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Change Your Sleep Cycle & Change Your Days: Here’s How

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

Many people have trouble shutting off their fast-working minds as they transition from their day to their evening and to sleep time. This happens to most of us at times of high stress, life changes and is a common issue for people taking ADHD medications among others.

The problem is about more than simple fatigue. It’s that our day starts later than we wanted it to, we get less done, have less energy, and on top of all that, we sometimes beat up on ourselves for not getting enough sleep, enough done or enough self-care. Physical, mental and emotional fatigue. And then we’re not there for ourselves or for those around us.

We are not our best.

 

Meredith Bohn Interior Design with Greg West Photography

Here is my  list of suggestions for winding down. Take what has worked or you think might work for you and leave the rest. Or feel free to share with someone else having sleep cycle issues.

Whether you’re earning an income or working to keep the household and family running, these can apply to your life.

The idea is to give your body some signals or habits,  so your mind and body wind down, allowing for calmer and easier sleep cycles.

 

  • Clear the mental clutter.  How do you mentally close out your day? You need a way to leave behind the tasks you didn’t get to today, the ones that cropped up during the day and the ideas you want to return to. Create a way to get these out of your head and into a trusted capturing device.
  • If end of day sneaks up on you: About a half-hour before then, set a reminder to begin getting into “personal” mode or “home life” mode. It’s a different focus,with different people, and a different rhythm so begin shifting your energy.
  • Take time with meals: This may mean that you need to plan out some meals a week ahead of time or at least a few days, so you eliminate some of the rushing and have a more relaxed dinner time.
  • Decide on a “no technology” time zone:It’s proven that technology keep us alert (dopamine increases), so how about if you shut off all technology about 8 p.m. ? Have a good, old-fashioned “quiet time.”

    Meredith Bohn Interior Design-Greg West Photography

  • Set an intended bedtime. You may or may not make it, but if you don’t have a time set in your head, you have no goal to aim for. Hours will  slip away.
  • Watch no violence after 8 p.m. If you enjoy TV, consider the noise/vibration/activity level of  shows you’re watching. Active shows won’t help you relax your mind.
  • Nighttime/morning routine swaps: Take a few days to notice the patterns or routines  for both evenings and the  mornings. If evenings feel stressed to the max, is there one routine you could move to the morning instead? Or handle once or twice a week instead of every night?
  • What calming activities do you use?  Music, reading, hot tea, a walk after work – What sorts of activities help to calm your mind? Are you doing any of these at night ?
  • Check the lights. Do your curtains need to be a darker color? Do you remember to close them at night and open in the morning?

 

Julie Pelletier-Rutkowski, of Feng Shui Services of New England, has some Feng Shui principles and advice about setting up your own bedroom in her blog post titled “Fish Tank Head Board and Feng Shui.”  I attended her class recently and learned some great ideas.   

To me, Feng Shui is a way to encourage good and positive energy to flow throughout you home and  your life. Pure and simple. Check out her post or her classes.

 

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Posted in AD/HD, Caregiving, Change, Habits, Harmony at Home, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Self-Care: 4 Strategies to Push through Perfectionism & Procrastination

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

Sue: Does this sound like you?

  • I am always late.
  • I never seem to be able to get to my most important goal. I am too busy.
  • I try, but I keep hitting roadblocks. Maybe I am not “cut out” for this.

 

Carol: Hi, this is Carol Williams, Productivity Specialist at EpS, Efficient Productivity Systems.

Sue: And this is Sue West, Life Transitions Coach and AD/HD specialist. We have joined together for this series of audio interviews to give you short, “use today” pieces of advice, in 5 to 8 minutes.

Today’s is called “What’s Your Plan B?” but first …

Carol: We’d like to share some exciting news, in case you did not catch the last podcast.

Sue and I are rolling out a new workshop called DESIGN YOUR DAYS. Just 90 minutes with us will set you in the direction for your work and personal life that works for YOU. Our first Design Your Days workshop will be at the Hampton Hotel in Colchester, VT near Burlington, on May 2 and is part of the WBON (women business owner’s network) which is a statewide, Vermont business organization. We’d love for you to attend so watch our blogs or social media sites for information! Click here for their site.

