This is a mindset that is keeping people locked in one spot, functioning, but not living. Once you start seeing life as an adventure, everything changes. You will believe in yourself and in your skills and you will put them to use for something meaningful & fun.*

My theme this month has been life balance. This quote is a beautiful reminder.

How often do people tell me that they barely have time to handle regular work and household and family responsibilities – never mind the “higher values” of life, the things they would do on their adventure, as Anne-Sophie says it.

Often!

I’ve seen a shift over the past few years in my client base. More and more people are focusing on how they’re using their time.  Are they getting done what they want around their house,  to make it a home they’re proud of? What are they getting out of their time? How much is about their priorities versus others’ ideas of what their priorities should be? Is it all they want out of life?

More people seem to feel they have their “things” under control, except when a big life change occurs sometimes. And now they’re more focused on their time.

There are so many techniques and tricks and strategies to organize your life and to get things done.

But the first question is: what do you want from your time?

**Quoted from a guest blog by Anne – Sophie Reinhardt over at The Change Blog, a personal favorite.

Not sure where to start? Try time management coaching with me (by phone or in person, locally). First 1/2 hour is a no charge session to experiment, meet each other, and see whether there’s a fit.  After that, one session at a time, as we together figure out how you’ll measure progress and success. Click here for info, email Sue@OrganizeNH.com or call 603.554.1948.

This week, my blog post has gone visiting – over at the blue giraffe. The blog starts this way just so you’ll know what it’s about. Then click the giraffe or the beautiful hammock picture below to read the rest.

The good news is that reorganizing is cathartic, not just for your physical stuff, but also for your internal, emotional or psychological ‘stuff.’ “

You can also click on this relaxing picture Wendy chose to accompany my article.

Wendy blogs about Interior Design, Redesign, Home Staging and Lifestyle and we first connected through mutual  colleagues – and over the topic of life transitions more recently, when she wrote a beautiful article on the topic.

What a great question. The answer is a mixture of psychology and technology, as are many organizing or productivity issues.

First, good for you, for blocking time for  a project – an appointment with yourself and your work. Great way to make progress on the big projects as well as the day-to-day work.

Technology suggestions

1. Save the “files and information clients have sent over email” to your hard drive, instead of dragging into an email  folder. I often use the “print to PDF” option, which provides a permanent record. This eliminates going into your email program, which I agree, is quite distracting! You could do all of this gathering of info the day before you plan on working on this; that would ensure you have everything you need, and would mean you could dedicate a bit less time the next day. Smaller bits of tasks are easier to wedge into a busy schedule.
2. “Your current email  downloads.” During  your two hours of project time, stop the “Send and receive email” option (Outlook option).

Psychology/habit suggestions

“Client and family situations that need ‘immediate’ attention.” Immediate is in quotes, which either means the other person thinks the need is immediate, or you consider the needs immediate.

1. Break up the request. What does the person really need immediately? For example, it could be acknowledgement that you have the message and that you’d get back to him/her later today. You may want to explain that you are at work on a tight deadline.
2. How long does “immediate” mean here?  We’re talking about the person waiting two hours to hear from you. If it were that much of a crisis, needing attention in less than two hours, wouldn’t the person have called you instead? What would happen if you hadn’t seen the message until later in the day? These are questions to answer to help you think through whether this is truly immediate and therefore needs to break up your two hours.
3. If this sort of thing happens often  enough that it’s bugging you, start noticing who these interruptions are from. Is it the same person, with personal requests? A discussion about work schedules would be useful. Is it the same client? If so, a 5-10 minute check-in which you initiate would be helpful; the frequency would depend on how important the client is to your business (profit-wise, for the time they take up).
4. Learn to triage: If the other messages are all from clients, filter through them. Which need to be answered or acknowledged before you begin your two hour work session? Which need to be acknowledged after the two hours? And then block time to get back to all of them at once, or add client communications to your “next actions” list. The key here is to unclutter your mind but keep track of what you need to do.

Stop, pause, breathe. Realize the choice  you are making; that’s the key.

Also key as time passes is to notice patterns, of what interrupts your work. Who interrupts your work. How much comes from you and how much comes from others. What is the true urgency and what or who is the source. When you observe these patterns, you can change them. As a teacher used to say, though, ” The devil’s in the details.” That’s one reason the patterns are so important to observe.

Or maybe you picked up your child or grandchild late, because the conversation you were involved in was so fascinating. Or you wanted to do “just one more thing” at work.

