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Archive for the ‘Change’ Category

4 Ways to Gain Clarity on What You Want from Your Time

Monday, May 13th, 2013

From the Design Your Days team, Sue West & Carol Williams: We’ve just returned from Vermont, where we had the true pleasure of giving our Design Your Days workshop to WBON- Women’s Business Owner’s Network: A Vermont statewide network for education, support, and networking to women business owners.

It was fantastic and invigorating! With that, we’d love to address the CLARITY portion of our Design Your Days framework today.

Let’s start off with some comments we often hear …

I am constantly flying around from one thing to another.

I’ll start something, but get sidetracked into a whole different project.

I have three jobs, how do I keep everything straight? I take work from one job to another, and I’m never quite done with anything.

I need to be more organized, more efficient, so I that I can fit more in.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Continue reading our tips, or listen to our podcast by clicking here>> Design Your Days – with Clarity (May 2013)

As you know by now, we work with our clients to organize themselves around their own priorities- at work, at home, and at life.

Clarity is key.

Clarity is a word that reappears constantly in our work. Once you become clear about what you WANT from your time, it becomes far easier to let go of what you DON’T WANT.

So how do you gain clarity? AWARENESS is the first step.

Become the expert on YOU.

Our first tip is …

1. Pay attention to your stress level.

The key here is to get clear on the signals which tell you that you’re BEGINNING to feel stressed. Not that you’re smack in the middle of a meltdown or approaching one. The goal is to figure out earlier when you are headed down the path of stress. Some signals might be: barking at your kids or employees? Not sleeping well? Grabbing a bag of chips or alcohol or a cigarette to calm down?

What are your OWN signals that you’re starting down the stress path?

And then also think about how you’d like it to be instead. You might find a quiet place and breathe deeply, letting go of the stress, and thinking about what caused it. Pausing for a moment in the car after a long day often helps, before entering your home. Visualizing or feeling what you want the evening to look and feel like can help.

2. Talk and write, or write and talk.

When my days are full, I (Carol) MUST write down all my thoughts so they stop flying through my head. I use one of the following 2 methods. I write it all down on a blank sheet of paper with no lines. It feels more freeing to write on paper without lines. Or, when I am coming close to overwhelm, I write all thoughts, all projects, step by step (this step by step breakdown is key- task by task) on index cards so I can re-prioritize and re-shuffle as required. I have a pretty box I can then put my index cards into. Some of us prefer to process out loud (talk) to another person. We find clarity that way, and our priorities hit us. I like this method too, but I prefer writing, at least at first. If I choose to verbally process, it also helps if I am moving. Going for a walk with a friend helps with clarity on several levels.

So, what works for YOU to process what’s happening?

3. Try the “What just happened here?” approach. Think about a train going down the tracks. You know how it comes to a fork or a Y? There is actually a person who directs traffic, by flipping a switch; the train will then continue on or go off on that ‘side track.’ But it is on purpose.

YOU are the traffic coordinator of your time: So, find a way to keep track of what happens the minute before you get sidetracked. Become that switch flipper and make a CHOICE about which track to take.

It is in that moment of making your choice, that you will get CLEAR on what you want most: to keep on going or purposefully take that sidetrack.

4. “I’m never quite done with anything.” Here, you’ll want to become more aware of what “done” really means.

Is a project or task done well enough for now? Did you take on something far bigger than you had time for? If that’s the case, start doing more chunking down of steps. A single step in a project is “done,” even if the project is not done. Is it that you never have the materials for the project you want to work on, where you want to work on it? Or is your awareness that it takes you too long to activate and move to start a task?

See how awareness is important? You need to know where the issue really lies.

5. And in our last example, the person says he/she wants to “fit more in.”

More of what? And is that really what you want, or do you have some decisions to make? About saying “no,” or dropping an activity – or at least sidelining it for awhile until you “free up more time to tackle it.” And THAT is why clarity about what you WANT from your time is so important.

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As a reminder, you are listening and reading our podcast series. We’d love your feedback.

If you have a question you’d like answered, please visit our new Facebook page called Design Your Days. If you’d like to add yourself to the successful professionals we help go from good to great, contact one of us to get started with personal coaching. We’ll help you become more AWARE, and kick off the transformational process of Designing Your Days.

We are also the co-creators of the Design Your Days framework, which we teach in workshops, so if your group of business owners is ready for us to speak at your group, please contact one of us!

