You forgot to pick up your child at school. You forgot where you put your leftovers from the restaurant  meal (found them in the dishes cupboard). You forgot to get back to that client you promised to call today. You spaced out on several things this past week.

When you’ve been through a big life change, this will happen and it will happen a lot; but there are  ways you can minimize these  times which make you feel like you’re losing your mind.If you have ADHD or anxiety or both, same – there are ways.

Read on for some suggestions if this sounds like you. Whether  it’s a temporary state or a daily struggle, here are some suggestions to smooth out the rough edges.

Use a list – even if you don’t normally use one.

During times of high stress, like preparing for, during or after a big life change or event, your energy and mind need to focus on what’s happening to you or the person you’re worried about. You’re appropriately distracted,so don’t beat yourself up over doing the right thing.

Start a list (or your digital equivalent) and keep it with  you, all the time. Write down all the small stuff, as well as the big stuff. If it’s not  on the list, it doesn’t get done – your new mantra.

Times of stress, by the way, are high at times of transition. By transition,  I mean those times when you need to add something to your life.

This will mean – and we often let  this slide  by unwittingly – that we need to fine tune our time management or other organizational systems. For example, you’ve just agreed to sit for your grandchild. Or you’ve gone back to  work after taking care of your children. Or your child is diagnosed with a medical condition. Or you’re waiting on test results.

Use your alarms, reminders, egg timers, Time Timers.

Use any auditory alarm that can pull you out of the task at hand  and remind you to check  your list and see what’s up next. The reminder serves as a trigger of how much time has past – which is another issue we run into when anxiety or stress are high, or for  some who have ADD. Think of the reminder as your gentle teammate who guides you onto the next thing you need to be  doing, another support team member.  And don’t forget – most auditory alarms will let you choose the sound you want – ocean, chirping birds, meowing cats, ducks or your favorite song. Make it humorous; you need it if you’re going through lots of change.

Talk it out.

Talk to an outsider -  friend, a coach or a counselor about the life change or the ADD/ADHD. Settle that part of what’s running around inside your very busy mind. Start working out your feelings on this front and your anxiety will decline. You’ll learn new coping skills.

With a lower anxiety or stress level, your memory will hold more and do a better job for you. You’ll go from the “deer in the headlights” to … well, you fill in the blank, so you know where you’d like to head.

Self-talk

Yes, talk to yourself to keep yourself focused. If it works for you, then say it out loud,  getting  it out of your head. Sometimes  there’s so much up there that it feels like a jumble of a 1000 piece puzzle. Let some of the pieces go, by talking to yourself. Let others go by using your lists,  too.

The self-talk – Choose a phrase to get yourself focused, some phrase which is positive and builds your  confidence. “I can do this. I know I can.” “Stay focused. Stay here.”

Does your time match with what you want from your time?

Every day for a few days, take a look back on your day. How did you spend it? What was fun and valuable about that day? If that’s a hard question to answer in the positive,  how can you change your time management to reflect what’s important to you? Get in sync with your values, what you stand for, what’s important to  you – at least a little bit each  day.

I’d be curious to hear how you keep track of things  when you’re going through a big change or high stress time.