Archive for the ‘Downsizing Dilemmas- Solved’ Category

Organizers’ Blog Carnival !

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

Imagine each month, about a dozen organizers/coaches weigh in on the same topic.

That’s the fun and expertise we share at the Blog Carnival, hosted by Janet Barclay, The Organized Assistant.

Great for our businesses and great for those of you who appreciate reading multiple perspectives and ideas on the same topic!

Click on the picture and you’ll go to the Blog Carnival web site.

 

A sampling of our topics:

  • ADHD– next week’s release – watch for it!
  • Computer organizing
  • Downsizing
  • Memorabilia
  • Reflection and Planning
  • Success

 

And – who can resist telling you – but I’m a Star!

Having contributed at least 10 articles, I just received my badge of honor, the blog star you see above.

 

 

 

Letting Go – A 9 Year Old’s Question

Tuesday, July 10th, 2012

My 9 year old nephew wasn’t tall enough to ride the Go Karts at our nearby fun park. He was understandably upset at something he had little control over. We talked about needing to “let it go.”

But he was having a tough time with it.   And kids, yes, they do ask the darndest questions:  “I’m upset and I don’t know how to let go. How do you do that?” How do you DO that? Yikes.

At the inside ticket counter, he and his fraternal twin brother had each stepped up to the height ruler hung the wall. One did not make but this boy did.

His brother, while disappointed, cheerfully went off to the batting cages. I went off with the lucky brother to ride the Go Karts.

Now outside in line, we hear, “Let’s check your height, please.”And then, “Sorry, no. You need to be above the height line.” The assistant manager called in to make the final decision ruled that he did not meet the height requirement. We exchanged the ticket, so the manager made it right… but only from our adult perspective.

Not so for the child, who at this point wanted to leave the park.

I don’t know if he was more upset because he realized there were two sets of rules or about not getting to drive. He’s bright and principled, so it really could be both.

I don’t know how to let it go. How do I?”  I work on this question every day I’m organizing or coaching with a client. And I struggle with it myself occasionally.

Here were Aunties’ Answers for this situation.

  • Change the Situation: “Sometimes you can’t make it right.  It is what it is. Sometimes it’ll help to find something else to focus on.” (e.g., mini golf with his brother).
  • Find Support: His brother asked him to come and play mini golf with us. Simply asked him and was there for him.
  • He wasn’t going to play, but his brother (and we) thought we’d get him a club “Just in case.” He played mini-golf, not with a smile on his face, but he changed after we goofed around. He got the picture of what he was missing.
  • Look at Self: attitude, perspective.
    • “You can stew about it all night, but think of the fun you’ll miss while you’re still thinking about the Karts.”
    • For an adult, I would ask: What would make it right? What would help you let it go? How have you let it go before, in other situations

Am I putting rational thoughts around a 9 year old situation? I guess so, but it seemed to ring true and work for him.  Am I deluding myself, since I don’t have children and they were on vacation? Perhaps. But it did work.

I have a lot of faith in my boys and in the life skills they’ve learned to date. This one’s a difficult one, though, isn’t it?

When was the last time you had to “let go” and how did you do it? Share thoughts here, on Facebook or in a direct message.

 

Resources -

*Self, support, situation and strategies: the “four S” approach from Nancy K. Schlossberg. A wonderfully useful framework during times of overwhelm/change.

*The Change Blog

the blue giraffe! And a book giveaway.

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

This week, my blog post has gone visiting – over at the blue giraffe. The blog starts this way just so you’ll know what it’s about. Then click the giraffe or the beautiful hammock picture below to read the rest.

“External clutter is often a symptom of internal clutter. The mail that’s piled up is because your child was just diagnosed with a learning disability and you’ve got a lot on your plate now.
Or your mom now needs caregiving and you’re trying to figure out how to make her a priority, and still give your all to your family and your business.
Or a room no longer has a purpose. Or it has too many purposes going on at once.
Major changes and life transitions often bring on distraction, intense emotions and some overwhelming feelings.
And when that happens, whether the change has been of your choice or foisted on you, our stuff and our time can get a bit out of control.

The good news is that reorganizing is cathartic, not just for your physical stuff, but also for your internal, emotional or psychological ‘stuff.’ “

 

You can also click on this relaxing picture Wendy chose to accompany my article.

Wendy blogs about Interior Design, Redesign, Home Staging and Lifestyle and we first connected through mutual  colleagues – and over the topic of life transitions more recently, when she wrote a beautiful article on the topic.

Products: Uses for Smead’s 10 Slot Organizer

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

Even in our virtual world, many of us use paper for certain kinds of activities, at home or at the office. Clients usually will tell me “I’m a paper person” or “I’m really more interested in getting more onto my computer.”

So like the right brain/left brain discussions, most of us have a dominant preference for paper vs. PC, but we still use the other for certain tasks.

