadly what we know, affect more people, and of course, make our businesses visible.

At a NAPO chapter meeting, Carol once asked me if I’d ever consider doing a workshop together. What we found in common initially was that we both know that organizing at work or at home is not about the stuff, papers, email … it’s about ourselves. What we are going through or have gone through. What our relationships and communications are like. How we take of ourselves. How well we know ourselves. And much more.

So that began a series of brainstorming sessions … 

… which led to:

• learning how to construct PowerPoint with two people involved;
• editing audio clips, a brand new skill;
• figuring out how to get the clients’ voices to be heard on our technical setup;
• working with our clients on their Q&A;
• practicing together but also separately to time our workshop;
• figuring out fun, engaging, creative ways to spice up the energy in the workshop;
• … and so much more.

And so began our road trip … the night before …

We both give but also get great energy from working with groups, and it turns out we work together very well as workshop designers  and presenters. Carol is high energy and gets groups going and motivated – ask us about her WOO HOO and how we didn’t need any practice with WBON ! I’m the reflective one with the calm energy, so I set up each of our reflection exercises in the workshop. You need both, right? Plus, I hope and believe our passion for what we do shines through and can be infectious to some degree.

Can I just say we had FUN as a group, too? Between our “invisible wall” of saran wrap signifying the negatives self-talk, should’s and all that ‘stuff’ that gets in our way, to playing baseball with fooz balls on stage, to saying WOOHOO and all the exercises we did together ! Our workshop is a different approach to so-called time management, where really, it’s all about you.

Graphic design: Hutchens Media

The workshop description… 

Design Your Days: Make Each Day Count

Is this you? You’re a business owner, among other roles.

• You’re going at full speed but not feeling you’re getting anywhere;
• You’re feeling stuck;
• You’ve reached a plateau and you’re not moving ahead;
• You want a fresh, creative look at how to manage your time and design your days;
• You know what to do … you’re not doing it though. You’re in your own way sometimes.

By the workshop’s finish, you will be on your way to transforming that “stuck and overwhelmed” feeling into a feeling of renewed energy and motivation. During this session, we will show video clips of women business owners like you that were once stuck and are now inspired, empowered, and enabled; climbing to their next level of success.

Results you can expect: New or renewed inspiration, motivation, and a clear action plan; Identification of  your  desired result and several concrete steps to  attain your result, after learning our proven Design Your Day process; Real practice with a portion of our Design Your Days toolkit.  This begins to catapult you into your next level of success; a true realization that you’re not alone and you, too, will find success. You will hear real stories from our clients and experience their journeys first –hand. As they have designed their days to reach new levels of success, you will begin to design yours.

Contact me at Sue@OrganizeNH.com or Carol at Carol@efficientproductivity.com if your group might be interested in hosting us.

And on our way home …

…when we debriefed, made more plans, and shared insights and expertise. You know how fast those 2 hours went by!

And so now, we are looking forward to the post-workshop coaching sessions to hear more about how people are doing and what they have learned since the workshop! How will you design YOUR days, so they count?

Follow Design Your Days on Facebook!

In all instances, your own accountant or financial planner has the final say, i.e., overrides these reference sheets. Everyone’s particular situation and history is different, so please err on the conservative side and listen to their advice.

Several helpful resources:

From Bankrate.com – the reference sheet I most often use

Financial Files You Can Toss – Kiplinger article

IRS records advice

In the “Papers” category of my blog, you’ll find articles about how to organize and manage what you DO keep.

As always, if it’s all too much, or generic advice just doesn’t do it for you, just email or call to talk about how we might collaborate.

The problem is about more than simple fatigue. It’s that our day starts later than we wanted it to, we get less done, have less energy, and on top of all that, we sometimes beat up on ourselves for not getting enough sleep, enough done or enough self-care. Physical, mental and emotional fatigue. And then we’re not there for ourselves or for those around us.

We are not our best.

Meredith Bohn Interior Design with Greg West Photography

Here is my  list of suggestions for winding down. Take what has worked or you think might work for you and leave the rest. Or feel free to share with someone else having sleep cycle issues.

Whether you’re earning an income or working to keep the household and family running, these can apply to your life.

The idea is to give your body some signals or habits,  so your mind and body wind down, allowing for calmer and easier sleep cycles.

