Archive for the ‘AD/HD’ Category

Change Your Sleep Cycle & Change Your Days: Here’s How

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

Many people have trouble shutting off their fast-working minds as they transition from their day to their evening and to sleep time. This happens to most of us at times of high stress, life changes and is a common issue for people taking ADHD medications among others.

The problem is about more than simple fatigue. It’s that our day starts later than we wanted it to, we get less done, have less energy, and on top of all that, we sometimes beat up on ourselves for not getting enough sleep, enough done or enough self-care. Physical, mental and emotional fatigue. And then we’re not there for ourselves or for those around us.

We are not our best.

 

Meredith Bohn Interior Design with Greg West Photography

Here is my  list of suggestions for winding down. Take what has worked or you think might work for you and leave the rest. Or feel free to share with someone else having sleep cycle issues.

Whether you’re earning an income or working to keep the household and family running, these can apply to your life.

The idea is to give your body some signals or habits,  so your mind and body wind down, allowing for calmer and easier sleep cycles.

 

  • Clear the mental clutter.  How do you mentally close out your day? You need a way to leave behind the tasks you didn’t get to today, the ones that cropped up during the day and the ideas you want to return to. Create a way to get these out of your head and into a trusted capturing device.
  • If end of day sneaks up on you: About a half-hour before then, set a reminder to begin getting into “personal” mode or “home life” mode. It’s a different focus,with different people, and a different rhythm so begin shifting your energy.
  • Take time with meals: This may mean that you need to plan out some meals a week ahead of time or at least a few days, so you eliminate some of the rushing and have a more relaxed dinner time.
  • Decide on a “no technology” time zone:It’s proven that technology keep us alert (dopamine increases), so how about if you shut off all technology about 8 p.m. ? Have a good, old-fashioned “quiet time.”

    Meredith Bohn Interior Design-Greg West Photography

  • Set an intended bedtime. You may or may not make it, but if you don’t have a time set in your head, you have no goal to aim for. Hours will  slip away.
  • Watch no violence after 8 p.m. If you enjoy TV, consider the noise/vibration/activity level of  shows you’re watching. Active shows won’t help you relax your mind.
  • Nighttime/morning routine swaps: Take a few days to notice the patterns or routines  for both evenings and the  mornings. If evenings feel stressed to the max, is there one routine you could move to the morning instead? Or handle once or twice a week instead of every night?
  • What calming activities do you use?  Music, reading, hot tea, a walk after work – What sorts of activities help to calm your mind? Are you doing any of these at night ?
  • Check the lights. Do your curtains need to be a darker color? Do you remember to close them at night and open in the morning?

 

Julie Pelletier-Rutkowski, of Feng Shui Services of New England, has some Feng Shui principles and advice about setting up your own bedroom in her blog post titled “Fish Tank Head Board and Feng Shui.”  I attended her class recently and learned some great ideas.   

To me, Feng Shui is a way to encourage good and positive energy to flow throughout you home and  your life. Pure and simple. Check out her post or her classes.

 

Perspectives Podcasts: 4 Tips to Get Started with Self-Care

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

Easy enough to say we want to take better care of ourselves. Difficult to do…  oh so difficult.

When Carol Williams and I last joined you via podcast or this blog, we asked you some questions:

  • What gives you energy?
  • What drains it?

And then we gave you a way to set priorities for what you want to start with for your own self-care, plus suggestions on how to “get started” or get “un-stuck.”

Once you begin SOMETHING it’s easier to KEEP GOING. The momentum carries you along, while you wait to get motivated… because sometimes we just don’t have the motivation! (And for even more on THAT topic, see my blog interviews with Begin with Yes author Paul Boynton.)

Now that we know better what we want, and what we don’t want, how do we get there?

Please listen here:  Self Care March 2013  

Or read on below if you prefer.

 

Carol: Sue, I love this challenge. It’s one of my favorite hurdles to help my clients over. The challenge is that what you need to do SOUNDS very simple, but, can be ANYTHING BUT simple. Our bodies, biologically, resist change! There is even a NAME for this: Homeostasis.  Anyone who has ever tried to stop smoking, go on a diet, etc. knows this, but now, you can STOP FEELING BADLY about yourself for it. Time to trick yourself!