You can find us on Facebook as Design Your Days or contact us individually through websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends. Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

Tags:Design Your Days, life balance, time management
Posted in Change, Design Your Days: A New Perspective ( Podcasts), Home Office, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Change Your Sleep Cycle & Change Your Days: Here’s How

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

Many people have trouble shutting off their fast-working minds as they transition from their day to their evening and to sleep time. This happens to most of us at times of high stress, life changes and is a common issue for people taking ADHD medications among others.

The problem is about more than simple fatigue. It’s that our day starts later than we wanted it to, we get less done, have less energy, and on top of all that, we sometimes beat up on ourselves for not getting enough sleep, enough done or enough self-care. Physical, mental and emotional fatigue. And then we’re not there for ourselves or for those around us.

We are not our best.

Meredith Bohn Interior Design with Greg West Photography

Here is my list of suggestions for winding down. Take what has worked or you think might work for you and leave the rest. Or feel free to share with someone else having sleep cycle issues.

Whether you’re earning an income or working to keep the household and family running, these can apply to your life.

The idea is to give your body some signals or habits, so your mind and body wind down, allowing for calmer and easier sleep cycles.

Clear the mental clutter. How do you mentally close out your day? You need a way to leave behind the tasks you didn’t get to today, the ones that cropped up during the day and the ideas you want to return to. Create a way to get these out of your head and into a trusted capturing device.
If end of day sneaks up on you: About a half-hour before then, set a reminder to begin getting into “personal” mode or “home life” mode. It’s a different focus,with different people, and a different rhythm so begin shifting your energy.
Take time with meals: This may mean that you need to plan out some meals a week ahead of time or at least a few days, so you eliminate some of the rushing and have a more relaxed dinner time.
Decide on a “no technology” time zone:It’s proven that technology keep us alert (dopamine increases), so how about if you shut off all technology about 8 p.m. ? Have a good, old-fashioned “quiet time.”
Meredith Bohn Interior Design-Greg West Photography
Set an intended bedtime. You may or may not make it, but if you don’t have a time set in your head, you have no goal to aim for. Hours will slip away.
Watch no violence after 8 p.m. If you enjoy TV, consider the noise/vibration/activity level of shows you’re watching. Active shows won’t help you relax your mind.
Nighttime/morning routine swaps: Take a few days to notice the patterns or routines for both evenings and the mornings. If evenings feel stressed to the max, is there one routine you could move to the morning instead? Or handle once or twice a week instead of every night?
What calming activities do you use? Music, reading, hot tea, a walk after work – What sorts of activities help to calm your mind? Are you doing any of these at night ?
Check the lights. Do your curtains need to be a darker color? Do you remember to close them at night and open in the morning?

Julie Pelletier-Rutkowski, of Feng Shui Services of New England, has some Feng Shui principles and advice about setting up your own bedroom in her blog post titled “Fish Tank Head Board and Feng Shui.” I attended her class recently and learned some great ideas.

To me, Feng Shui is a way to encourage good and positive energy to flow throughout you home and your life. Pure and simple. Check out her post or her classes.

Tags:Feng Shui, Feng Shui Services of New England, Greg West Photography, Meredith Bohn Interior Design, sleep cycle
Posted in AD/HD, Caregiving, Change, Habits, Harmony at Home, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

Anti Procrastination Strategies – More Q&A with Paul Boynton, author of Begin with Yes

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

This is the second of two articles which are an interview with Paul Boynton, author of Begin with Yes, a delightful and practical book about taking ownership for our choices and moving ahead in simple ways to make our commitments happen.

We ended the last article with how to get un-stuck, where we all are sometimes.

One of his suggestions is to create small, “doable steps,” and then say “yes” to taking one step. The smallest step can give us momentum and inspiration to continue putting one foot in front of the other, and pretty soon, we’ve accomplished our goal.

Some days, it’s all about putting one foot in front of the other, and some days that’s ALL we can do. A key is to define the step to be so small that it sounds easy and feels easy to do.

This discussion is about:

Forgetting about motivation and finding inspiration instead;
What to do on a ‘bad day’ to move on despite it;
How helping others helps us.

1. In your book, you talk about finding inspiration instead of motivation. So often, we hear ourselves saying “I just need to get motivated for this task, but I can’t.” How does inspiration work for us instead of trying to find motivation?

This is such a great question, and one that lots of people ask. It’s so easy to wait to be motivated, when in reality we can take one of the small steps even when we‘re not feeling it!

Waiting for motivation is really just a socially acceptable excuse to stay stuck, and some people can wait for weeks, months, or even a lifetime for motivation to come knocking on the door.

Don’t stand by the door waiting; take a step outside and see what you can discover.

Many times real inspiration to move forward comes simply from the realization that we don’t want to stay where we are one more moment.