• Clear the mental clutter.  How do you mentally close out your day? You need a way to leave behind the tasks you didn’t get to today, the ones that cropped up during the day and the ideas you want to return to. Create a way to get these out of your head and into a trusted capturing device.
• If end of day sneaks up on you: About a half-hour before then, set a reminder to begin getting into “personal” mode or “home life” mode. It’s a different focus,with different people, and a different rhythm so begin shifting your energy.
• Take time with meals: This may mean that you need to plan out some meals a week ahead of time or at least a few days, so you eliminate some of the rushing and have a more relaxed dinner time.
• Decide on a “no technology” time zone:It’s proven that technology keep us alert (dopamine increases), so how about if you shut off all technology about 8 p.m. ? Have a good, old-fashioned “quiet time.”
  

  Meredith Bohn Interior Design-Greg West Photography

• Set an intended bedtime. You may or may not make it, but if you don’t have a time set in your head, you have no goal to aim for. Hours will  slip away.
• Watch no violence after 8 p.m. If you enjoy TV, consider the noise/vibration/activity level of  shows you’re watching. Active shows won’t help you relax your mind.
• Nighttime/morning routine swaps: Take a few days to notice the patterns or routines  for both evenings and the  mornings. If evenings feel stressed to the max, is there one routine you could move to the morning instead? Or handle once or twice a week instead of every night?
• What calming activities do you use?  Music, reading, hot tea, a walk after work – What sorts of activities help to calm your mind? Are you doing any of these at night ?
• Check the lights. Do your curtains need to be a darker color? Do you remember to close them at night and open in the morning?

Julie Pelletier-Rutkowski, of Feng Shui Services of New England, has some Feng Shui principles and advice about setting up your own bedroom in her blog post titled “Fish Tank Head Board and Feng Shui.”  I attended her class recently and learned some great ideas.   

To me, Feng Shui is a way to encourage good and positive energy to flow throughout you home and  your life. Pure and simple. Check out her post or her classes.

• I am always late.
• I never seem to be able to get to my most important goal. I am too busy.
• I try, but I keep hitting roadblocks. Maybe I am not “cut out” for this.

Carol: Hi, this is Carol Williams, Productivity Specialist at EpS, Efficient Productivity Systems.

Sue: And this is Sue West, Life Transitions Coach and AD/HD specialist. We have joined together for this series of audio interviews to give you short, “use today” pieces of advice, in 5 to 8 minutes.

Today’s is called “What’s Your Plan B?” but first …

Carol: We’d like to share some exciting news, in case you did not catch the last podcast.

Sue and I are rolling out a new workshop called DESIGN YOUR DAYS. Just 90 minutes with us will set you in the direction for your work and personal life that works for YOU. Our first Design Your Days workshop will be at the Hampton Hotel in Colchester, VT near Burlington, on May 2 and is part of the WBON (women business owner’s network) which is a statewide, Vermont business organization. We’d love for you to attend so watch our blogs or social media sites for information! Click here for their site.

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To listen click here >>>  Self Care April 2013.         

To read our advice, just continue on in this blog entry.

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Sue: Onto our podcast tips. Our last two podcasts focused on Self Care. This can be the root of many productivity issues. When we don’t sleep well at night, when we allow our exercise routine to take a back seat for an extended period of time, when we allow others to set our priorities- we neglect ourselves. Keeping this point at the top of mind will subconsciously allow you to begin turning it around. The next question to ask yourself is- what’s getting in your way of making a little progress?

1. Do you have to “have enough time” to write the entire book, and know exactly what you want to say before you begin?
2. Do you have to have all the right cleaning tools before you begin organizing that spare room?
3. Do you feel so overwhelmed by cleaning your home that you think, why bother? It will just get messed up again and I don’t even know where to start.

Sue: Thanks, Carol. That sounds little like perfectionist behavior to me.

To our listeners: Has anyone ever called you a perfectionist?

Perhaps you don’t wash your car because you don’t have the right wax and you really want to wax it at the same time, and by the way the sun will be setting soon anyway, maybe I should just catch up on some reading instead?

Perfectionism often leads to procrastination.