So the first tip. #1  Share your intention.
  • Tell a friend, coach, or partner what you intend to do MORE of or LESS of.
  • Ask that person if he or she can receive a call or an email if necessary.
  • Simply saying your goal out loud, and announcing it to another person will build in accountability and work its way into your subconscious.
Watch yourself and be amazed.

Sue: I often use the phrase “Path of least resistance.” Tip #2.

Let’s say you want to start  going to the gym in the morning or walking. The path of least resistance? Get EVERYTHING ready the night before: lay out your clothes or pack your bag, get your work outfit ready, too, and the music you want to listen to. Go to bed a little early.

Take away any reason you might say you can’t go when morning comes.

Grease the skids. Path of least resistance. Figure out your phrase to make it EASY to move ahead.

Grease the skids.
(Last photo of winter – promise!)

 

Carol: Your shared intention is this: You want to walk each day at lunchtime, but you are accustomed to working through lunch.

Tip #3: Try the “if/then” technique. Our brains are wired to receive this message.

“IF” I am tempted to skip my walk, THEN I will call Betsy and ask her to come with me. As you can see, it’s helpful to have a support team here. Betsy can be your accountability friend in tip one, or someone else.

 

Sue: Last tip #4: Attach your new habit or ritual to one that ALREADY works for you.

For example, read through your mail and paperwork during the time you make dinner, while you’re waiting for something. Or while your children are doing THEIR homework, do your paperwork.

Or support the habit in ways that have worked for you before: You used to count points on Weight Watchers and record them; how about recording how well you’re doing with your exercise habit each day?

 **********

In closing, we have some EXCITING NEWS to share.

Carol and I are rolling out a new workshop called

DESIGN YOUR DAYS: Making Your Time Count.


It’s for women business owners who struggle with time and energy management. Staying productive in life and in your work.  What’s different about this workshop? This is about finally figuring out how to design your days in ways that work for you. Not what someone else tells you should work. But working with us and our DYD framework to figure it out with you and for you and how you think, work, and handle what comes your way. Is this you? If so, please  join us in Vermont, contact me or Carol, or watch for upcoming workshops and a retreat.
  • You’re going at full speed but not feeling you’re getting anywhere;
  • You’re feeling stuck. You’ve reached a plateau and you’re not moving ahead;
  • You want a fresh, creative look at how to manage your time and design your days.
  • You know what to do … you’re not doing it though. You’re in your own way sometimes.
Our first Design Your Days workshop will be at the Hampton Hotel in Colchester, VT on May 2 and is part of the WBON (women business owner’s network) which is a statewide, Vermont business organization. More information is available by clicking the WBON logo below or here at this link: Annual spring conference.

As a reminder, you are listening to (or reading) our podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

 

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends.

Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

 

Perspectives Podcast: Self Care

Sunday, March 10th, 2013

Last month, Carol Williams and I discussed life balance, especially about how to recognize when you are out of balance. And what can you do about it?  This month, we go deeper and begin to address “self-care.” That’s right, it’s all about YOU.

What comes to mind when you think “self-care” anyhow? Are you taking yourself to checkups? Are you working out? Are you taking your vitamins? Sleeping at night? We call all of the above “self-care,” and more; everyone’s definition will be different, but we have suggestions, of course.

Listen to our suggestions here >>> Self Care ………. or read our tips below.

 

So, when do you know you are NOT taking care of yourself?

Carol: My favorite example was when I was home with my first baby. It seemed like it took us FOREVER to get out the door. I truly could not understand how people made it outside before noon. Once, when he was a bit older and I was getting my routines down, I thought I was doing great. Everything was packed, everyone was dressed and ready, and we were headed out the door. Much to my dismay, I looked down and realized…..I was in my pajamas. I had truly forgotten about ME! That’s an extreme example, but indicative of what happens when we are in need of self care…we find ourselves putting EVERYONE ELSE FIRST, thereby cheating ourselves.

Sue: Our first tip is to start small. If you want to get back into shape for the spring and summer and have had a sedentary winter, take just 15 minutes to walk. Sure, you will increase that number over time, but if even 15 minutes seems “too much” it’s a great place to start. Just start.