Starter Strategies – Designed to get you started figuring out your own solutions

1. Talk to yourself. “Am I doing what I want to be doing right now?”
2. Have a clear picture of what’s waiting on you next, or who is. Example: “If I don’t get to playing the piano with my daughter, because I’m still doing this, is that okay?”
3. “If it’s out, I’ll remember to do it.” If you say that sometimes, try writing out a note, ideally in a bright color you’ll easily notice. On the note, write your top three things to be done today or your daughter’s name if you’re picking her up somewhere. Or if at work, put her picture right in front of you, as a reminder to pick her up at school.
4. If you often say “Oh, I hear what you’re saying,” consider keeping a timer with you wherever you are, a timer with a sound you know you’ll pay attention to. I tried using the sound of ocean waves on my Outlook reminder and I just ignored it. I use the dainty and quiet beeper on my Time Timer and that works like a charm.
5. Race yourself: If a little pressure helps you stay focused, use the Stopwatch feature on your phone. Knowing that clock is ticking away so quickly can help. Or race to finish your task, while something else is  going on that is timed, i.e., in the two minutes it takes for your cup of tea to warm up, finish up the task you were working on.
6. Sometimes self-talk doesn’t work. You don’t or can’t stop to notice when you’re stuck. Try using triggers which are “external,” meaning outside your brain/body: a friend calls you at the time you need to start moving for your next appointment; your Time Timer; blocking access to Facebook after ‘x’ minutes have passed. These will also train your brain so eventually, you’ll do this on your own.
7. Time map tracking: For two days, write down what you do about every 1/2 hour. Don’t change your actions; record what’s happening now. The goal:  to figure out where the issue is for you.

Some of these are solutions. Some are suggestions to help you become more AWARE of what the issue is. Awareness is where it all has to start,  isn’t it.

 **********

The most popular topic in coaching lately? Time management. If these ideas were useful, learn more here. I always have a 1/2 hour, no charge consultation, where you get real value for the time you spend with me:

“Insightful. You hit it right on the nose.” “I hadn’t even thought about that; what a great question. Let me think…”

I’m working with several clients on time management during their child’s last year of high school as the parent begins to think of their own next chapter.

This book has come up several times as recommended by clients so I thought I’d share it with you.

If you missed the post that explains all this, go here first.

I’ve discovered a new and more immediate use for a vision board. Creating time for fun and life balance.

I was visiting my terrifically creative sister-in-law, Joanne Hus, a creative design professional and as I walked into her oh so gorgeous home office, I noticed her life balance board right away.

After looking at hers, and hearing about her board, I realized that I was missing something.

Vision boards remind us of who we want to be. Or what we want more of in life. Boards have favorite sayings, pictures, values, and words of inspiration. They are inspiring, as is the process for deciding what goes on your vision board. My vision board is discussed here.

What was missing for me? Something more immediate that would help me with life balance. Although I love my “work,” what is it that makes my non-work hours so special, so interesting, so enervating? What do I do with my time off? What will refresh and rejuvenate my energy in between vacations, or as I work towards those loftier vision board ideals? Or how do I take smaller steps towards those vision board ideals? Enter Joanne.

This is a picture of my new life balance “board,” along with (upper right) my supplies: scissors and post-it note flags. 

Not as filled up or beautiful as Joanne’s is YET, but it’s already working for me.

I adopted the idea from Joanne, who showed me her magnetic white board version when I stayed with her and my brother recently before an author’s talk I was invited to give in Connecticut.

I noticed she had some sense of a timeline on the board. The time seems to go from left to right, so the later events, where she had more time to get to are further to the right. See the post-it note flags on my board? That’s also adopted from Joanne as a way to highlight when the exhibit is over or when she wants to think about going.

A  natural way to match how we read, left to right. And a nice mixture of left brain and right brain!

I’ve tried so many ideas over the years to remind myself of what I want to do.

Remembering to look at it

You still have to make the connection between wanting to go somewhere and getting yourself there. What I love is that Joanne’s is right near her computer and so her calendar. As she walks into home office/studio, she walks right by this board, before she can sit at her desk. A visual reminder!

Mine will be hanging in my home office, since that’s also where I do my household management and scheduling for my personal life.

Stay tuned… but so far, it’s working!

Microsteps

• Find your board – poster board, magnetic, white board
• Grab your scissors
• Get your post-it note flags or cut up your post-it note pads
• Find a spot to gather and hold onto things you want to do
• Start it up!

Or are you thinking that this is a great use for Pinterest? This article (link here) is about vision boards, but think about this approach for life balance.

Resources/more reading I enjoyed

How do you refresh and rejuvenate? In Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking the author points out that how we refresh and rejuvenate is linked to how much of an introvert or extrovert we are. Introverts will generally find their energy again by seeking out quiet time and space. Extroverts get back with people to build up their energy again. (This by the way is the true definition of these two terms, not “shy” versus “gregarious.”) And as with all labels, we are a mixture of both.  (It’s interesting to me that when I read a book, I watch my world with a different lens or perspective for as long as I’m reading that book.)