It’s time to shift our thinking. Try, what’s my plan B? If I don’t have the right wax, so what? Can I wax using what I have? Can I wax just half of the car? Won’t that be better than nothing? Or when can I go to the local car place and get them to do it for me!

Carol: OK onto some tips! Let’s think about re-framing your attitudes- to help you succeed:

Think of one tiny step you could accomplish toward your big goal. For example, if you know you have trouble sleeping, and you think you need to go to the doctor, and can’t find time to call, can’t find time to go to an appointment, don’t have the right insurance, what could you do instead? Could you find 15 minutes per night to meditate right before bed, try that for 3 weeks and if no improvement then take another step? The key here is thinking about what you CAN do vs. all the reasons you CAN’T do something. Those little steps could be called Plan B.

I want to send my kids to camp XYZ but I don’t know how I will get them there or how I will afford it. What can be plan B? Could you begin to look into the other options? Could you write a Facebook post asking other parents to do a “round robin” home based camp with other kids their age in your area? Time to think creatively. Let go of “it has to be this way” and watch new answers start coming your way.

********************************

As a reminder, you are listening to a podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.

Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

“Self-care” — I first heard this phrase a few years ago in my coaching program. And then there’s “Extreme self-care” which I first heard of from my co-presenter Amy Medling, a health coach, and which I would apply to times of crisis, life changing events or crazy busy phases we sometimes have. My latest podcasts with my colleague Carol Williams focus on self-care and how to create time for it.

Today, I’d simply like to share ideas and questions for you to come up with your own definition for taking care of yourself.

A list of ideas can spur one’s thinking. This is my list, nothing official, just from work with clients and on myself.

Body:

• Are you seeing a primary care regularly – medical, naturopath – whatever your choice.
• What age/stage of life are you … and what issues are likely to crop up for you? What are you doing to plan ahead so you’re not in crisis?
• Nutrition/eating: acknowledging and honoring allergies, tolerances, weight and energy even if you’re the only one in the household with these issues.
• How important is walking, exercise, or movement to you to your health and to your mental health? (Yoga, dance, seasonal sports)
• Awareness – through meditation,visualization, body scans or yoga.

Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.

Jim Rohn

Mind:

• Meditation
• Reading
• Connecting with the outside,  in nature
• How do you clear your mind to stay focused?
• What techniques do you have for letting go of difficult conversations or emotions?
• How do you keep track of all you need to keep track of in life and in your work?
• How confident are you in your home or work systems which help life run smoothly for you?
• How do you open your mind to learning and curiosity so you’re always growing?
• How much do you take from the work you do: does it drain or add energy or something in between? What’s next?
• What roles do you have; which are you comfortable with? Which do you need more support for?
• What professionals are in your life to support you? Therapists, coach, respite care, trainer, medical/health experts, babysitters, etc.. Who is on your team?
• How do you deal with anxiety or similar challenges?
• Have you dealt with old feelings – family dysfunction, divorce, grief – or are they getting stuffed? How could you deal with these once and for all? What would that do for you?

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to pray in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.

John Muir

The Spirit of You:

• What do you do for friendships you want to strengthen? From taking a 1/2 day off together to dinner out to mini-retreats away from it all.
• What do you do for fun? What did you used to do? Is there enough in your life today?
• How accepting of yourself are you? How demanding? Does this feel balanced and realistic?
• What do others say about you? Do you believe it?
• Are you the person you want to be?
• What gives you joy; how often do you take those opportunities?
• What makes you laugh? Are you doing that often enough?
• Who are you not getting enough time with and how could you change that?

 It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.

Oprah Winfrey

In each area, where are you now ?

• Do you have the knowledge or ideas you need to get started yet?
• Contemplating getting started but not sure how to begin?
• Can’t even contemplate – too much to think about.
• Beginning to think about creating time for one or more changes.
• Already in some form of ritual or routine but difficult to keep up.

If you now listen to some of our self-care podcasts, you’ll get ideas for how to work self-care into your days, how to get started, how to make the time and much more. Each podcast is audio and also written out in the blog; each lats 5-8 minutes at most and typically has 4  key suggestions to focus on.

Go here to begin listening. All podcasts are in the category called “Perspective Podcasts.”