A beautiful quality I admire in many people is their willingness to “do it” before they feel it. It’s ultimate tenacity of the human spirit that touches me. We all have it – Sometimes we just need to dig a little deeper to find it.

My mantra is: Be afraid, but don’t be stopped.

Be confused, but don’t be stuck. Be worn out, but don’t give up.

You’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

And often, just remembering this is all the inspiration you’ll need to get started.

2. Many of us have difficulties when we try to move beyond the bad day that seems to be shaping up for us. I love your approach: ask a lot of questions and the power of questions. Talk about the questions and their power, principle #5; how does this work so well?

The truth is, we all have bad days, difficult stretches, heart ache and heart breaks. It’s just part of life. That said, the simple truth is, we are each really a lot more powerful than we think, or give ourselves credit for. I am always reminding people how far they’ve come and how many challenges they already survived.

I’ve learned whenever I am in lost in the forest, I need to ask myself “Now what?” The answer isn’t usually a complete map of the path to a better place but it’s at least the next step. And as I take that step, I feel a bit better and the next one comes a little easier. And after awhile, I discover that I am out of the woods.

Anything else you’d like to add or share?

When all is said and done, our lives are up to us. We can choose to move through our days without really declaring (and owning) our passions, purpose, and our right and need to be happy and fulfilled or we can step up and begin to make things happen.

It may seem easier to stay put emotionally, creatively and productively, and wonder “what will happen?” But it’s so much more fun to co-create with the Universe and make something happen.

And finally as it turns out, sharing the journey with good people is really more important than arriving at any special destination.

And the best way to attract good company for the trip is to be good company yourself. Helping others achieve their dreams will add so much depth and meaning to your life and appreciating and thanking those who help you will add so much joy.

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That wraps up my series with Paul. So, think about these questions: What’s the best idea you’ve taken away from Paul’s comments? What can you use, starting today, to help you in your life and business?

What could you practice with? And what difference will that make to you?

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Where to find Paul Boynton and Begin with Yes.

Website

Facebook page

Amazon website – link to the book

My short book review – what I took away.

Posted in Change, Habits, Life "Balance", Time Management | 4 Comments »

Perspectives Podcast: Self Care

Sunday, March 10th, 2013

Last month, Carol Williams and I discussed life balance, especially about how to recognize when you are out of balance. And what can you do about it? This month, we go deeper and begin to address “self-care.” That’s right, it’s all about YOU.

What comes to mind when you think “self-care” anyhow? Are you taking yourself to checkups? Are you working out? Are you taking your vitamins? Sleeping at night? We call all of the above “self-care,” and more; everyone’s definition will be different, but we have suggestions, of course.

Listen to our suggestions here >>> Self Care ………. or read our tips below.

So, when do you know you are NOT taking care of yourself?

Carol: My favorite example was when I was home with my first baby. It seemed like it took us FOREVER to get out the door. I truly could not understand how people made it outside before noon. Once, when he was a bit older and I was getting my routines down, I thought I was doing great. Everything was packed, everyone was dressed and ready, and we were headed out the door. Much to my dismay, I looked down and realized…..I was in my pajamas. I had truly forgotten about ME! That’s an extreme example, but indicative of what happens when we are in need of self care…we find ourselves putting EVERYONE ELSE FIRST, thereby cheating ourselves.

Sue: Our first tip is to start small. If you want to get back into shape for the spring and summer and have had a sedentary winter, take just 15 minutes to walk. Sure, you will increase that number over time, but if even 15 minutes seems “too much” it’s a great place to start. Just start.

Carol: Our second tip has two parts. First, Until you get “on top of” your self-care in ways you want to, here is a useful question to answer to get yourself through tough times. Make a list with two parts: Part one is … What gives you energy. What gives you peace. What brings you joy. A “list” can be on paper, on your pc, talking it out with a friend or coach or partner – but make it something you can add to and go back to when you need to. We also have an idea about index cards you might use … in our last tip. Sue, what’s part two of this tip?

Sue: Part 2 is … what takes away your energy; what drains you? See how you have both sides? So when you’re feeling out of control, go and FIND more of what GIVES you energy: client examples are: support groups, talking to a friend, taking a longer shower , having 10 minutes of silence at some point during the day, hugging your dog/cat/kids more than usual, closing your eyes and staying in the moment longer, getting outside. And also look at the other side: can you work 15 minutes less each day; not go out to dinner with that complainer of a friend. What are the ways you can protect yourself in this somewhat fragile state?

Carol: When you “want to change” many things, so many that you do nothing, and end up feeling paralyzed, do this: write out one of your “wants”, each one on a separate index card. Spread them all out on a table. Pick the one that speaks to you most loudly. Start there.