So for our papers: Smead sent me this Project Organizer and asked me to write about it here. I’m happy to do that because I can see myriad uses for the product which I’ll share with you here. Smead is a Corporate Partner with the National Association of Professional Organizers.  I see them at our product expo;  for a long time I’ve been impressed with their product innovations and their interest in understanding our clients’ needs.

 

A short description first: My photo is of the organizer standing  upright on my office floor.

  • Inside front cover: a summary sheet. What needs to get done, by whom and when.
  • 10 slash pocket folders. I love slash pockets because you have a preview of the folder’s contents. 
  • Expandable bottom binder, so as you fill this with papers, the whole thing expands. I love that it’s vertical because access is easier.
  • Each slash pocket has space for papers, and the pocket itself has space right on top for “Notes.” A little bit of guidance is useful.

 

Uses at Home

Homework: One binder per child keeps track of ten subjects, ten days or ten weeks of homework you want to review together. Add a laminated pocket to the  front of the binder and slide in a photo of your child, to identify which child’s binder is which. 

Home schooling: The teacher’s binder: ten  subjects or ten weeks of your lesson plans.

Taxes: Each section for different sorts of receipts and documents, with the folder staying near where you open the mail, and throughout the year.

Committees/volunteer activities: One spot, for all committees; one notebook to grab as you leave the house.  Or use the divided slots one per week, or per project.

Downsizing for a move: Use two binders, one for the buying side and one for the selling side. Or use one binder for the entire process with sections: Realtor-related, moving-related, expenses, new home research, etc.  Use the product as a “countdown” binder to your move date, with each section as a week’s worth of things to do. An inspirational quote on the front about next chapters helps with motivation for decluttering when needed.

Holiday countdown: As a holiday binder, I could see this as a weekly countdown, covering Thanksgiving and December holidays. Or, each section as a different aspect of planning: meals, traditions, budget, cards, decor, gifts.

 

Uses at Work or In Your Own Business

Clients for the week: One binder for the week, with materials you need on the go, for your appointments. Swap out the contents each week. Keeps your focus just on this week, and it means you need to do that weekly review.

Key projects or committee meetings: Same idea, but for the project side of your work. Use this for focusing on this week’s work. So for me, I might have  the next few workshops I’m designing or for the organizers’ chapter I head up here in New Hampshire.

On the road – conferences:  Use the  binder to take work with you. We all have some work that  is easier to work on, when it’s printed out. The binder is one place for your regular work, while you’re out at conferences or traveling.

Same as the home uses for taxes or committees. But use another binder for your business to keep home and business papers separated.

 

Answer these questions for yourself before buying any organizational product:

  • How exactly will you use the product (e.g., so here, how  would you use ten folders?). You wouldn’t buy a piece of clothing without knowing what size, so are organizing products any different? 
  • How do you typically organize your papers; what’s worked before will work again. The product supports how you work, think and organize your thoughts.
  • Where  will you keep the organizer, so you remember to use it. How will you start this new habit?
  • Do you like the style enough to enjoy using this product?  (Visual folks will relate to this subconscious aspect of choosing just the right product.)
  • Do you need something more specific to the purpose, e.g., a taxes binder like this the one pictured below, also from Smead. Take a look around their site; click on the taxes binder to get there.

What works for you?

 

 

“No, I Don’t Need Your Stuff.”

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

When she was downsizing her home, my grandmother would bring goodies on her visits. I didn’t know she was downsizing for an eventual move at the time or that would have given me perspective, I’m pretty sure. I was just out of college at the time, so thinking ahead to my own space.

She’d bring me something beautiful I’d remember from my childhood, such as a small pewter cream pitcher. I could remember where that pitcher was placed on her built-in bookcases. Even without touching the pitcher, I could remember it’s cold, metal feel. I remembered the  stories she used to tell about the pewter ware in the family. And my grandmother, a widow at a young age, was at our house a lot as I grew up. Many fond memories.

So of course I took the pewter pitcher. And the little plates. And the candlesticks. And more.

How could I say “no,” to memories, to my heroine, to my persuasive Baba? I didn’t say “no,” for a long time.

At some point, I found the perspective, that, while she loves me very much, at that time, she was downsizing and needed to know if family wanted her stuff. I could have said “no,” and eventually, I did.

 

Saying no is an easy way to keep less, but it’s often difficult for us to do.

Some ways to say “no,” without using the word “no” – and still being clear that you don’t need someone else’s stuff.

You probably have a friend or colleague who has figured out how to say no, with grace. Ask them how they do it.

Or try answering the request this way: “What I CAN do for you is … but not what you asked.” For example, I gave Baba other ideas for where she could give away her things.  And she still loved me even though I said “no” more often than “yes”!

“I already have one of those. How about it you donate it to — your church, Goodwill. Ask your knitting group.” Focus the person on other groups she might enjoy giving her things to.

And questions to ask  yourself, before you say “yes” would be:

How many of these do I have already?

Where exactly will I put this?

Do I love the object? The memory? Or the person giving it to me? If it’s the memory, snap a picture. If it’s the person, find other ways to say “I love you.”

 

Of course, her needlepoint’s another story entirely.