 

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To listen click here >>>  Self Care April 2013.         

To read our advice, just continue on in this blog entry.

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Sue: Onto our podcast tips. Our last two podcasts focused on Self Care. This can be the root of many productivity issues. When we don’t sleep well at night, when we allow our exercise routine to take a back seat for an extended period of time, when we allow others to set our priorities- we neglect ourselves. Keeping this point at the top of mind will subconsciously allow you to begin turning it around. The next question to ask yourself is- what’s getting in your way of making a little progress?

 

Carol: We tend to ask our listeners a lot of questions, don’t we? Well in that spirit I have three more:

  1. Do you have to “have enough time” to write the entire book, and know exactly what you want to say before you begin?
  2. Do you have to have all the right cleaning tools before you begin organizing that spare room?
  3. Do you feel so overwhelmed by cleaning your home that you think, why bother? It will just get messed up again and I don’t even know where to start.

 

Sue: Thanks, Carol. That sounds little like perfectionist behavior to me.

To our listeners: Has anyone ever called you a perfectionist?

Perhaps you don’t wash your car because you don’t have the right wax and you really want to wax it at the same time, and by the way the sun will be setting soon anyway, maybe I should just catch up on some reading instead?

Perfectionism often leads to procrastination.

It’s time to shift our thinking. Try, what’s my plan B? If I don’t have the right wax, so what? Can I wax using what I have? Can I wax just half of the car? Won’t that be better than nothing? Or when can I go to the local car place and get them to do it for me!

 

Carol: OK onto some tips! Let’s think about re-framing your attitudes- to help you succeed:

Think of one tiny step you could accomplish toward your big goal. For example, if you know you have trouble sleeping, and you think you need to go to the doctor, and can’t find time to call, can’t find time to go to an appointment, don’t have the right insurance, what could you do instead? Could you find 15 minutes per night to meditate right before bed, try that for 3 weeks and if no improvement then take another step? The key here is thinking about what you CAN do vs. all the reasons you CAN’T do something. Those little steps could be called Plan B.

 

I want to send my kids to camp XYZ but I don’t know how I will get them there or how I will afford it. What can be plan B? Could you begin to look into the other options? Could you write a Facebook post asking other parents to do a “round robin” home based camp with other kids their age in your area? Time to think creatively. Let go of “it has to be this way” and watch new answers start coming your way.

 

Sue: My first suggestion is an anti procrastination exercise which comes to us from a client who had great success with this. This is useful for people who say “I can talk myself out of anything,” or “I can’t get started – the perfectionism or procrastination gets me too often.”

The six questions were developed by David Burns, and are in his book, The Feeling Good Handbook. Essentially, the questions have you weigh the advantages and disadvantages by writing them down so you can see what you’re thinking– and it’s amazing how well this works.

 

My second suggestion will be of interest to those who need lots of variety in their days. I’m going to suggest you embrace the variety.  Work it into whatever self-care you’re trying to bring into your life.

For example, you want to start doing some sort of exercise, yet you just imagine how boring it’s going to be, so you stop before you start.

How about this instead: Mondays, you walk on your own. Wednesdays you walk with a neighbor. Saturday morning, you walk while you talk to your daughter, who is at college. The other days you don’t walk; you ride your bike somewhere around town.

The variety is in both which exercise you take on and how or with whom you actually take it on. The important piece is here is to reach out, ask people and get time and people set up so they help you get out each day.

 

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As a reminder, you are listening to a podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

 

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.

 

Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

 

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Posted in Caregiving, Design Your Days: A New Perspective ( Podcasts), Habits, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Where Are You with Your Own Self-Care?

Friday, April 12th, 2013

 

“Self-care” — I first heard this phrase a few years ago in my coaching program. And then there’s “Extreme self-care” which I first heard of from my co-presenter Amy Medling, a health coach, and which I would apply to times of crisis, life changing events or crazy busy phases we sometimes have. My latest podcasts with my colleague Carol Williams focus on self-care and how to create time for it.

Today, I’d simply like to share ideas and questions for you to come up with your own definition for taking care of yourself.