 

Carol:  Our second tip has two parts. First, Until you get “on top of” your self-care in ways you want to, here is a useful question to answer to get yourself through tough times. Make a list with two parts:  Part one is …  What gives you energy. What gives you peace. What brings you joy.  A “list” can be on paper, on your pc, talking it out with a friend or coach or partner – but make it something you can add to and go back to when you need to. We also have an idea about index cards you might use … in our last tip. Sue, what’s part two of this tip?

Sue:  Part 2 is …  what takes away your energy; what drains you? See how you have both sides? So when you’re feeling out of control, go and FIND more of what GIVES you energy: client examples are: support groups, talking to a friend, taking a longer shower , having 10 minutes of silence at some point during the day, hugging your dog/cat/kids more than usual, closing your eyes and staying in the moment longer, getting outside. And also look at the other side: can you work 15 minutes less each day; not go out to dinner with that complainer of a friend. What are the ways you can protect yourself in this somewhat fragile state?

 

Carol: When you “want to change” many things, so many that you do nothing, and end up feeling paralyzed, do this: write out one of your “wants”, each one on a separate index card. Spread them all out on a table. Pick the one that speaks to you most loudly. Start there.

And remember from tip one, start small. Just one step. For example if you want to eat more healthfully, resolve to add one more serving of vegetables into your life each day. Just one.

 

As a reminder, you are reading and listening to a podcast series. We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

 

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends. Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

 

 

 

Perspectives Podcast: “Life Balance – 5 Suggestions on Where to Start”

Monday, February 11th, 2013

 

Balance.  It means different things to different people. Most people think it’s elusive. Or don’t know what it really feels like to them, so  they are using someone else’s definition and it’s just not working for them.

And guess what –  then they can’t figure out how to get it. That’s what our podcast is about – getting you on the track to figure out what life balance means for YOU.

 

Life Balance – Suggestions for Where to Start (Podcast)

If you’d prefer to read, read on.

 

Speaking of definitions, here are two we found:

  1. A state of equilibrium.
  2. mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment

Carol: I like the last definition. Too often, I feel that work/life balance is some kind of “cop out”. An excuse to go home early. A reason, not widely accepted by many employers, to cut back on hours…and therefore your value to the company. Oh, she wants “balance”. Must be one of those “mothers.”

Sue: I have trouble with any of these definitions, because they are fairly black and white and are someone else’s definition. It’s like when you go to the doctor, he or she will say: “You’re the one living in your body, so you need to tell me what that feels like.”

What I know about balance: It’s a dance of order and chaos. It’s personal, how much you can handle. It CHANGES, from chapter to chapter in life. It’s fluid, fragile and needs constant work. Because things can change. Just like that.

5 Suggestions on Where to Start

  • Tip #1: Have you thought recently about what do you stand for ? What you value most? Is it Service? Achievement? Creativity? Because how do you know if you’re in balance, if you don’t know what’s important, those things you want to be sure you are acting out each day?

 

  • Tip #2: Which aspect of your life feels out of balance? Financial, spiritual, main relationship, social friendships, and so forth. Where are you feeling most and least like you’re living the life you want to be living? That will help you with where to start.

 

  • Tip #3: How does it feel when you are in balance? On your game? Feeling great about how your life is moving along? On your meaning or purpose? Describe it. Tell the story. Make it real. Because if you don’t know where you’re headed, you won’t get there anytime soon.

 

  • Tip #4 WORK: Know your boundaries. Are you a person who likes to leave work early, tend to your kids, then work a bit more at home once they’ve gone to bed? Is that OK with you and your partner? Or, are you a person who prefers to “leave work at work?” What are your expectations, and do they align with those of your employer? The message here: When your values and expectations fly in the face of your work responsibilities and associated expectations, it’s time to address this.

 

  • Tip #5 HOME: Household tasks versus work tasks: how do you get it all done without live-in help? First, take a look at how you are spending your days off. Is Saturday Mount Washmore day? Do you scowl at the kids because they want to go play when there is so much work to do at home? How dare they frolic when chores are going undone! Try breaking down the chores, a little every day. Try rotating them. Have the kids develop charts, and build their own reward systems. They’ll work extra hard for a reward of their own making.

