Archive for the ‘Next Chapter’ Category

Perspectives Podcast: Life Balance – Two Tips to Practice

Saturday, February 23rd, 2013

Carol Williams and I return this week with two practical tips to stay on the uphill side of the so-called balance seesaw. (Or at least in the center!)

We’re purposefully giving you two so they are easy to practice with.

If you’d like to listen, please click this link below. All our podcasts consist of short, “use today” pieces of advice, in 5 to 8 minutes.

If you’d prefer to read our suggestions, read on. It’s all here.

Audio: LIFE BALANCE – 2 Practice Suggestions

 

Carol: Our first suggestion today – and it’s really a request – is that you become your own observer or eye-witness. Learn about yourself.  Notice when you’re at your best; when you are feeling “on top of things.” Are you then in “balance?” During this time, what does your life look like? What do you have for breakfast? How many hours each night do you sleep? Who are you with, or not with? How much are you working, and what type of work are you doing? Are you reading in the morning? Exercising? Meditating or doing yoga at some point? How often do you stop and pause to appreciate how your day is going? Or to tell someone you appreciate him or her?

 

Sue: To do this, and to come up with your own list, have a discussion with friends. Or write about our answers to these questions. You’ll remember them more easily, and then when you’re feeling off kilter, you’ll return to these strategies and bring them in again.

 

Carol:  And here’s our second tip.

Accept that not every day, or week, or month, is perfect. Learn from those imperfect days, but do not berate yourself when you wish that things had gone differently. There is good reason for the motto “tomorrow is another day.”

 

Sue: My life and business coach once said to me: It is FINE to have high standards for yourself. It is NOT fine to beat yourself up when you don’t meet them.  Jason Womack tells us “Practice makes comfortable.”

 

Practicalities: I always try to remember that whatever did not go well must have been some lesson I’m supposed to learn. I may not know what that lesson is for a long time. When I was a project manager, we were taught to always have a Plan B. Because things do go wrong or are sometimes just out of our control. But if you start out with a Plan B, your expectations are different. Easier to switch gears. You have a safety net or an alternate plan when plan A does not go as expected.

And a practical pick me up when that’s all that will help: Years ago, I started keeping a “butterfly box.” When I’d have an iffy day, and couldn’t shake the feeling, I’d open up a small box on my desk (pictured). It was beautiful, with a glass knob for a top, and butterflies all over the box. It had been a gift for a presentation which had gone really well. So inside, just picture lots of little, folded up pieces of paper. On each one was a compliment from a client or a colleague about something I’d done for or with them in our work together. I’d open a few of these and end up with a smile. Now, I keep a Word document, in a special place on my PC, and it’s always open – just in case I need a pick me up.

 

Carol: So that’s it for our TWO tips today! Remember – be your own observer as you move through your days. And accept that life is not perfect but we’re supposed to learn from all of this – somehow, some time!

 

 

As a reminder, this is a biweekly podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.

And for links to other podcasts, just go to the Perspectives Podcast category at the right.

Book Reviews – Organize for A Fresh Start

Monday, February 11th, 2013

As one reviewer said, there are no “magic pills.” Much of organization comes from within ourselves. We can work with someone to pull out what works, what hasn’t worked and possibilities for sticking with whatever systems are put into place this time around.

It is a partnership, because only you know “you.” That’s true if you work with one of us privately. It’s true if you coach with us, or if you read a book. It and we have to resonate with you, for this to make a difference in your life.

So this may or may not be the book that resonates with you. I hope it is. I’ve assembled some reviews to give you a specific flavor for what’s inside.

 

Sue West

Certified Organizing Coach

Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization 

In my early 60′s, I had just been laid off and wasn’t sure about what to do next. This helped me to think of the next chapter instead of only the last chapter of my life, that something was beginning and not just ending.I also made the connection between my space and stuff and what was going on, that making physical space for something new helped me to open up and allow the new things to come into my life. Most of all, it’s a mindset shift.

**********

I loved the author’s story about the “rusty nail” she hangs her keys on. This approach of the rusty nail is a metaphor  for how the author approaches organizing systems. Rather than begin an organizing book with “perfect” solutions, this book is about organizing in ways that are useful and practical in everyday life. If a rusty nail is what you have and will work for you, then that’s what you do.

 

**********

Let’s just say that this book was just what I needed.  Nothing can do the work for you, but when I was faced with a mountain of overwhelming responsibilities, Organize for a Fresh Start gave me just enough help to stay sane. (Or, at the very least, somewhat sane.)