A list of ideas can spur one’s thinking. This is my list, nothing official, just from work with clients and on myself.

 

Body:

  • Are you seeing a primary care regularly – medical, naturopath – whatever your choice.
  • What age/stage of life are you … and what issues are likely to crop up for you? What are you doing to plan ahead so you’re not in crisis?
  • Nutrition/eating: acknowledging and honoring allergies, tolerances, weight and energy even if you’re the only one in the household with these issues.
  • How important is walking, exercise, or movement to you to your health and to your mental health? (Yoga, dance, seasonal sports)
  • Awareness – through meditation,visualization, body scans or yoga.

Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.

Jim Rohn

Mind:

  • Meditation
  • Reading
  • Connecting with the outside,  in nature
  • How do you clear your mind to stay focused?
  • What techniques do you have for letting go of difficult conversations or emotions?
  • How do you keep track of all you need to keep track of in life and in your work?
  • How confident are you in your home or work systems which help life run smoothly for you?
  • How do you open your mind to learning and curiosity so you’re always growing?
  • How much do you take from the work you do: does it drain or add energy or something in between? What’s next?
  • What roles do you have; which are you comfortable with? Which do you need more support for?
  • What professionals are in your life to support you? Therapists, coach, respite care, trainer, medical/health experts, babysitters, etc.. Who is on your team?
  • How do you deal with anxiety or similar challenges?
  • Have you dealt with old feelings – family dysfunction, divorce, grief – or are they getting stuffed? How could you deal with these once and for all? What would that do for you?

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to pray in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.

John Muir

 

 

The Spirit of You:

  • What do you do for friendships you want to strengthen? From taking a 1/2 day off together to dinner out to mini-retreats away from it all.
  • What do you do for fun? What did you used to do? Is there enough in your life today?
  • How accepting of yourself are you? How demanding? Does this feel balanced and realistic?
  • What do others say about you? Do you believe it?
  • Are you the person you want to be?
  • What gives you joy; how often do you take those opportunities?
  • What makes you laugh? Are you doing that often enough?
  • Who are you not getting enough time with and how could you change that?

 It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.

Oprah Winfrey

 

 

In each area, where are you now ?

  • Do you have the knowledge or ideas you need to get started yet?
  • Contemplating getting started but not sure how to begin?
  • Can’t even contemplate – too much to think about.
  • Beginning to think about creating time for one or more changes.
  • Already in some form of ritual or routine but difficult to keep up.

 

If you now listen to some of our self-care podcasts, you’ll get ideas for how to work self-care into your days, how to get started, how to make the time and much more. Each podcast is audio and also written out in the blog; each lats 5-8 minutes at most and typically has 4  key suggestions to focus on.

Go here to begin listening. All podcasts are in the category called “Perspective Podcasts.”

If you’d like a one-on-one discussion or coaching around creating time for your own self-care, please call 603.554.1948 or email Sue@OrganizeNH.com

Sometimes, one call is all it’ll take to process ideas for where to start. If you’re working on new habits or behaviors, it’ll take longer.

 

 

 

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Posted in Caregiving, Design Your Days: A New Perspective ( Podcasts), Habits, Hoarding, Inspiration, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Gift Certificates for Organizing/Coaching Services: Doing it “Right”

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

You’re sure that if he/she worked with an organizing coach, life would be better, calmer, more productive at work and at home. I know it will … but would he or she agree? This is the time of year you might be thinking, “I want to get a gift that MEANS something, that won’t just be more ‘stuff’ to add to a cluttered life.”

It’s a helpful thought … and here’s how to do it so you help your relationship and don’t hurt it.

When someone calls and asks about a gift certificate, I offer the following advice, so that the  conversation and the gift are welcomed, and don’t cause a blowup in your relationship.

Who is complaining? About what?

Has she complained that she just can’t get a handle on it all? Life, the home business, the household. Think carefully, because she needs to be the one complaining. That’s where her motivation to change will come from, not because she “should” or because someone else tells her. Research tells us that when a decluttering is forced, the clutter returns, and even  more of it. We can do a big reorganization, but if she doesn’t see a real need in the first place, how quickly do you think the stuff or time clutter will return? In a blink of an eye.