If you’d like a one-on-one discussion or coaching around creating time for your own self-care, please call 603.554.1948 or email Sue@OrganizeNH.com

Sometimes, one call is all it’ll take to process ideas for where to start. If you’re working on new habits or behaviors, it’ll take longer.

When Carol Williams and I last joined you via podcast or this blog, we asked you some questions:

• What gives you energy?
• What drains it?

And then we gave you a way to set priorities for what you want to start with for your own self-care, plus suggestions on how to “get started” or get “un-stuck.”

Once you begin SOMETHING it’s easier to KEEP GOING. The momentum carries you along, while you wait to get motivated… because sometimes we just don’t have the motivation! (And for even more on THAT topic, see my blog interviews with Begin with Yes author Paul Boynton.)

• Tell a friend, coach, or partner what you intend to do MORE of or LESS of.
• Ask that person if he or she can receive a call or an email if necessary.
• Simply saying your goal out loud, and announcing it to another person will build in accountability and work its way into your subconscious.

Sue: I often use the phrase “Path of least resistance.” Tip #2.

Let’s say you want to start  going to the gym in the morning or walking. The path of least resistance? Get EVERYTHING ready the night before: lay out your clothes or pack your bag, get your work outfit ready, too, and the music you want to listen to. Go to bed a little early.

Take away any reason you might say you can’t go when morning comes.

Grease the skids. Path of least resistance. Figure out your phrase to make it EASY to move ahead.

Grease the skids.
(Last photo of winter – promise!)

 

Carol: Your shared intention is this: You want to walk each day at lunchtime, but you are accustomed to working through lunch.

Tip #3: Try the “if/then” technique. Our brains are wired to receive this message.

“IF” I am tempted to skip my walk, THEN I will call Betsy and ask her to come with me. As you can see, it’s helpful to have a support team here. Betsy can be your accountability friend in tip one, or someone else.

 

Sue: Last tip #4: Attach your new habit or ritual to one that ALREADY works for you.

For example, read through your mail and paperwork during the time you make dinner, while you’re waiting for something. Or while your children are doing THEIR homework, do your paperwork.

Or support the habit in ways that have worked for you before: You used to count points on Weight Watchers and record them; how about recording how well you’re doing with your exercise habit each day?

 **********

In closing, we have some EXCITING NEWS to share.

Carol and I are rolling out a new workshop called

DESIGN YOUR DAYS: Making Your Time Count.

It’s for women business owners who struggle with time and energy management. Staying productive in life and in your work.  What’s different about this workshop? This is about finally figuring out how to design your days in ways that work for you. Not what someone else tells you should work. But working with us and our DYD framework to figure it out with you and for you and how you think, work, and handle what comes your way. Is this you? If so, please  join us in Vermont, contact me or Carol, or watch for upcoming workshops and a retreat.

• You’re going at full speed but not feeling you’re getting anywhere;
• You’re feeling stuck. You’ve reached a plateau and you’re not moving ahead;
• You want a fresh, creative look at how to manage your time and design your days.
• You know what to do … you’re not doing it though. You’re in your own way sometimes.

Our first Design Your Days workshop will be at the Hampton Hotel in Colchester, VT on May 2 and is part of the WBON (women business owner’s network) which is a statewide, Vermont business organization. More information is available by clicking the WBON logo below or here at this link: Annual spring conference.

As a reminder, you are listening to (or reading) our podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

 

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.

Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

 

We ended the last article with how to get un-stuck, where we all are sometimes.

One of his suggestions is to create small, “doable steps,” and then say “yes” to taking one step. The smallest step can give us momentum and inspiration to continue putting one foot in front of the other, and pretty soon, we’ve accomplished our goal.

Some days, it’s all about putting one foot in front of the other, and some days that’s ALL we can do.  A key is to define the step to be so small that it sounds easy and feels easy to do.

This discussion is about:

• Forgetting about motivation and finding inspiration instead;
• What to do on a ‘bad day’ to move on despite it;
• How helping others helps us.

1.     In your book, you talk about finding inspiration instead of motivation. So often, we hear ourselves saying “I just need to get motivated for this task, but I can’t.” How does inspiration work for us instead of trying to find motivation?

This is such a great question, and one that lots of people ask.  It’s so easy to wait to be motivated, when in reality we can take one of the small steps even when we‘re not feeling it!