And remember from tip one, start small. Just one step. For example if you want to eat more healthfully, resolve to add one more serving of vegetables into your life each day. Just one.

As a reminder, you are reading and listening to a podcast series. We’d love your feedback. If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends. Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

Tags:life balance, self-care, Time
Posted in AD/HD, Change, Design Your Days: A New Perspective ( Podcasts), Habits, Life "Balance", Time Management | No Comments »

My First Interview with Paul Boynton, Author – Begin with Yes

Monday, March 4th, 2013

I couldn’t put it down. Begin with Yes, by Paul Boynton. I know I will reread it, which is unusual for me, but there’s a lot to this small book, worth reading and then practicing in our daily lives. My thoughts and perspectives about the book’s value are in this full length blog post here. I’d suggest reading each morning as inspiration and ideas for practicing during the day.

I took his advice and decided to say “yes” to asking Paul Boynton to be interviewed for my little old blog. And he said “Yes.” (Read more about Paul, his book and his work as a “human services CEO” at this link.)

There is so much in his interview that I’m breaking up his answers into two blog posts, to give us time to process and maybe practice some of what he says.

His interview is a lovely and practical transition out of my February theme of “life balance, whatever it means to you” to my March theme which is all about self-care. I believe you will find that his approach fits in well with saying “yes” to ourselves, something many of us don’t do often enough, whether we realize it or not.

For those who have not read your delightful and practical book, Begin with Yes, can you briefly explain your philosophy or approach, and what the title means?

The title of the book actually reveals a lot about the content, and gets to the heart of my philosophy or approach to living an authentic and purposeful life. The word “Yes” speaks to the need to be open to possibilities and the word “Begin” speaks to the need to take action. In other words, it’s good but often not good enough to think positive thoughts; we also need to roll up our sleeves and actually do something.

I believe that the “Law of Attraction,” at least as many people understand it, falls short. To me, focusing on a desired outcome in what can become a self-absorbed, self-centered way seems a bit out of sync with how life really unfolds. And it somehow seems to ignore the need to actually take responsibility to make something happen rather than waiting for it to magically manifest. “Begin with Yes” encourages us to look outside of ourselves and find a balance between making our dreams come true and helping others move their hopes along.

I also recognize that it can be difficult to always feel positive or optimistic – especially during difficult and challenging stretches or transitions. “Begin with Yes” puts the emphasis on taking very small steps forward no matter how we’re feeling and believes the optimistic feelings will eventually fall into place.

“Our individual views – our realities – which we sometimes represent as the way things are, are really just the way things seem to be to us at the moment.”

Tell us more about why it’s important to understand this difference you articulate.

The truth is, we are each creating our own realities all the time. We interpret what’s happening around us in ways that make sense to us, and then we forget that it’s just our interpretation, and begin to think it’s the absolute truth.

Once we realize this is what we’re doing, we can begin to feel a little lighter about the “realities” in our lives. More importantly we begin to understand that since we’re creating our realities, we may as well create ones that lift us up and help us move forward.

Here’s an example: It may be a reality that you can’t play the violin. However it’s also a reality that you could if you rented an instrument, took lessons and practiced. Which reality you choose is up to you, and your choice makes a world of difference.

Principle #9: ”It’s a thousand little ‘yeses’ that make life-changing things happen.”

Say more about what these ‘yeses’ are and how this works.

The “yeses” I write about are really the small steps we need to take to move from where we are to where we want to be. The reason the concept of small steps is so important is because it’s not only the most practical way to make things happen, it’s the only way.

The distance from my home town in NH to the West Coast is 2578 miles. From here to Paris its 3440 miles, and from here to India only 7694. No matter how we choose to travel,the only way to get from here to there is to begin. And the best way to begin is with yes!

I know how easy it is to get overwhelmed by big goals or big problems and when we’re overwhelmed it’s also easy to get stuck. Not knowing where to start, we tend to stand still, and as we stand there, nothing much happens. The good news is that we can get moving again simply by asking ourselves, “What’s one small thing I can do today that will move me in the direction I want to go?” Answer that question, and then take that small step.

Instead of putting things off because the distance is too great, put a little energy into one of those small “doable today” steps. And by taking that small step today, you’ll wake up tomorrow that much further along.

And never forget that sometimes the smallest of actions, in retrospect, becomes a pivotal and significant life-changing moment.

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That’s the end of part one of two parts to my interview with Paul Boynton. Please subscribe to this blog or watch for posts on my social media sites to read the second part.