February’s focus is on providing you with different perspectives about life balance, with the idea that you’ll consider your own and perhaps find some new thinking to add to yours.
I am delighted to introduce to you my colleague and friend, Linda Samuels. We share a love of writing, photography and creativity. We’re both organizers who also coach. We’re in NAPO and ICD together. We have some fascinating conversations about change, habits, chaos, life changes, life balance and more – all issues affecting how organized we feel. And Linda interviewed me for her blog, the topic being fresh starts. I’d especially point you to her Pinterest boards for dramatic and colorful inspiration; she does beautiful work there.
Linda Samuels
Thoughts on life balance.
Linda, what does the phrase “life balance” say or mean to you?
Life balance is like a seesaw. It has its ups, downs and the occasional perfect midpoint. What makes us feel balanced? Is it having time to incorporate our passions along with the responsibilities we’ve accepted? Is it having harmony between family and work? Is it being present and appreciating the moments? Is it when all aspects of our lives seem to flow with one another? When we achieve that sense of balance, it seems to exist for just a period. A shift occurs and that balance disappears. We then seek out ways to find a new balanced state.
So then how do you know when it’s working?
We feel balanced, happy and energized when on a regular basis we engage in what’s most important to us. We are doing and being in a way that supports the best of who we are. “Important” might mean spending time with our children, exercising, getting enough sleep, or pursuing meaningful work. Are we doing those things? Or, are we only thinking and stressing about doing them. When balance is working, our needs and values are prioritized and evident in our choices and actions.
And when it’s not working?
When balance is off, it’s as if we are dragging a huge weight everywhere we go. Our tasks and interactions seem difficult. We might feel on edge, burdened, unhappy, or overly stressed. We find ourselves living in the land of should. Thoughts become cloudy and we can’t see what we want or need. We become so focused on everyone else’s priorities that we consistently place ourselves last. I’m not suggesting that we become selfish. Part of your balance may include nurturing. However, if we consistently ignore what’s essential to us, feeling balanced will be elusive.
What do you do to keep yourself on track for life balance?
At a young age, I was taught to think about and negotiate the life balance piece. Much of my learning came from the many conversations I had over the years and continue to have with my Mom. To feel more balanced, I do several things. I pay attention to the doing and the not doing. I think about what I want to focus my time and energy on for the next days, months, and year. These have included things like nurturing my relationships with family and friends, learning something new, trying things that scare me, volunteering, using my creativity, and writing more.
To evaluate how I’m doing, I check in daily or weekly. I also pay attention to my stress and energy levels, what I choose to say “yes” or “no” to, and if something is pulling me in another direction.
Sometimes when things get completely off track because of an unexpected life event like death, illness, nest emptying or filling, I desire more downtime than usual to rejuvenate. Instead of moving towards goals and accomplishing more projects or tasks, I need to just stop and not do. When I’m ready, I begin to invite in and pursue the people, places and things that are meaningful to me and essential to a fully lived, balanced life.
A big thank you, for your time, energy and perspectives, Linda.
Here’s more about Linda …
Linda Samuels, CPO-CD® is a compassionate, enthusiastic professional organizer and coach, founder of Oh, So Organized! (1993), author of The Other Side of Organized and blogger on organizing and life balance. She has been featured in The New York Times, Woman’s Day, Bottom Line Personal, Westchester Magazine, Everyday with Rachael Ray, and Enterpreneur.com. Connect with Linda on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, blog, or website. Sign up for a free monthly e-newsletter with bonus tips at ohsoorganized.com.
Linda’s Contact info:
Email: linda@ohsoorganized.com
Phone: 914-271-5673
Website: http://www.ohsoorganized.com
Blog: http://theothersideoforganized.com
Twitter: @LindaSamuels
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Oh-So-Organized
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/ohsoorganized/
Tags: life balance, Linda Samuels, time management
This is such timely information, thank you! In the past year I have had my son move out, my niece move in, my neice move out and have experienced the ups and downs you speak about. I like your suggestion to pay attention to stress and energy levels. I’m learning to “listen” to my body better and make adjustments as needed. Thank you for the wonderful information!
A plethora of interests can be a blessing and a curse! I’ve learned that my life can handle 3 major focuses outside of home and relationships. Whenever I try to sneak in another — whether it be a new creative project or a commitment to participate in an event or organization — trouble is sure to follow! I, too, listen to my body for messages in the form of muscular tension or fatigue. A little trick I’ve learned when overwhelmed by a list of to-do’s, is to tackle and get out of the way the thing that I least want to do. Once that’s behind me, I feel more relaxed and focused for everything else.