Waiting for motivation is really just a socially acceptable excuse to stay stuck, and some people can wait for weeks, months, or even a lifetime for motivation to come knocking on the door.

Don’t stand by the door waiting; take a step outside and see what you can discover.

Many times real inspiration to move forward comes simply from  the realization that we don’t want to stay where we are one more moment.

A beautiful quality I admire in many people is their willingness to “do it” before they feel it. It’s ultimate tenacity of the human spirit that touches me. We all have it – Sometimes we just need to dig a little deeper to find it.

My mantra is:  Be afraid, but don’t be stopped.

Be confused, but don’t be stuck.  Be worn out, but don’t give up.

 You’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

And often, just remembering this is all the inspiration you’ll need to get started.

2.     Many of us have difficulties when we try to move beyond the bad day that seems to be shaping up for us. I love your approach: ask a lot of questions and the power of questions. Talk about the questions and their power, principle #5; how does this work so well?

The truth is, we all have bad days, difficult stretches, heart ache and heart breaks. It’s just part of life.  That said, the simple truth is, we are each really a lot more powerful than we think, or give ourselves credit for. I am always reminding people how far they’ve come and how many challenges they already survived.

I’ve learned whenever I am in lost in the forest, I need to ask myself   “Now what?” The answer isn’t usually a complete map of the path to a better place but it’s at least the next step. And as I take that step, I feel a bit better and the next one comes a little easier. And after awhile, I discover that I am out of the woods.

Anything else you’d like to add or share?

When all is said and done, our lives are up to us. We can choose to move through our days without really declaring (and owning) our passions, purpose, and our right and need to be happy and fulfilled or we can step up and begin to make things happen.

It may seem easier to stay put emotionally, creatively and productively, and wonder “what will happen?” But it’s so much more fun to co-create with the Universe and make something happen.

And finally as it turns out, sharing the journey with good people is really more important than arriving at any special destination.

And the best way to attract good company for the trip is to be good company yourself. Helping others achieve their dreams will add so much depth and meaning to your life and appreciating and thanking those who help you will add so much joy.

****

That wraps up my series with Paul. So, think about these questions: What’s the best idea you’ve taken away from Paul’s comments? What can you use, starting today, to help you in your life and business?

What could you practice with? And what difference will that make to you?

****

What comes to mind when you think “self-care” anyhow? Are you taking yourself to checkups? Are you working out? Are you taking your vitamins? Sleeping at night? We call all of the above “self-care,” and more; everyone’s definition will be different, but we have suggestions, of course.

Listen to our suggestions here >>> Self Care ………. or read our tips below.

So, when do you know you are NOT taking care of yourself?

Carol: My favorite example was when I was home with my first baby. It seemed like it took us FOREVER to get out the door. I truly could not understand how people made it outside before noon. Once, when he was a bit older and I was getting my routines down, I thought I was doing great. Everything was packed, everyone was dressed and ready, and we were headed out the door. Much to my dismay, I looked down and realized…..I was in my pajamas. I had truly forgotten about ME! That’s an extreme example, but indicative of what happens when we are in need of self care…we find ourselves putting EVERYONE ELSE FIRST, thereby cheating ourselves.

Sue: Our first tip is to start small. If you want to get back into shape for the spring and summer and have had a sedentary winter, take just 15 minutes to walk. Sure, you will increase that number over time, but if even 15 minutes seems “too much” it’s a great place to start. Just start.

Carol:  Our second tip has two parts. First, Until you get “on top of” your self-care in ways you want to, here is a useful question to answer to get yourself through tough times. Make a list with two parts:  Part one is …  What gives you energy. What gives you peace. What brings you joy.  A “list” can be on paper, on your pc, talking it out with a friend or coach or partner – but make it something you can add to and go back to when you need to. We also have an idea about index cards you might use … in our last tip. Sue, what’s part two of this tip?

Sue:  Part 2 is …  what takes away your energy; what drains you? See how you have both sides? So when you’re feeling out of control, go and FIND more of what GIVES you energy: client examples are: support groups, talking to a friend, taking a longer shower , having 10 minutes of silence at some point during the day, hugging your dog/cat/kids more than usual, closing your eyes and staying in the moment longer, getting outside. And also look at the other side: can you work 15 minutes less each day; not go out to dinner with that complainer of a friend. What are the ways you can protect yourself in this somewhat fragile state?