*************

This book is not just about organization, but it’s about getting a fresh start, beginning a new chapter, for example if you’re expecting a baby, or if you’re getting, or recently got divorced.  I really appreciated this because I was divorced a couple years ago and I was starting over. This book is not only about removing physical clutter from your life, but emotional clutter as well.  There are motivational exercises to help you organize, like filling in blanks, creating goals, visualization. There is no one fix for everyone regarding organization. It’s about finding out what works for you.  I do like the organization tips in the book. The author goes from room to room giving practical advice. She’s a professional organizer herself and knows her stuff.

***********

I admit I have a few books on getting rid of stuff and organized and have made great progress. This book takes a different view that for me makes a lot of sense to me. She has you look at where you are in your life and what your need are going to be in the future. It is not just start in this drawer and count out this many socks kind of book.

All through this beautiful book are highlighted in blue little quotes that stick with you reminding you that there is no perfect way to do this it will be different for each person. She encourages you when you get burned out and just want to throw up your hands.

I love her no regrets question list on page 101. I have been in a pitching mode and gotten rid of things I so wish I still had. You will have a holding area for things you need time to see if it is right to let go or hold on to it. I like that she doesn’t boss you around she is gentle in her suggestions but very effective.

My office is the worst in the house and I am starting there with my boxes and positive attitude that where m life is right now it just makes no sense to be keeping about 50% of what sits there unused. She mentions and I have found one I have a donate box it is best to put it in the trunk right away out of site so I don’t go reconsider. There is a reconsider place and anything not 100% sure will go there for a time.

I highly recommend this even if you like I have started and are making progress with other books, this one adds new insights that are truly helpful.

***********

However, Organize for a Fresh Start, Embrace Your Next Chapter in Life was just what I needed for now. Can you imagine suddenly having to organize and completely pack up the home of a deceased family member, while also having to weed through the contents of a large storage facility, while also moving out of your own apartment while moving into a new house — which also required that I accomodate the household belongings of yet another family member?

Can’t imagine it, eh? Well, neither could I, but I still had to do it. Let’s just say that this book was just what I needed. Nothing can do the work for you, but when I was faced with a mountain of overwhelming responsibilities, Organize for a Fresh Start gave me just enough help to stay sane. (Or, at the very least, somewhat sane.)

**********

This is a well written book which is designed in a way that helps a person who is not organized become organized. I have gotten books before on organizing that, after I have read a few pages, have found there way into a stack of books never to be read again. I am using this book and I know where it is.

The book starts out with a premise that intrigues me. The premise is that organizational skills are tied to life changes. This is and was new to me. Most books on the subject just look at the organizational skills themselves rather than life circumstances involved causing the the need to organize and reorganize. Basically you either are organized or you are not.

The first chapter, “Live Your Life in Chapters”, talks about how organizing is an evolving process and representative of growth in our lives. It takes what for me is a chore and turns it into a positive affirmation of the growth I experience in life.

The book then looks at key factors to organization such as determining what to keep and what to throw out, where to store items, how to make efficient use of space in a room. It does this in the context of where a person is in his or her life and really helps a person to define what his or her needs are at the moment, knowing these will change over time.

The book also acknowledges that people reading it may not be organized and helps people like me get over my inability to be organized. It talks to me rather than lectures me.

The book has a great appendix with nine tools to help a person get and stay organized such as a room tour questionnaire which helps a person look at a room from a different perspective and a section on how long to keep records.

The best thing about this book is the layout. The book uses white and blue ink to make certain sections stand out. The type size is large enough to read without a problem and changes when important information is being used. The book is easy on the eye.

The designer did a great job. If this was done in black and white type with small text I would have resisted reading it. The author’s words combined with the book’s great layout makes me want to pick up this book.

This is a great book for people who have tried other books on how to organize but lost interest. This book has kept my interest and so far two rooms are better organized thanks to this book.

**************

For those who are facing a new chapter in their life and need a gentle voice guiding them on the approach to moving forward. Many folks are just stuck and cannot move forward because they do not know where to start. This book will help, in baby steps, how to proceed with decluttering and organizing. I recommend this book for anyone who has never organized his/her environment and as Dr. Phil says, “needs a soft place to fall.”

**************

More info – More links

Read a chapter

Table of contents

Purchases (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other sites; paper or Nook/Kindle/other e-reader available).

 

 

 

Fresh Starts – My Interview at “Oh, So Organized” with Linda Samuels

Friday, January 25th, 2013

“I didn’t realize how much was happening in my life until I told you what the last few years have been like.” 

“I’m stuck and can’t figure how to move on – plus, I don’t know what’s next. “

A feeling

… of needing to simplify, reorganize or let go of the past is often the result of some big life changes a client’s been through. She’s coming out the other side of these changes, and wondering what’s next. A wonderful way to blend the last chapter of her life with what she wants for her next chapter is to reorganize – Things,  Thoughts, and Time.

