Archive for the ‘Habits’ Category

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Change Your Sleep Cycle & Change Your Days: Here’s How

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

Many people have trouble shutting off their fast-working minds as they transition from their day to their evening and to sleep time. This happens to most of us at times of high stress, life changes and is a common issue for people taking ADHD medications among others.

The problem is about more than simple fatigue. It’s that our day starts later than we wanted it to, we get less done, have less energy, and on top of all that, we sometimes beat up on ourselves for not getting enough sleep, enough done or enough self-care. Physical, mental and emotional fatigue. And then we’re not there for ourselves or for those around us.

We are not our best.

 

Meredith Bohn Interior Design with Greg West Photography

Here is my  list of suggestions for winding down. Take what has worked or you think might work for you and leave the rest. Or feel free to share with someone else having sleep cycle issues.

Whether you’re earning an income or working to keep the household and family running, these can apply to your life.

The idea is to give your body some signals or habits,  so your mind and body wind down, allowing for calmer and easier sleep cycles.

 

  • Clear the mental clutter.  How do you mentally close out your day? You need a way to leave behind the tasks you didn’t get to today, the ones that cropped up during the day and the ideas you want to return to. Create a way to get these out of your head and into a trusted capturing device.
  • If end of day sneaks up on you: About a half-hour before then, set a reminder to begin getting into “personal” mode or “home life” mode. It’s a different focus,with different people, and a different rhythm so begin shifting your energy.
  • Take time with meals: This may mean that you need to plan out some meals a week ahead of time or at least a few days, so you eliminate some of the rushing and have a more relaxed dinner time.
  • Decide on a “no technology” time zone:It’s proven that technology keep us alert (dopamine increases), so how about if you shut off all technology about 8 p.m. ? Have a good, old-fashioned “quiet time.”

    Meredith Bohn Interior Design-Greg West Photography

  • Set an intended bedtime. You may or may not make it, but if you don’t have a time set in your head, you have no goal to aim for. Hours will  slip away.
  • Watch no violence after 8 p.m. If you enjoy TV, consider the noise/vibration/activity level of  shows you’re watching. Active shows won’t help you relax your mind.
  • Nighttime/morning routine swaps: Take a few days to notice the patterns or routines  for both evenings and the  mornings. If evenings feel stressed to the max, is there one routine you could move to the morning instead? Or handle once or twice a week instead of every night?
  • What calming activities do you use?  Music, reading, hot tea, a walk after work – What sorts of activities help to calm your mind? Are you doing any of these at night ?
  • Check the lights. Do your curtains need to be a darker color? Do you remember to close them at night and open in the morning?

 

Julie Pelletier-Rutkowski, of Feng Shui Services of New England, has some Feng Shui principles and advice about setting up your own bedroom in her blog post titled “Fish Tank Head Board and Feng Shui.”  I attended her class recently and learned some great ideas.   

To me, Feng Shui is a way to encourage good and positive energy to flow throughout you home and  your life. Pure and simple. Check out her post or her classes.

 

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Posted in AD/HD, Caregiving, Change, Habits, Harmony at Home, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Self-Care: 4 Strategies to Push through Perfectionism & Procrastination

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

Sue: Does this sound like you?

  • I am always late.
  • I never seem to be able to get to my most important goal. I am too busy.
  • I try, but I keep hitting roadblocks. Maybe I am not “cut out” for this.

 

Carol: Hi, this is Carol Williams, Productivity Specialist at EpS, Efficient Productivity Systems.

Sue: And this is Sue West, Life Transitions Coach and AD/HD specialist. We have joined together for this series of audio interviews to give you short, “use today” pieces of advice, in 5 to 8 minutes.

Today’s is called “What’s Your Plan B?” but first …

Carol: We’d like to share some exciting news, in case you did not catch the last podcast.

Sue and I are rolling out a new workshop called DESIGN YOUR DAYS. Just 90 minutes with us will set you in the direction for your work and personal life that works for YOU. Our first Design Your Days workshop will be at the Hampton Hotel in Colchester, VT near Burlington, on May 2 and is part of the WBON (women business owner’s network) which is a statewide, Vermont business organization. We’d love for you to attend so watch our blogs or social media sites for information! Click here for their site.

 

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To listen click here >>>  Self Care April 2013.         

To read our advice, just continue on in this blog entry.

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Sue: Onto our podcast tips. Our last two podcasts focused on Self Care. This can be the root of many productivity issues. When we don’t sleep well at night, when we allow our exercise routine to take a back seat for an extended period of time, when we allow others to set our priorities- we neglect ourselves. Keeping this point at the top of mind will subconsciously allow you to begin turning it around. The next question to ask yourself is- what’s getting in your way of making a little progress?