Carol: When you “want to change” many things, so many that you do nothing, and end up feeling paralyzed, do this: write out one of your “wants”, each one on a separate index card. Spread them all out on a table. Pick the one that speaks to you most loudly. Start there.

And remember from tip one, start small. Just one step. For example if you want to eat more healthfully, resolve to add one more serving of vegetables into your life each day. Just one.

As a reminder, you are reading and listening to a podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends. Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

I took his advice and decided to say “yes” to asking Paul Boynton to be interviewed for my little old blog. And he said “Yes.” (Read more about Paul, his book and his work as a “human services CEO” at this link.) 

There is so much in his interview that I’m breaking up his answers into two blog posts, to give us time to process and maybe practice some of what he says.

His interview is a lovely and practical transition out of my February theme of “life balance, whatever it means to you” to my March theme which is all about self-care.  I believe you will find that his approach fits in well with saying “yes” to ourselves, something many of us don’t do often enough, whether we realize it or not.

For those who have not read your delightful and practical book, Begin with Yes, can you briefly explain your philosophy or approach, and what the title means?

The title of the book actually reveals a lot about the content, and gets to the heart of my philosophy or approach to living an authentic and purposeful life.  The word “Yes” speaks to the need to be open to possibilities and the word “Begin” speaks to the need to take action.  In other words, it’s good but often not good enough to think positive thoughts; we also need to roll up our sleeves and actually do something.

I believe that the “Law of Attraction,” at least as many people understand it, falls short. To me, focusing on a desired outcome in what can become a self-absorbed, self-centered way seems a bit out of sync with how life really unfolds.  And it somehow seems to ignore the need to actually take responsibility to make something happen rather than waiting for it to magically manifest.  “Begin with Yes” encourages us to look outside of ourselves and find a balance between making our dreams come true and helping others move their hopes along.

I also recognize that it can be difficult to always feel positive or optimistic – especially during difficult and challenging stretches or transitions. “Begin with Yes” puts the emphasis on taking very small steps forward no matter how we’re feeling and believes the optimistic feelings will eventually fall into place.

“Our individual views – our realities – which we sometimes represent as the way things are, are really just the way things seem to be to us at the moment.” 

Tell us more about why it’s important to understand this difference you articulate.

The truth is, we are each creating our own realities all the time.  We interpret what’s happening around us in ways that make sense to us, and then we forget that it’s just our interpretation, and begin to think it’s the absolute truth.

Once we realize this is what we’re doing, we can begin to feel a little lighter about the “realities” in our lives. More importantly we begin to understand that since we’re creating our realities, we may as well create ones that lift us up and help us move forward.

Here’s an example:  It may be a reality that you can’t play the violin. However it’s also a reality that you could if you rented an instrument, took lessons and practiced. Which reality you choose is up to you, and your choice makes a world of difference.

Principle #9: ”It’s a thousand little ‘yeses’ that make life-changing things happen.” 

Say more about what these ‘yeses’ are and how this works.

The “yeses” I write about are really the small steps we need to take to move from where we are to where we want to be.  The reason the concept of small steps is so important is because it’s not only the most practical way to make things happen, it’s the only way.

The distance from my home town in NH to the West Coast is 2578 miles.  From here to Paris its 3440 miles, and from here to India only 7694.  No matter how we choose to travel,the only way to get from here to there is to begin.  And the best way to begin is with yes!

I know how easy it is to get overwhelmed by big goals or big problems and when we’re overwhelmed it’s also easy to get stuck. Not knowing where to start, we tend to stand still, and as we stand there, nothing much happens. The good news is that we can get moving again simply by asking ourselves, “What’s one small thing I can do today that will move me in the direction I want to go?” Answer that question, and then take that small step.

Instead of putting things off because the distance is too great, put a little energy into one of those small “doable today” steps. And by taking that small step today, you’ll wake up tomorrow that much further along.

And never forget that sometimes the smallest of actions, in retrospect, becomes a pivotal and significant life-changing moment.

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That’s the end of part one of two parts to my interview with Paul Boynton. Please subscribe to this blog or watch for posts on my social media sites to read the second part.