 

10 Signs You May Want to Pay Attention to Balance (When do you know you are “out of balance?”)

  1. When you have free time, you think about catching up on work.
  2. When you have free space, you do some chores.
  3. Thinking about doing work or chores causes you to turn on the TV and reach for the Haagan Daas.
  4. You’re on Facebook too much and you KNOW it.
  5. You cannot get motivated to work. You can’t even find your materials for your home based business since your household is in state of chaos.
  6. You want to exercise, but cannot seem to get into that habit. It’s a dream, a wish.
  7. People ask about your hobbies and you give them a blank stare. Your dinners out with friends are about their hobbies and your work – or you’re quiet.
  8. You’re not paying as much attention to those you live with and love.
  9. You’re not as proactive as you know you can be with your clients.
  10. You miss dates, miss appointments, forget things more easily.

 

If you feel any of the above are true, recognition is the first step. Sometimes, it’s AS IMPORTANT as any action you might take, and actually it might be all that is needed. Try adding a little fun in, a bit at a time. If It’s clutter, try tackling the beast 15 minutes at a time, and give yourself little rewards along the way. If it’s lack of outside interests, try something you have ‘always wanted to” do, but, have kept making up excuses as to why “not” right now.

 

Sometimes it’s difficult to do on your own. Find a friend who can pull you out of work. I (Sue) have a photo shoot several weekend mornings now, not because I organized it or could do it on my own. It’s happened because I mentioned wanting more practice and two of my friends stepped up and organized us!

 

 

We’d love your feedback.  If you have a question you’d like answered, please email us at productivelifetransitions@gmail.com

 

Or contact us through our blogs and websites:

Sue’s is www.OrganizeForAFreshStart.com

Carol’s is http://www.efficientproductivity.com/

 

If you found our advice valuable, please consider sharing our podcast or blog with colleagues and friends. Thanks so much and GOODBYE until next time!

To listen or read our other Podcasts, please go to the Perspectives Podcasts topic in the right sidebar>>>

An Unhurried Sense of Time: How Do You Do That!?

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

serenity horse in landscape shutterstock_4597180 An Unhurried sense of time. I need that this week and so I decided to reread and update this post. Writing does slow down my sense of hurry.

Unhurried and time: words that don’t go together smoothly, do they?

An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth.” ― Bonnie Friedman

I’m famous for doing “one last thing.” I’m known for thinking I can squeeze more into my day than you’d think was possible.

But over the past two years, I’ve focused on being more realistic with myself and with my time specifically. We’ll put it all under the category of self-care. What IS the rush? Is there an answer to the question for you?For me, I rush because I  don’t really want to accept that I can’t do all that I want to; but that’s part of this, making strong choices about how you use your time.

Suggestions –  Some will work for you; others may not resonate. See what strikes you or tweak one that’s here.

Do one LESS thing. This became a new mantra for me. When I heard myself saying “just this one last thing” before I’d leave for a meeting, or “one last thing” before I stop for a meal or a break … I’d change one word. One LESS thing.

Create time anchors in your day so the whole day doesn’t slip by unnoticed. The point is to stop and pause during your day so you become AWARE of time passing.

My time anchors include: take a break every 2 hours or after each big task. Let out the dogs. Go see my partner working. Get the mail.Ways to stop and pause (without getting distracted!)

Answer the question: What IS the rush? And what happens if I don’t get this long list done today? Can I do some of these at another time this week? Most likely, I can. I put more pressure on myself than others do on me. So, get real about deadlines. Set them where you don’t have them, too.

Find a method that works for you to set priorities on your to do list.  A precursor to be able to do this is having a master,  “everything goes here” list, binder, journal, software — something so you CAN then review the list and pull out today’s priorities. That’s right; two lists. One is the laundry list. The other is JUST what’s on for today. Stops the overwhelm of a long list.

The David Allen weekly review was key for me. Thursday/Friday, I look ahead for the week and check on the week’s flow, number of client meetings and calls, travel time, class time, evening commitments – and how much time for me and my personal life.


An unhurried sense of time… perhaps a new favorite phrase. Or feeling.