Starting the conversation

What did he say when he complained about too much to do or his ADHD getting the way? That’s the phrase you want to key off of to start a conversation. Because you do need to have a conversation before you give this gift. “I was thinking about when  you said … and I’ve read this woman’s blog/website. What I liked about her approach/credentials was … and so I thought this might be useful to you. What do you think of the idea?”

Spouses

Stuff and time clutter are conceptually like money. One of you probably is a bit more of a saver and the other more of a spender. Just as our attitudes and upbringing about money and finances are often different, so are our attitudes about stuff and time.

If either time or ‘too much stuff’ have become an issue in your marriage, an outsider, provided you both agree to this, is a useful approach. When I work with the one spouse, I work with that person’s strengths but I also understand that this organizing is different for each of us, so I can appreciate and explain what’s likely happening for the other spouse.

When ADHD, bipolar, depression/anxiety are in the mix

Many of my clients have ADHD. It shows up differently for each person and affects his/her life differently. The skills and practical strategies we work on will be different for each person.

Also, if needed, I’ll recommend education for both the spouses or the employee and the supervisor. Because it’s not an issue of “simply doing it.” Or “mind over matter.” These are neurologically based issues and you need to understand something about your condition to figure out how to outsmart it. Or to understand how to work together, so neither of you is a nag about it but together, you can deal with its impacts. Yes, it’s the third wheel and it will be, until you understand, accept and even embrace how ADHD shows up in your life.

Next chapters: divorce, death, big life changes

This would seem like an ideal situation to go through your things and your time, figuring out how to honor the past but move on. And that’s true. It’s cathartic, balancing, and filled with memories.

Here, you’ll want to ask the question even more sensitively about whether the person is ready to “begin to think about moving on, at least a first step.” My experience is that he/she may be ready to part with things, but  may not be ready for the whole process. And people get ready to move on at different rates. So it’s about taking one, small step and starting the process. That’s been the best approach and the least threatening to the memories of the past.

Other options to get started

Last, if it now seems that a gift certificate is not the idea that will work, you might consider giving my book instead. It’s filled with practical strategies, room by room and includes time management advice, plus reflection questions. Its focus is on moving onto your next chapter, so if big lie changes are part of the equation, this might be a good start. Read the table of contents and a chapter at this link.

You can call first

For gift certificates or to discuss your situation before you decide, simply email me or call 603.554.1948. Happy to chat for a bit to help you figure out how to help yourself or the person you’re thinking about. I offer phone coaching/consulting, virtual organizing, and in home/in office meetings – or a combination, depending on what works best.

 

Happy holidays season -

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted in AD/HD, Caregiving, Divorcing, Harmony at Home, Hoarding, Holidays, Home Office, Inside My World, Time Management | 1 Comment »

Blog Action Day Post: “The Power of We” – A Caring Bridge

Monday, October 15th, 2012

The Power of We  — a celebration of people working together to make a positive difference in the world, either for their own communities or for people they will never meet half way around the world.  Blog Action Day brings together bloggers from different countries, interests and languages to blog about one important global topic on the same day.

For those of you who are taking care of a loved one who is ill, due to aging or illness, my post  is written to encourage you to ask for support and build a community, a lifesaver to help hold you up until you can do it on your own again.

I’m asking you to believe in the power of we, that building a community around you will carry you in ways you cannot imagine. My blog post is a personal example of  individuals creating a community of caring, not to make a significant social or economic change, but an emotional and perhaps spiritual change in life.

I was part of a virtual circle of support for someone who was gravely ill. Many of us suggested they use CaringBridge* to make it easier to provide updates to all of us – or that’s what we thought the benefit would be.

 

Witnessing the power of we  (I am only quoting examples of what the two of us wrote, to protect privacy of others involved.):

  • Healing/Faith
  • Gratitude
  • Education
  • Inspiration
  • Moving On

 

Healing/Faith

“There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something, tomorrow.” ~Orison Sweet Marden

People posted according to many different healing and faith belief systems. We happily opened our minds to believe that all ideas were welcomed here.