From a favorite site, The Change Blog: 5 Items that should be on everyone’s bucket list

Vision boards on Pinterest – but consider using Pinterest for your life balance board instead.

Need ideas for hobbies? Discover Your Passions – a quick quiz might start you thinking.

“We understand that life changes can be difficult. It is our goal to provide you with a community to help you better handle these life changes through education, as well as community that offers mental and emotional support that is practical and helpful.”

My latest article, Newly Single (Again): Who Deserves A Place in Your Life? offers advice on how to decide who deserves a place in your life, and I use the word “deserves” quite on purpose. Post divorce or after being widowed, there’s a long transition period. At some point in that period, you may find that certain people are not a positive energy for you to be around or they react in difficult ways.

So if you’re in need of advice and ideas for dealing with a life change, check out The Life Change Network on Twitter  or Facebook or stop by on the website.

If you haven’t been by my website in awhile, signing up for the newsletter sent every 6 weeks gives you a free copy of  my advice on “Organizing & Life Changes: 10 Suggestions for Organizing through Change.”

What is perfect?

What would be progress be?

What is excellence? Perfection? Same, different?

What’s the self-talk going on?

What are the consequences of procrastinating?

The advantages and disadvantages? Write down more than one; go a little deeper.

What’s the smallest decision you need to make here?

What’s your attitude about doing this task? How could you get more out of it?

How could you dispute or argue with your beliefs  about this?

What if you didn’t wait for motivation or inspiration and just got started in one small way? The smallest and easiest step would be… ?

What’s your energy around this? How could you shift it? Could someone else help you shift it? Who?

What are you most afraid of? Play out the whole scenario. Write it out. Sometimes writing it out will take the chill off.  Or write it out and then argue with your procrastinator voice. Make up a new voice.

What’s tedious about this? How could you make it less tedious?  Maybe not fun, but less tedious.

What does this project have in common with other times you’ve noticed you’ve procrastinated?

How big or small does the task feel? If small, how could you make it more important? If big, how could you diminish its size?

Who are you trying to please or get approval from and why someone other than just yourself?

What’s the one “big thing” you don’t know? What can you do about figuring that out, to some degree?

What would happen if you: gave it a shot, tried an experiment, drafted something in pencil, could take back everything  you tried?

With thanks to Sandy for finding this, a new favorite quote:

Remember – “The best angle from which to approach any problem is the TRY-angle.”-anonymous

And this phrase, from Sandy: “Rethink What You Think.” As an answer  to procrastination.

Need to rethink what you think? Move on from procrastination? Coaching with me may be just the thing.

Just before my international professional organizers’ conference of 850 attendees, I was reading Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking. It’s a fascinating, insightful, unexpected look at the introvert/extrovert facets and tendencies of our U.S. culture, the writing  backed up by research, but quite readable. ‘

So here I was, reading about this topic, as I thought about conference:

• How would I handle a roomful of 850 people. What great energy, but would I get lost in a sea of faces and conversations.
• How would I find people I needed or wanted to connected with?
• How would online/social media relationship translate in person?
• This educational conference is useful but how could  I get the most value out of it for the money and time spent?

And then a sentence popped out at me from my Nook book:

“One new honest-to-goodness relationship is worth ten fistfuls of business cards. ” (Quiet, page 263)

More and more, I’m realizing in our fast  paced world, the context I hear or read information in is crucial to (a) absorbing the point and (b) using what I’ve just read/heard.

So what did this mean for conference?

Communities give context and strengthen relationships. My communities at conference and what they meant to me were:

• My Coach Approach colleagues – because when you’ve  coached each other in small groups, you create stronger relationships. And since there are only about 40 of us in the U.S., we share something  unique, too;
• My Institute for Challenging Disorganization colleagues – our membership is about 10% the size of NAPO (worldwide, NAPO is 4500-5000) – because we focus on the whole person, including the mental and physical health aspects, collaborating with related professionals when the client desires it. Our focus on chronically disorganized individuals  strengthens our empathy, patience, creativity and indeed, our wisdom in what we learn from our clients;
• My organizers’ chapter colleagues -  because some of us are on the Board together, and because all of us attending represent a piece of geography at  this large conference;
• My author and blogger colleagues – for the love of writing, connecting, sharing and learning from each others’ writing;
• My Twitter and Facebook colleagues I follow, support and tweet with who have broadened my horizons outside of my geography, and know how to concisely pull out the essence of the sessions we attend!

So for you, when faced with a large  group or wondering what value you’ll get: volunteer during the year or at conference to find your communities; take classes; get online if it makes sense for your business.

Make your world smaller but with stronger relationships. It’s far more fulfilling than those “fistfuls” of business cards.