  

My blog this week takes you over to “Oh, So Organized!” with my colleague and friend, Linda Samuels, where I’ve answered some questions for her, on the topic of life changes, transitions and moving towards a fresh start.

 

These are her questions for me. The blog is here for my answers:  Ask the Expert: Sue West

  • You’re an expert on helping others navigate life transitions. What is your favorite tip for negotiating uncharted territory?
  • Fresh starts can be enervating or draining. What are a few strategies to help minimize overwhelm?
  • A clean slate is an opportunity. How can we prepare physically or emotionally to experience positive results?
  • Do you have a philosophy about new beginnings?
  • What has been your biggest personal challenge around second chances?
  • Is there anything you’d like to share about fresh starts that I haven’t asked?

And read the comments on the blog, too; to me, they add so much to this interview, making it even more useful with different perspectives.

Who is in this Ask the Expert series –  a word from Linda

“Last year the “Ask the Expert” feature was introduced on The Other Side of Organized blog! It quickly became a big success as we enjoyed inspiring conversations with industry leaders such as best-selling author Gretchen Rubin, time management guru Julie Morgenstern, and organizer and coach extraordinaire Denslow Brown. For 2013, the interview series continues with another dynamic group of experts. I’m thrilled to begin this year with author, coach and organizer, Sue West to share her wisdom about fresh starts.”

 

Please join us over at Linda’s this week !

 

 

 

 

Ready for more, after the blog interview? My book about fresh starts is available here: Organize for A Fresh Start: Embrace Your Next Chapter in Life.  Read a sample chapter and the table of contents to see if it suits your needs. Or organizing & coaching services – together! Coaching in our organizing meetings or purely by phone – that’s the piece that helps the new strategies stick.

Suspend Reality for Just a Minute, Would You?

Thursday, January 3rd, 2013

As you read the following statements, suspend reality for a few minutes to think about the possibilities.

Open up to your dreams, just a little bit today.

You may have a fresh start waiting for you.

What would life be like….?

If you didn’t have all that ‘stuff’ without homes, piled up on your kitchen counter or table?

  • So that when you wanted to create a family dinner, you didn’t need to clear off the table each night? You could just make the meal and sit down.

If you didn’t race around, embarrassed when you constantly show up late for business appointments, or to friends or events? You’re the person nobody ever expects to be on time.

  • Is that the person and the small business professional you wanted to be? How would it be if you were always on time; how would that make you feel?

If you didn’t have to feel you needed to apologize when friends came over or someone dropped by. Or maybe you’re avoiding the apologies by not having people over – your friends, your grandchildren, or their friends.

  • What would it be like if you could entertain more often,  enjoy the spontaneous drop-in friend, have your book club at your house?

What would it be like if you had an organized office for your business, where you knew projects were under control?

  • You could find what you needed when that favorite client asked a question. Where you didn’t feel like you were wasting time looking for files or PC documents. Instead, you were living the dream you created for your business?

If your ADHD – or your partner’s – were less of a third wheel in your household? If it wasn’t always about the ADHD at work?

  • How would it be if the two of you figured out better ways of communicating, organizing your days and your home, so that you both felt stronger and better about this diagnosis? So that the ADHD was there, but just not such a major player in your home or with your chosen career.

 

What if …

  • you had the skills, strategies, systems and habits to make this all work better for you?
  • you weren’t worried about being out of sync with who you want to be?
  • you could move on?

 

This might be your year – or it could be – for a fresh start. Blend what you love about last year with where you want  to head this year, and really make it work this time.

At some point, you hit that place. You realize you’ve done as much as you can do on your own. You are okay with inviting in some assistance, expertise and outside perspective because you’re really committed to making it work this time.

Take a chance on yourself. Be open to the possibilities. I’d love to work with you on that – organizing, coaching or both together.

 

 

 

 

Not sure you’re ready yet?

Try my book – Read a sample chapter here.

Keep reading the blog; I post weekly. You may need more time to make a change.

Listen to my podcasts with colleague Carol Williams at this link:

Or call for organizing and coaching prices to work together.

Blog Action Day Post: “The Power of We” – A Caring Bridge

Monday, October 15th, 2012

The Power of We  — a celebration of people working together to make a positive difference in the world, either for their own communities or for people they will never meet half way around the world.  Blog Action Day brings together bloggers from different countries, interests and languages to blog about one important global topic on the same day.

For those of you who are taking care of a loved one who is ill, due to aging or illness, my post  is written to encourage you to ask for support and build a community, a lifesaver to help hold you up until you can do it on your own again.

I’m asking you to believe in the power of we, that building a community around you will carry you in ways you cannot imagine. My blog post is a personal example of  individuals creating a community of caring, not to make a significant social or economic change, but an emotional and perhaps spiritual change in life.