This quote at right I posted when we weren’t sure if she would shine again. I believed the energy from all of us would help her break through those clouds to shine.

So is that healing for my friend, or faith and healing for me? Yes. Both.

 

Gratitude

Particularly early in one’s illness, it’s difficult to be grateful for anything. But with a community around you, even a virtual one to complement the one that is with you and nearby, you’ll be gently reminded of what you can be grateful for.

As one person would write about gratitude,  the gratitude wave caught on and ebbed and flowed through the community, with many inspiring posts.

“On this day – the fourth of  July when the country is celebrating, we, too, are celebrating the love you have for each other; the support surrounding each of you as you travel this difficult journey; the caring that is being sent your way to help you travel this road.  Take one small step at a time – celebrate the positives- we are traveling with you in spirit -”

Imagine being on the receiving end of thousands of posts from your virtual community. Not ones to answer, but just to take in as support.

 

Education

A singular focus.

Once the diagnosis was made, there were posts about similar experiences, suggestions, paths to follow, web site links to educate and so forth.

And education for all of us, about what was happening, what was true or not true. When a particular part of her body was not functioning the way it needed to, we were invited to focus our prayers, rays of hope, quotes, inspiration, good thoughts and healing powers that part of the body.

Asking for help, very specifically. The body had no option but to listen to the power of we!

 

Inspiration

Music is my oasis. So many song lyrics remind me of you all these days. Today’s are from Cris Williamson’s “Waterfall.”  ” I’ve been dreaming in the sun; won’t you wake me up someone ; I need a little piece of mind. Wake me from this dream that I have dreamed so many times; I need a little piece of mind. Oh, I need a little piece of mind.”

Sometimes we don’t need advice. We need inspiration or soothing words. One creative person wrote poems. I posted quotes, music lyrics or just my own words to inspire, sometimes for the one who was ill; sometimes for the partner and caregiver.

New definitions of ‘what is.’ New reasons to laugh. New lovely traits. New things “we know.” New strength each day. New perspectives, new ways to get through the days, to share, and to be. A precious time.

 

Moving On

One step at a time

An illness often goes on for weeks or months. Your community members may shift a bit. Some are best at being there during the initial crisis and then slow down. Others are afraid perhaps of the crisis, but show up after, when a steady stream of support is needed.

Cherish both because each will help you move on to the next day, or the next medical complication to wrestle with, or onto rehab or to home.

Moving on becomes a series of small steps, taken a day at a time, so the journey doesn’t feel quite as overwhelming and you keep up your energy.

Think phases, steps or chapters of time and you’ll feel less overwhelmed.

You are, together, a beautiful model of mindful care-giving and friendship, as you shift into your new roles. Congratulations to all of you on a significant step forward on your journey of hope and recovery. All my best for another good day today.

… the roller coaster metaphor – sometimes one has to take a step back to gain the momentum for the continued journey forward – like a sprinter who leans on the back foot just before running as quickly as possible to the finish line – - for you – the finish line is a return to a healthy form – keep running for the finish line – we are all pushing and routing for you and sending lots of love and positive energy so you can both finish the race victoriously -

 

The power of we: We could read it. We could feel it in the energy as we read other people’s posts. We could see it once we were able to visit our friend again.

And importantly, we have this with us in our hearts forever.

I imagine many of us, strangers before this, are still processing and embracing the impact of this experience. After your crisis is settled a bit, ask your friends and support system how they experienced all of it; you may be surprised at the good you did for others, even as you slogged through a difficult time.

And sometimes, that’s a gift on its own.

What lies behind us and what lies before us

are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

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Resource: *According to the CaringBridge website:  “Think of us as an online space where you can connect, share and receive support – kind of like a personalized “caring” social network. Thanks to those who donate, we are available 24/7 to anyone, anywhere at no cost. We offer: CaringBridge Sites,Our personal, protected sites make it easy to post health updates during any type of health event. Family and friends visit the site to stay informed and leave supportive messages, and SupportPlanner. Our SupportPlanner is a calendar that helps family and friends coordinate care and organize helpful tasks, such as bringing a meal, taking care of pets and other needs.

 

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