 

Carol: We tend to ask our listeners a lot of questions, don’t we? Well in that spirit I have three more:

  1. Do you have to “have enough time” to write the entire book, and know exactly what you want to say before you begin?
  2. Do you have to have all the right cleaning tools before you begin organizing that spare room?
  3. Do you feel so overwhelmed by cleaning your home that you think, why bother? It will just get messed up again and I don’t even know where to start.

 

Sue: Thanks, Carol. That sounds little like perfectionist behavior to me.

To our listeners: Has anyone ever called you a perfectionist?

Perhaps you don’t wash your car because you don’t have the right wax and you really want to wax it at the same time, and by the way the sun will be setting soon anyway, maybe I should just catch up on some reading instead?

Perfectionism often leads to procrastination.

It’s time to shift our thinking. Try, what’s my plan B? If I don’t have the right wax, so what? Can I wax using what I have? Can I wax just half of the car? Won’t that be better than nothing? Or when can I go to the local car place and get them to do it for me!

 

Carol: OK onto some tips! Let’s think about re-framing your attitudes- to help you succeed:

Think of one tiny step you could accomplish toward your big goal. For example, if you know you have trouble sleeping, and you think you need to go to the doctor, and can’t find time to call, can’t find time to go to an appointment, don’t have the right insurance, what could you do instead? Could you find 15 minutes per night to meditate right before bed, try that for 3 weeks and if no improvement then take another step? The key here is thinking about what you CAN do vs. all the reasons you CAN’T do something. Those little steps could be called Plan B.

 

I want to send my kids to camp XYZ but I don’t know how I will get them there or how I will afford it. What can be plan B? Could you begin to look into the other options? Could you write a Facebook post asking other parents to do a “round robin” home based camp with other kids their age in your area? Time to think creatively. Let go of “it has to be this way” and watch new answers start coming your way.

 

Sue: My first suggestion is an anti procrastination exercise which comes to us from a client who had great success with this. This is useful for people who say “I can talk myself out of anything,” or “I can’t get started – the perfectionism or procrastination gets me too often.”

The six questions were developed by David Burns, and are in his book, The Feeling Good Handbook. Essentially, the questions have you weigh the advantages and disadvantages by writing them down so you can see what you’re thinking– and it’s amazing how well this works.

 

My second suggestion will be of interest to those who need lots of variety in their days. I’m going to suggest you embrace the variety.  Work it into whatever self-care you’re trying to bring into your life.

For example, you want to start doing some sort of exercise, yet you just imagine how boring it’s going to be, so you stop before you start.

How about this instead: Mondays, you walk on your own. Wednesdays you walk with a neighbor. Saturday morning, you walk while you talk to your daughter, who is at college. The other days you don’t walk; you ride your bike somewhere around town.

The variety is in both which exercise you take on and how or with whom you actually take it on. The important piece is here is to reach out, ask people and get time and people set up so they help you get out each day.

 

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As a reminder, you are listening to a podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

 

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.

 

Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

 

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Posted in Caregiving, Design Your Days: A New Perspective ( Podcasts), Habits, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Where Are You with Your Own Self-Care?

Friday, April 12th, 2013

 

“Self-care” — I first heard this phrase a few years ago in my coaching program. And then there’s “Extreme self-care” which I first heard of from my co-presenter Amy Medling, a health coach, and which I would apply to times of crisis, life changing events or crazy busy phases we sometimes have. My latest podcasts with my colleague Carol Williams focus on self-care and how to create time for it.

Today, I’d simply like to share ideas and questions for you to come up with your own definition for taking care of yourself.

A list of ideas can spur one’s thinking. This is my list, nothing official, just from work with clients and on myself.

 

Body:

  • Are you seeing a primary care regularly – medical, naturopath – whatever your choice.
  • What age/stage of life are you … and what issues are likely to crop up for you? What are you doing to plan ahead so you’re not in crisis?
  • Nutrition/eating: acknowledging and honoring allergies, tolerances, weight and energy even if you’re the only one in the household with these issues.
  • How important is walking, exercise, or movement to you to your health and to your mental health? (Yoga, dance, seasonal sports)
  • Awareness – through meditation,visualization, body scans or yoga.

Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.

Jim Rohn

Mind:

  • Meditation
  • Reading
  • Connecting with the outside,  in nature
  • How do you clear your mind to stay focused?
  • What techniques do you have for letting go of difficult conversations or emotions?
  • How do you keep track of all you need to keep track of in life and in your work?
  • How confident are you in your home or work systems which help life run smoothly for you?
  • How do you open your mind to learning and curiosity so you’re always growing?
  • How much do you take from the work you do: does it drain or add energy or something in between? What’s next?
  • What roles do you have; which are you comfortable with? Which do you need more support for?
  • What professionals are in your life to support you? Therapists, coach, respite care, trainer, medical/health experts, babysitters, etc.. Who is on your team?
  • How do you deal with anxiety or similar challenges?
  • Have you dealt with old feelings – family dysfunction, divorce, grief – or are they getting stuffed? How could you deal with these once and for all? What would that do for you?