I was part of a virtual circle of support for someone who was gravely ill. Many of us suggested they use CaringBridge* to make it easier to provide updates to all of us – or that’s what we thought the benefit would be.

 

Witnessing the power of we  (I am only quoting examples of what the two of us wrote, to protect privacy of others involved.):

  • Healing/Faith
  • Gratitude
  • Education
  • Inspiration
  • Moving On

 

Healing/Faith

“There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something, tomorrow.” ~Orison Sweet Marden

People posted according to many different healing and faith belief systems. We happily opened our minds to believe that all ideas were welcomed here.


This quote at right I posted when we weren’t sure if she would shine again. I believed the energy from all of us would help her break through those clouds to shine.

So is that healing for my friend, or faith and healing for me? Yes. Both.

 

Gratitude

Particularly early in one’s illness, it’s difficult to be grateful for anything. But with a community around you, even a virtual one to complement the one that is with you and nearby, you’ll be gently reminded of what you can be grateful for.

As one person would write about gratitude,  the gratitude wave caught on and ebbed and flowed through the community, with many inspiring posts.

“On this day – the fourth of  July when the country is celebrating, we, too, are celebrating the love you have for each other; the support surrounding each of you as you travel this difficult journey; the caring that is being sent your way to help you travel this road.  Take one small step at a time – celebrate the positives- we are traveling with you in spirit -”

Imagine being on the receiving end of thousands of posts from your virtual community. Not ones to answer, but just to take in as support.

 

Education

A singular focus.

Once the diagnosis was made, there were posts about similar experiences, suggestions, paths to follow, web site links to educate and so forth.

And education for all of us, about what was happening, what was true or not true. When a particular part of her body was not functioning the way it needed to, we were invited to focus our prayers, rays of hope, quotes, inspiration, good thoughts and healing powers that part of the body.

Asking for help, very specifically. The body had no option but to listen to the power of we!

 

Inspiration

Music is my oasis. So many song lyrics remind me of you all these days. Today’s are from Cris Williamson’s “Waterfall.”  ” I’ve been dreaming in the sun; won’t you wake me up someone ; I need a little piece of mind. Wake me from this dream that I have dreamed so many times; I need a little piece of mind. Oh, I need a little piece of mind.”

Sometimes we don’t need advice. We need inspiration or soothing words. One creative person wrote poems. I posted quotes, music lyrics or just my own words to inspire, sometimes for the one who was ill; sometimes for the partner and caregiver.

New definitions of ‘what is.’ New reasons to laugh. New lovely traits. New things “we know.” New strength each day. New perspectives, new ways to get through the days, to share, and to be. A precious time.

 

Moving On

One step at a time

An illness often goes on for weeks or months. Your community members may shift a bit. Some are best at being there during the initial crisis and then slow down. Others are afraid perhaps of the crisis, but show up after, when a steady stream of support is needed.

Cherish both because each will help you move on to the next day, or the next medical complication to wrestle with, or onto rehab or to home.

Moving on becomes a series of small steps, taken a day at a time, so the journey doesn’t feel quite as overwhelming and you keep up your energy.

Think phases, steps or chapters of time and you’ll feel less overwhelmed.

You are, together, a beautiful model of mindful care-giving and friendship, as you shift into your new roles. Congratulations to all of you on a significant step forward on your journey of hope and recovery. All my best for another good day today.

… the roller coaster metaphor – sometimes one has to take a step back to gain the momentum for the continued journey forward – like a sprinter who leans on the back foot just before running as quickly as possible to the finish line – - for you – the finish line is a return to a healthy form – keep running for the finish line – we are all pushing and routing for you and sending lots of love and positive energy so you can both finish the race victoriously -

 

The power of we: We could read it. We could feel it in the energy as we read other people’s posts. We could see it once we were able to visit our friend again.

And importantly, we have this with us in our hearts forever.

I imagine many of us, strangers before this, are still processing and embracing the impact of this experience. After your crisis is settled a bit, ask your friends and support system how they experienced all of it; you may be surprised at the good you did for others, even as you slogged through a difficult time.

And sometimes, that’s a gift on its own.

What lies behind us and what lies before us

are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

******************************************

Resource: *According to the CaringBridge website “Think of us as an online space where you can connect, share and receive support – kind of like a personalized “caring” social network. Thanks to those who donate, we are available 24/7 to anyone, anywhere at no cost. We offer: CaringBridge Sites,Our personal, protected sites make it easy to post health updates during any type of health event. Family and friends visit the site to stay informed and leave supportive messages, and SupportPlanner. Our SupportPlanner is a calendar that helps family and friends coordinate care and organize helpful tasks, such as bringing a meal, taking care of pets and other needs.