I love your phrase about when you try to “sneak” in another! Don’t we all do something like this, yet your way of having a limit of three is a wonderful and useful approach,it sounds. I wonder if others might consider setting a number for themselves, some sort of limit. And the one thing you “least want to do” – doing that first releases all kinds of energy, doesn’t it? Let go the things that take our energy. Not easy but look what it does for us;thanks for the reminder!
@Lorraine-Many transitions for you in the past year. Listening to what our bodies are telling us is not always easy to do, but so worthwhile. Bravo to you for listening and making the adjustments you need!
@Lisa- You’ve got some wonderful tools and strategies that you’ve identified which work well for you….between setting boundaries, listening to your body, and how you work your to-do list. Way to go!
@Sue- Interesting point about the energy that gets released when we take care of the “least want to do” items first. I’m not sure that I always approach those items first, but I am aware of the clearer mental space that I have when they get done.
Loved Linda’s answers! I have found that I need more quiet when things get a bit out of balance. The “noise” of the activities, commitments, and responsibilities can be amplified for me when the kids are home or if I have taken on more than I really like, so I tend to retreat. I dislike “busy-ness” and do all I can to prevent it so I can have that wonderful balance. I’ve had some major transitions in the past 7 years, a divorce, single mom, remarriage, blended family, a downsized move, emptying nest and now another move, cross country. Friends say “you must be so busy”, no, I take care of what needs to be taken care of, like Linda, not ignoring or avoiding it. I also try not to dwell on things out of my control. I enjoy life balance too much to let it get out of balance for too long.
When there is a list and a half of “to do” items I have to do the easiest or shortest tasks first so I feel like I have accomplished something. I find this builds momentum and then I can get on with the more challenging items on the list.
Hazel – How true. We’ll always be thinking we are not “done” or fulfilled or successful without that. The never-ending, always changing game is never won. Thanks for checking in here.
@Lorraine – Building up steam is what I call that. I read an interesting article just yesterday – posted it on my Facebook page – about identifying your “1-3-5.” One major goal or project for the day, three “medium” sized tasks and 5 small ones. This is appealing to me because it gives me 1 and 3, which likely will get me hooked, engaged -get me moving. And 5 I like because it limits the number of the smaller tasks I would focus on. Takes away some of the decision making in a sense, too, which is useful to me. Easy enough to over-organize myself!
I’m definitely not putting my needs on the back burner anymore and encouraging others to do the same. I’ve found that women in particular tend to care for others first and many times leave themselves with nothing. I’m a firm believer now in taking that downtime that you mention and have found it to be a vital change for me with my family and in business. Great advice! I enjoyed your perspective!
@Lisa – I loved Linda’s answers and find yours are inspiring, too! Talk about life changes and learning. Your wisdom comes through particularly in your point about figuring out what you CAN and can NOT control. And letting go of what you can’t control. Thanks very much for joining in here.
@Kathleen – Thanks for dropping by and checking in with your own perspective. Many women do care for everyone else before themselves and it’s a difficult habit to break when you need to. Sometimes that’s because of you want to be and having some sort of balance. Sometimes it’s amidst life changes – adult children/empty nest (now what?), or supporting aging parents – difficult times to maintain a sense of ourselves or to find it again.
Great post! Life balance can mean different things to different people. I have read it termed as “fit” vs “balance.” No matter what we call it, it is about finding what works best for our personal and professional lives. We need to be cognizant of our priorities as they relate to all components of our lives.
I have learned to set boundaries, enabling me to tune out and turn off technology, knowing that it is important for me to refresh and energize during my off hours. I like a mix of business and personal time and one aspect may tip the scales but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a “balance.” I even delegate to my team of virtual assistants to reduce stress, allowing me to better focus on client needs.
Know what is important to you, set your priorities, announce your boundaries and respect your time.
Enjoy your Saturday!!
I am enjoying the strength and knowing that is coming through in each of your responses. The overall theme is that you seem to each know that you need to take care of yourself first so that you will have the energy and clarity to take care of others. In addition, you each have found perspectives and strategies that help you focus and negotiating a “right” level of balance for you. I’m in awe of the wisdom and power emanating from this page.
Hi Linda
I’ve had this bookmarked on my to do list for longet than I’d have liked, but I’m so glad I came back for a read. I love your first point that the balance is an exercise in ebb-and flow, not a static one size always works for me state. I do think that we need to include ourselves as an integral portionof the equation – we need to take time to play and for wellness so that we can stay the vibrant people we want to be.
I’m off to get lost on your Pinterest boards…
Hi Linda P! How wonderful that you came back to read this post. Thank you for taking the time to be with us. Love the priority you place on making time for playing and wellness…staying “vibrant.” Just beautiful. Have fun with my Pinterest boards. I love collecting beautiful, color-filled images. Would love to know which boards in particular you’re enjoying. Happy pinning!