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to pray in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.

John Muir

 

 

The Spirit of You:

  • What do you do for friendships you want to strengthen? From taking a 1/2 day off together to dinner out to mini-retreats away from it all.
  • What do you do for fun? What did you used to do? Is there enough in your life today?
  • How accepting of yourself are you? How demanding? Does this feel balanced and realistic?
  • What do others say about you? Do you believe it?
  • Are you the person you want to be?
  • What gives you joy; how often do you take those opportunities?
  • What makes you laugh? Are you doing that often enough?
  • Who are you not getting enough time with and how could you change that?

 It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.

Oprah Winfrey

 

 

In each area, where are you now ?

  • Do you have the knowledge or ideas you need to get started yet?
  • Contemplating getting started but not sure how to begin?
  • Can’t even contemplate – too much to think about.
  • Beginning to think about creating time for one or more changes.
  • Already in some form of ritual or routine but difficult to keep up.

 

If you now listen to some of our self-care podcasts, you’ll get ideas for how to work self-care into your days, how to get started, how to make the time and much more. Each podcast is audio and also written out in the blog; each lats 5-8 minutes at most and typically has 4  key suggestions to focus on.

Go here to begin listening. All podcasts are in the category called “Perspective Podcasts.”

If you’d like a one-on-one discussion or coaching around creating time for your own self-care, please call 603.554.1948 or email Sue@OrganizeNH.com

Sometimes, one call is all it’ll take to process ideas for where to start. If you’re working on new habits or behaviors, it’ll take longer.

 

 

 

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Posted in Caregiving, Design Your Days: A New Perspective ( Podcasts), Habits, Hoarding, Inspiration, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Perspectives Podcasts: 4 Tips to Get Started with Self-Care

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

Easy enough to say we want to take better care of ourselves. Difficult to do…  oh so difficult.

When Carol Williams and I last joined you via podcast or this blog, we asked you some questions:

  • What gives you energy?
  • What drains it?

And then we gave you a way to set priorities for what you want to start with for your own self-care, plus suggestions on how to “get started” or get “un-stuck.”

Once you begin SOMETHING it’s easier to KEEP GOING. The momentum carries you along, while you wait to get motivated… because sometimes we just don’t have the motivation! (And for even more on THAT topic, see my blog interviews with Begin with Yes author Paul Boynton.)

Now that we know better what we want, and what we don’t want, how do we get there?

Please listen here:  Self Care March 2013  

Or read on below if you prefer.

 

Carol: Sue, I love this challenge. It’s one of my favorite hurdles to help my clients over. The challenge is that what you need to do SOUNDS very simple, but, can be ANYTHING BUT simple. Our bodies, biologically, resist change! There is even a NAME for this: Homeostasis.  Anyone who has ever tried to stop smoking, go on a diet, etc. knows this, but now, you can STOP FEELING BADLY about yourself for it. Time to trick yourself!

So the first tip. #1  Share your intention.
  • Tell a friend, coach, or partner what you intend to do MORE of or LESS of.
  • Ask that person if he or she can receive a call or an email if necessary.
  • Simply saying your goal out loud, and announcing it to another person will build in accountability and work its way into your subconscious.
Watch yourself and be amazed.

Sue: I often use the phrase “Path of least resistance.” Tip #2.

Let’s say you want to start  going to the gym in the morning or walking. The path of least resistance? Get EVERYTHING ready the night before: lay out your clothes or pack your bag, get your work outfit ready, too, and the music you want to listen to. Go to bed a little early.

Take away any reason you might say you can’t go when morning comes.

Grease the skids. Path of least resistance. Figure out your phrase to make it EASY to move ahead.

Grease the skids.
(Last photo of winter – promise!)

 

Carol: Your shared intention is this: You want to walk each day at lunchtime, but you are accustomed to working through lunch.

Tip #3: Try the “if/then” technique. Our brains are wired to receive this message.

“IF” I am tempted to skip my walk, THEN I will call Betsy and ask her to come with me. As you can see, it’s helpful to have a support team here. Betsy can be your accountability friend in tip one, or someone else.

 

Sue: Last tip #4: Attach your new habit or ritual to one that ALREADY works for you.

For example, read through your mail and paperwork during the time you make dinner, while you’re waiting for something. Or while your children are doing THEIR homework, do your paperwork.

Or support the habit in ways that have worked for you before: You used to count points on Weight Watchers and record them; how about recording how well you’re doing with your exercise habit each day?

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In closing, we have some EXCITING NEWS to share.

Carol and I are rolling out a new workshop called

DESIGN YOUR DAYS: Making Your Time Count.


It’s for women business owners who struggle with time and energy management. Staying productive in life and in your work.  What’s different about this workshop? This is about finally figuring out how to design your days in ways that work for you. Not what someone else tells you should work. But working with us and our DYD framework to figure it out with you and for you and how you think, work, and handle what comes your way. Is this you? If so, please  join us in Vermont, contact me or Carol, or watch for upcoming workshops and a retreat.
  • You’re going at full speed but not feeling you’re getting anywhere;
  • You’re feeling stuck. You’ve reached a plateau and you’re not moving ahead;
  • You want a fresh, creative look at how to manage your time and design your days.
  • You know what to do … you’re not doing it though. You’re in your own way sometimes.
Our first Design Your Days workshop will be at the Hampton Hotel in Colchester, VT on May 2 and is part of the WBON (women business owner’s network) which is a statewide, Vermont business organization. More information is available by clicking the WBON logo below or here at this link: Annual spring conference.

As a reminder, you are listening to (or reading) our podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

 

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.

Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

 

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Posted in AD/HD, Design Your Days: A New Perspective ( Podcasts), Habits, Inside My World, Time Management | No Comments »

Anti Procrastination Strategies – More Q&A with Paul Boynton, author of Begin with Yes

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

This is the second of two articles which are an interview with Paul Boynton, author of Begin with Yes, a delightful and practical book about taking ownership for our choices and moving ahead in simple ways to make our commitments happen.

We ended the last article with how to get un-stuck, where we all are sometimes.

One of his suggestions is to create small, “doable steps,” and then say “yes” to taking one step. The smallest step can give us momentum and inspiration to continue putting one foot in front of the other, and pretty soon, we’ve accomplished our goal.

Some days, it’s all about putting one foot in front of the other, and some days that’s ALL we can do.  A key is to define the step to be so small that it sounds easy and feels easy to do.

 

This discussion is about:

  • Forgetting about motivation and finding inspiration instead;
  • What to do on a ‘bad day’ to move on despite it;
  • How helping others helps us.

 

1.     In your book, you talk about finding inspiration instead of motivation. So often, we hear ourselves saying “I just need to get motivated for this task, but I can’t.” How does inspiration work for us instead of trying to find motivation?

This is such a great question, and one that lots of people ask.  It’s so easy to wait to be motivated, when in reality we can take one of the small steps even when we‘re not feeling it!

 

Waiting for motivation is really just a socially acceptable excuse to stay stuck, and some people can wait for weeks, months, or even a lifetime for motivation to come knocking on the door.

 

Don’t stand by the door waiting; take a step outside and see what you can discover.

Many times real inspiration to move forward comes simply from  the realization that we don’t want to stay where we are one more moment.

A beautiful quality I admire in many people is their willingness to “do it” before they feel it. It’s ultimate tenacity of the human spirit that touches me. We all have it – Sometimes we just need to dig a little deeper to find it.

My mantra is:  Be afraid, but don’t be stopped.

Be confused, but don’t be stuck.  Be worn out, but don’t give up.

 You’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

And often, just remembering this is all the inspiration you’ll need to get started.

 

2.     Many of us have difficulties when we try to move beyond the bad day that seems to be shaping up for us. I love your approach: ask a lot of questions and the power of questions. Talk about the questions and their power, principle #5; how does this work so well?

The truth is, we all have bad days, difficult stretches, heart ache and heart breaks. It’s just part of life.  That said, the simple truth is, we are each really a lot more powerful than we think, or give ourselves credit for. I am always reminding people how far they’ve come and how many challenges they already survived.

I’ve learned whenever I am in lost in the forest, I need to ask myself   “Now what?” The answer isn’t usually a complete map of the path to a better place but it’s at least the next step. And as I take that step, I feel a bit better and the next one comes a little easier. And after awhile, I discover that I am out of the woods.

 

Anything else you’d like to add or share?

When all is said and done, our lives are up to us. We can choose to move through our days without really declaring (and owning) our passions, purpose, and our right and need to be happy and fulfilled or we can step up and begin to make things happen.

It may seem easier to stay put emotionally, creatively and productively, and wonder “what will happen?” But it’s so much more fun to co-create with the Universe and make something happen.

And finally as it turns out, sharing the journey with good people is really more important than arriving at any special destination.

And the best way to attract good company for the trip is to be good company yourself. Helping others achieve their dreams will add so much depth and meaning to your life and appreciating and thanking those who help you will add so much joy.

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That wraps up my series with Paul. So, think about these questions: What’s the best idea you’ve taken away from Paul’s comments? What can you use, starting today, to help you in your life and business?

What could you practice with? And what difference will that make to you?

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Posted in Change, Habits, Life "Balance", Time Management | 4 Comments »

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